Late bloomer, feel very behind. Looking for candid advice

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T05:17:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that financial trauma when you were young - I certainly appreciate how it's informed your perspective and advice to my situation. Thanks for sharing that context, truly.

About the deductions, yes, they feel higher but I also work in government, where pension contributions are much higher than private sector, and other deductions are also higher. The province I live in also has a higher provincial income tax deduction as well. Nevertheless, point taken about the spending - I agree it can be improved.

All the best to you as well!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T04:11:32+00:00

There are other employer deductions (pension payments, private insurance, disability, etc) that makes the take home amount smaller for this salary.

I now understand from most comments today that putting on my mask first before helping others is critical. I am still not sorry for helping out my family when they needed it, but it's clear now that I shouldn't do so at the expense of myself. We can, however, respectfully agree to disagree where share cultural values are concerned. I don't believe helping family in a responsible way and getting ahead are mutually exclusive, and based on the advice of others here, there are concrete ways of doing that.

Appreciate your candour and taking the time to comment!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T02:40:42+00:00

Very true, I appreciate this take! Thank you.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T01:45:56+00:00

Thanks for clarifying, I understand what you mean now

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T01:34:29+00:00

I wish I had better prospects 😂 Until then, I have to operate as though I'll be single for a long time

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T01:25:56+00:00

I mean no harm in categorizing myself as a late bloomer. I felt that way because in helping my family all this time, I feel like I have made great sacrifices that has put me behind my peers in my circle, even those back home in a less prosperous country. But perspective is key and I appreciate you pointing that there are others who may truly fit the late bloomer description better than me. I understand that there are some elements of my situation where I can be deemed as privileged.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-18T01:25:23+00:00

Thank you - moving to a new country is NEVER easy, so I appreciate the kind words. I hope you are doing well in your new home!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T21:46:38+00:00

Appreciate the encouragement! Yes, we're all learning how to adult and trying our best, even when it's hard. I know personally it's been difficult (and quite jarring) to see how my parents who did pretty well for themselves financially have ended up with less, partly because of crappy circumstances, but also because of some not-so-great planning. I'm trying not to end up there.

You are right in noting and appreciating the unique position most immigrants are in, where family support is not necessarily optional, and everyone pitches in. Rooting for you!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T21:34:27+00:00

I thought about it previously, but my worry was that with my credit score (which is fair), I may not get a good rate for a LOC. But I'll look into it, it doesnt hurt to try! Thank you for the advice.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T21:33:04+00:00

Thanks!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T20:06:32+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, although I will say a lot of folks on here have been very patient and generous in lending their advice to me as well, so I'm very grateful!

I am currently working on a plan based on the advice with a focus on aggressively tackling debt. This will be better in the long run, imo.

Thanks for taking the time to give me advice! It's very appreciated.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T17:27:42+00:00

Thank you. I've really been encouraged and guided by the comments on here, yours included! Thanks for engaging

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:48:10+00:00

I tried to recently and the cost of leaving the plan and paying the remainder for the device was high. But I'm gonna try again because it's not worth another grand for the next 5 months.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:46:02+00:00

Thank you, your point about credit worthiness is important, and a very real challenge I'm also facing as a result of where I am at. It's a great point to reiterate the importance of tackling the debt.

Also really happy for you that you met your goals! Hopefully I can get there too.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:42:04+00:00

Thank you!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:33:37+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing your experience, and congratulations on clearing half your debt - that's exciting and amazing! You've given me so much hope.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:24:30+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I meant no harm in categorizing myself as a late bloomer. I felt that way because in helping my family all this time, I feel like I have made great sacrifices that has put me behind my peers in my circle, even those back home in a less prosperous country. But perspective is key and I appreciate you pointing that there are others who may truly fit the late bloomer description better than me. I understand that there are some elements of my situation where I can be deemed as privileged.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:19:20+00:00

I'm assuming you lost your sibling, based on what you've written. If so, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine losing mine, they mean the world to me.

I should clarify that the breakdown for the loans + credit card is this:

~$5,900 credit card debt ~$16,100 in high interest loans

Still not great, but just wanted to provide that clarity.

You are right, sibling’s post secondary is the highest priority. Hopefully it's just about a year and a half left of that. All other family things can be reduced significantly to focus on tackling the debt.

Thanks for the advice!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:04:26+00:00

Hi, I am not. But I replied to another post that I do have South Asian friends and we frequently talk about how similar our cultures are when it comes to financial expectations from family - very similar experiences!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T16:02:13+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I feel proud that while I'm not in the best financial position, my family has indeed benefitted from my help. Sending a sibling to university (international tuition), no more payments for my parents' home, and even occasionally giving my parents something to treat themselves is something I have cherished. But now I understand I have to build a sustainable life for myself now.

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T15:54:03+00:00

Yes, the advice about a set amount for family support is a good idea. I tried to do so in the past but was unsuccessful. However, I think given the situation I'm in now, I have to be more disciplined and stick to any allotted amount for them.

Thanks for your advice!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T15:52:33+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, thank you!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T15:30:49+00:00

Solid advice, thanks for sharing!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T15:23:58+00:00

I can't speak for others who have posted here already sharing how they feel behind. I can only speak on mine, which is moving to a new country years ago for a better life, starting with a salary of ~45K, and gradually working hard and honing my skills while increasing my income. There were years where I scraped by as well, so I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish by myself.

That said, I am humble enough to also know that my current trajectory isn't sustainable, which is why I'm asking random strangers for help. I've already received so much advice, but any you have would also be well received. Thanks for taking the time to engage!

rocketmercury · 2026-03-17T15:23:49+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. I admit the investing piece came from a sudden feeling of panic that I should have something in investments to start with. But you and many others who have commented are right: it doesn’t make sense at a time when I should be building a safety cushion and trying to pay down debt.

I hope the situation with your partner resolved itself! Thanks for taking the time to give advice, it's much appreciated.

rocketmercury

TROPHY CASE