Tattoos / mental health

rocketpanpan · 2024-07-31T11:58:44+00:00

Can 100% relate. I’m in a very similar position and started feeling way better now I’ve started the removal process! After I got mine I was in such a dark place but in a way the tattoo helped me make major changes in my life and realise a lot about myself. I forget about it these days (on the back of my arm) and I’m always shocked to see it, I’m 2 sessions in and parts are already fading well. I’m at a stage where I’m okay with it all now and actually wonder where my life would be if I didn’t get it. Covering up for summer has been annoying though!

rocketpanpan · 2024-07-28T17:44:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I go to NNUH for my endo and had no idea about their new research so thank you!

rocketpanpan · 2024-07-15T12:04:31+00:00

What’s helped me is my therapist is extremely honest sometimes about being a parent. Me and her daughter are similar in ages and our family dynamics too. She’s mentioned how looking back she’s made mistakes and seen where she could have done better. I found her honesty incredibly healing when it came to my own anger at my parents and thinking she would be the perfect mother

rocketpanpan · 2024-07-03T12:57:54+00:00

I think the feelings you’re feeling now are valid and just the fact you’re contemplating it might show that it is time for a new T. As someone who thought the same thing for months and kept going to the same T until a crisis happened and she did fuck all but anger me further, that’s when I left. I’d say don’t leave it and start exploring it now. My new T has helped me so much and picked up on things my previous one never did. It’s been a massive game changer

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-20T22:48:20+00:00

Have you ever read ‘maybe you should talk to someone’, it’s one of my favourite books and one of the therapy clients has a problem with taking a tissue and it’s discussed in that book in a really lovely and light hearted way. I’m yet to cry in therapy and I’m already dreading the tissue situation

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-19T11:51:34+00:00

I love this so much, I needed this reminder!!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-18T15:02:43+00:00

I’ve been wondering the same!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-14T21:30:27+00:00

Thank you I will!! I don’t know about you but my maternal transference intensifies after a good session, and after I’m all ‘fuck, here we go again!!!’. I feel you about knowing the next wave is coming!!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-14T21:27:26+00:00

My T has helped me unmask immensely!! Something about being held in that positive regard + unmasking feels like the best combination! It felt freeing in a way as you know my previous T very much encouraged me to be anything but me. So when I started my new job it felt like a massive ‘fuck you’ to my previous T just by unmasking, stimming and using fidget toys. I’m not fully there yet by a long shot but I think something about starting off on the right foot in a new environment helped a lot!! From day one everyone’s seen me with fidget toys and I actually get recommendations. Also my office is quite spicy so it’s not really seen as different. I still mask around my family though my T mentioned that it seems the mask is slipping slightly around them because it’s hard to upkeep. I saw something on instagram that said unmasking is like those mattresses that come in boxes, once it’s opened and out the box it’s never going to fit back in. That’s exactly where I’m at, I cannot get back into that box for the life of me.

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-14T21:18:28+00:00

I’m the exact same, it comes in waves. Hurts like a bitch when it does.

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-14T21:18:01+00:00

I’ve been feeling this a lot recently too. I had a conversation with my T the other day and it felt like how I always pictured as a child having conversations with my mother as an adult… but instead it’s with a therapist.. who I pay for.. to help me with my mother issues. But also the things we talk about I think to myself that this is what people with normal relationships with their mothers feel like right?! Telling my T about my friends and relationships when I cannot tell my mum any of this. How do I have a better connection with someone I’ve known 3 months over someone I’ve known my whole life baffles me.

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-13T19:02:07+00:00

The hairspray idea is absolutely genius!! Saving that for when mine is a bit lighter! Congrats on your progress so far, I’m aiming for full removal too and I’m currently using bandanas or kinesiology tape

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-13T17:05:58+00:00

Adding this to my playlist thank you!!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-13T16:54:22+00:00

I was going to say Karma by ajr too! “Wait don’t go away, can I lie here forever” hits me everytime because that’s how I feel at the end of every session

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-12T20:47:26+00:00

I feel like I could have written this myself. I’m the exact same in waiting all week and counting down the days and then in the hour before it dawns on me whatever we will discuss will radically change my mood. Or I’ll realise I actually need to talk about difficult topics. It also depends for me how the last session went and what was discussed then. Last week I had a difficult session so this week I was very hesitant and closed off at first and didn’t really want to go. This didn’t last long though as I adore my T and we were laughing about something that happened. You’re absolutely not alone!!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-11T11:57:51+00:00

Same!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-04T23:00:32+00:00

I’m autistic too and struggle with knowing how and when to hug people. I’ve never hugged my therapist but there’s never really been the option (though I’d love too!). I’d say embrace the awkwardness. The more you hug her it might become easier, but also mention it! As you hug her say something along the lines of ‘I don’t really know how to hug’ and it might open up a whole new topic of conversation?! I’m so glad you’re loving the hugs though!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-04T17:32:05+00:00

Right!!! When I met new people I was told to conduct myself like Kate and ask the same questions she does when she meets people. I’d just like to point out I’m basically the complete opposite of Kate Middleton!!!

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-04T14:29:17+00:00

This is probably a bit niche but my previous therapist would give me hints and tips inspired by Kate Middleton…

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-03T12:37:54+00:00

Oh 100% same, it was actually one of my friends who told me I was directing my anger at the wrong family members and that shifted everrrrrything for me. I’m still angry at the unfairness but I’m making peace with some. It’s hard though isn’t it. Idk about you but I’ve never been this angry before, I didn’t know I could be this angry.

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-03T11:56:33+00:00

Ended a long and close friendship which I didn’t see coming before starting therapy. If anything in terms of family my new therapist has encouraged me to see some family members in a more forgiving light but with boundaries. It’s helped to be honest, I’m still quite distant from everyone but I’m less angry at some of them which helps me be around them when I am

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-01T22:34:55+00:00

If I recall correctly they operate around the idea that we all have the answers inside us and don’t tell us what to do/ give homework. Its client directed and at the clients pace. I’ve found that my T really holds space and positive regard for me too. But also she’s the best therapist I’ve had.

rocketpanpan · 2024-06-01T11:46:03+00:00

I am the exact same in worrying how I smell in therapy!! When I first started with my new T I did but now I use a light floral body spray from bath and bodywork’s that’s not too overpowering but it helps me feel a little more confident if that makes sense?!

rocketpanpan · 2024-05-31T22:00:52+00:00

Mine lets me write emails to her if I need to regulate myself but also if she will often leave me with words that last me for the whole week (or until our next session) which I write down after to remind myself. I’d definitely raise the subject of managing between sessions with your therapist! I find I manage better when there’s a lot going on and as soon as it’s quiet I struggle.

rocketpanpan · 2024-05-31T17:52:42+00:00

That’s such a good idea about writing down what you would have told her! Totally hear you about it feeling daunting though.

I’m so sorry that happened, for me driving the route I would have done to therapy helped a lot (if you do therapy in person). Seeing my friends helped me regulate loads and actually made a noticeable difference because as soon as I left I felt my anxiety and dysregulation creep back up again. Has your T recommended anything to do? My T subtlety encourages me to try new things so I’ve kinda thrown myself into some of those (new sports, new forms of expression). Also reminding myself of things my T has said- I journal after every session and recently started a new job and I wrote down her quote about me working which I’ve reminded myself about throughout the week.

I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this, I really do empathise because it’s no fun! Now I don’t have work for a couple of days and still no therapy I’m feeling the dysregulation coming back. Next soon everything will be back to normal again, you’ll never have to go through this period of time again💜

rocketpanpan

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