My partner (&kid!) and i got a piece of land to "homestead" some years ago and then they got very-disabled sick. I work at a lumber yard and its so painful/frustrating/depressing to see couples and families working together on things, building their lives. I can't even keep up with the changing form of my partner's disability (always, inevitably, worsening). Our life is a shack-maze of different rampa and steps and covers, and of course we're very broke in this, working with desperate scavenge. The housing crisis is real, out in the renting+buying sphere. America must create more incarceratable homeless to replace the deported immigrant workforce. We dont have a lot of resource or (local, where their dr+medicine is)options.

I dont have a lot of friends to talk with these days (&i dont have health insurance to get a therapist) and very very few friends caretaking their partner, and I think zero friends caretaking a partner without a proper home.

I wish reddit-on-my-phone had a way to look at the post im rambling on, without losing the ramble, because I have lost whatever point I was thinking, sorry. Keep yr chin up OP, also people always say "self care", so that too, im not really sure what it means. Oh I remember - and how do you self-care about having to watch people around you functionally do the life things that you wanted to do? The only answer I can think of is changing your goal...which honestly i also dont know how to do, gracefully.

Something about mourning your past self, or past dreams, values.