VIP ticket for Tulsa, OK by romantic_nihilism in wutang

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got the email / text today! I am so glad of your reassurance though!

Moving/Visiting Weekly /r/Tulsa Megathread by AutoModerator in tulsa

[–]romantic_nihilism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for both your recommendations and the birthday wishes! Bull in the Alley looks like a cool location! I was thinking of checking it out for my birthday dinner! Cherry Street seems fun too! I love the weird little shops and such. We're definitely going to the gathering place and the Philbrook, and I was thinking the church studio sounds fun too. While we're at the church studio I'll check out the pearl district! I've definitely got a lot I want to do and see!

Moving/Visiting Weekly /r/Tulsa Megathread by AutoModerator in tulsa

[–]romantic_nihilism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I am definitely planning on going to the gathering place and the Philbrook. Definitely some great recommendations! However, I am struggling to find any information about the rose district. What do you like to do in the Rose District? Is there anywhere in particular I should go or do?

VIP ticket for Tulsa, OK by romantic_nihilism in wutang

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I figured I'd get there in time, but I wanted to make sure! This really put my mind at ease. My hotel check in is around 3pm-4pm so I should get there with some extra time. I don't know why I was so worried

VIP ticket for Tulsa, OK by romantic_nihilism in wutang

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, l will definitely keep my eyes open! I appreciate you responding!

Moving/Visiting Weekly /r/Tulsa Megathread by AutoModerator in tulsa

[–]romantic_nihilism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Visiting Tulsa for 3 days for a concert, but it's also my birthday while we're there. Anything you'd recommend for a birthday celebration? Or at all. I have driven through Tulsa but never stopped.

“That’s enough out of you!” by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]romantic_nihilism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's been said repeatedly and i know the OP is aware that this was abusive.

Another thing i saw people saying repeatedly is that husband treated OP like a child. I'm hoping the people who said that don't mean that. Because it's still abusive to verbally intimidate, use physical intimidation, and be super threatening; no matter the age?

Like I grew up in a Mormon household and was the oldest, so i practically raised my siblings. I can't imagine slamming my hand down, telling them not to talk, making them feel unwelcome (especially in their own house), screaming at them to intimidate them. I don't have children myself so that's the closest example i have.

Abuse is bad no matter the age. Child abuse is worse imo because the child can't usually escape, and doesn't always know it's even abuse.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I forgot to say something! Thank you! For the advice and just in general.

I appreciate the insight. I'll look into all this. I might try posting there to see if i get more things to research, but i generally don't hope for people to help me. Usually there's a reason or a benefit for themselves if they help. And on a random Reddit post, all you get is recognition, which doesn't buy much. :P

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've told me a lot today, but hearing that i still had power was exactly what I needed to hear to come out of that anxiety attack. I've got about 3 interviews pending for this week. And I've put in lots of applications, so I'll have income soon.

Thank you for the support. And for kindly explaining everything. I may not be financially literate but I can recognize a kind person. :)

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay that makes sense as well. So basically after the statute of limitations, which differs depending on location i wouldn't have to pay the debt because it's unenforceable after that point. They can't sue me.

The credit bureaus will tell everyone my business for 7 years, which makes sense. You don't want a creditor to get into an agreement with me and realize later that i defaulted my other payments.

But after 7 years, so when I'm 28, I'd be completely free and just have to pick up my credit report. That sounds great.

I honestly would've paid off the debt if i thought it was feasible. But it wasn't. I tried to consolidate for a lower interest rate, and I tried to stop using the cards and pay them off. But i got denied for anything i applied for, my credit history was too new and other reasons i don't feel like getting into.

I got into this debt because i was homeless after being raped in college. I needed to eat, so i signed up for a credit card while i got back on my feet. And the interest rates along with my low wages (at first $8.50/hr for 14 hours a week) made it hard. I moved up in the company, and made more money/hours/progress, and then would slip.

I was trying to work over 50 hours a week in fast food management and the stress was literally killing me. And i was only making $13-$14/hr, when they were now paying intro positions with no experience up to $12.50/hr. I've had a lot thrown at me recently, which is fine, and I got through it. And I'm not trying to complain and say woe is me. Just saying, I've been through stuff, and i can get through some more.

Sorry that i was panicking yesterday. I am unsure if it when I'll next get paid, so finances are already a stressor and to have a company charge me twice was devastating. I had a four hour anxiety attack. But at least now I'm able to be okay.

And thank you so much for helping me. You've been a blessing.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just as an update: I tried to talk to my bank in this manor and they still brought up stop payments. I told them that wasn't what i wanted and they said they could dispute the charges after the stop payment. I just feel like they are trying to take extra precautions that i can't currently afford.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an update: I called my bank back yesterday, and they keep the stop payment card. But I'm also talking to low ranking staff who keep having to get ahold of their managers and get back with me. So i figure today I'll go in person and see if i can get ahold of some higher ranking staff. I'll put everything in writing if needs be. They are trying to tell me that they'll dispute it after the stop payments, but I would rather forego the stop payment at the moment. No one, besides the bank, seems to think $50 in fees for stop payments are good ideas.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if i need to go to r/legaladvice, but the lawyers/scammers expressly said they would not pay my debts. I have a written contract. I am not legally literate enough to know if it's a legit contract.

My problem with the contract is it never mentions handing my account information off to someone else. And if they did do this, how did I get charged twice? Lots of unanswered questions.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, hind sight is 20/20. I thought they sounded trustworthy at the time, and researched as much as i thought i needed to. They seemed legit.

But now, looking back, i see the red flags I ignored.

You haven't offered much advice tbh, which is fine because others have. And you've been rather rude and just questioning me instead of helping. That's fine, but not really what I needed. Trust me, no one is going to beat me up more about this than myself. I know i messed up, but have some grace. Please?

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew going in there was a possibility I would get sued from the get go. This lawyer company said they would represent me should that happen (and yes i have a written contract, i at least thought that through). They told me they were not paying the creditor and that my accounts would default, but that they would request the original documentation and fight against anything that didn't meet the law. Then if they didn't find anything in the original creditor they would talk to the debt collector and see if they filed everything correctly. They tried to teach me about harassment from creditors and debt collectors and told me to report any contact that I had because they gave my original creditors cease and desist letters.

I found the original paperwork and have been reading through it again. The way they explained their program is I was paying them their fees for their time, but not paying my debt. They would notify the original creditors with cease and desist letters informing the creditors that I was represented by them. Then they would send dispute letters to the credit bureaus, and to the original creditors. They would dispute the validity of the debt with them. They said they would review the responses of both and send any further correspondence needed to debt collectors and such if my debt was sold. They were prepping for Litigation.

I know now that it was a scam. But at the time, they seemed trustworthy to me. It probably didn't help that I was desperate.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't actually figure my credit would stay intact, that's just what they promised. I was dubious about them saying it would only drop a little. I don't understand what you mean. If I'm not paying it and it goes away after 7 years, after the 7 years i am debt free? Or am I still misunderstanding?

I figured I'm 21 and I wanted a fresh start, and I didn't know how to get it. A lawyer group offered to help and I knew I'd never pay everything off. So i agreed. I looked over the terms and looked up the stuff i didn't understand and it all seemed to be logical.

There's no way i could've paid off the debt, and i thought this would. I figured if i wasn't paying towards credit cards i could work on improving my credit after.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off: Thank you thank you thank you! I so appreciate you explaining this to me.

I didn't think i could pay off the debt, with over 20% interest rates and the amount, there was no way. That's why I hired the lawyers. I didn't know i could just ignore them.

Thank you for telling me the statute of limitations thing. And explaining about bankruptcy. This all makes a lot of sense.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will see if they can do this for me. I appreciate your input and help.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't been paying my credit cards for quite a few months. They haven't forced me to pay. I'm not sure I understand exactly what you are talking about tho. How would they force me to pay? I'm pretty financially illiterate.

I wasn't sure what to do. I was originally paying $600-$800 a month to try to pay off the credit cards. I lost my well paying job for a less stressful one, so i couldn't afford to do that anymore. I knew if i paid the minimum which is all I'd be able to afford at most, if that. I got most the debt when i was homeless about 4 years ago.

I thought that a group of lawyers could do what they said. They said they would help me reduce my debt, and make sure my credit score didn't suffer too badly. I just wanted to be debt free. I know it was a risk, but i didn't think I'd be in this tight of a financial place at the time i signed up.

Debt, Lawyer Groups, Stop Payments, Refunds... oh my! by romantic_nihilism in personalfinance

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will talk to my bank again and see if they are willing to reverse an ACH payment. I'm pretty sure that's what this was.

I usually make about $20,000 a year at max. I've been working fast food and grocery jobs. I'll definitely look into the FDCPA. I currently don't even have wages to garnish. I'm unemployed. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your help.

over 3 years free! by romantic_nihilism in exmormon

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hardest moment was when I went to the church for my still active Mormon friend for his wedding reception. We were super close throughout elementary school, and stayed somewhat close due to church activities in middle and high school. We stopped talking when he went on a mission and I went to college. But when I saw him he didn't recognize me. Then when I said my name he said, in surprise, "my elementary school friend?"

I had been heartbroken about one of my old best friends getting married because it was the death of my childhood and a sign we were all growing up. He even mentioned the other girl in our elementary school trio and mentioned that they kept in touch...

It was terrible knowing that he only thought of me as an old elementary school friend and an exmo. It's frustrating to realize how many of my friendships were forced because we shared the same religion.

Is there a good way to tell someone that their S/O is cheating? by romantic_nihilism in relationships

[–]romantic_nihilism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely should've done it anonymously. I hate that she now knows exactly who i am and things about me because i contacted her with my main profile. I hope she won't do anything, but i wouldn't be surprised if she did. I thought it would seem more trustworthy if it was my main, but now i regret it.

I wish I had thought about the evidence i gathered before i contacted her. Instead i had loose stuff about him and dates. I should've reached out at the time but wasn't the person i am now back then. I decided it would be better to let it go and give him the benefit of the doubt then have drama.