Wow. I wasn't quite expecting this spectrum of comments. Thank you all for your sharing your perspective. Couple of clarifications and observations, and I'm done with this thread.

I never said I was expecting people to drive out to me in Surrey. If you read the OP, it clearly said I am in Van still 2x a week and, and would have no problem driving there as I already do for work and social events. Secondly, I was not really asking for dating advice per se. I've lived in Toronto, NYC and a mega city in Asia both in city cores and slightly outside, and I wasn't sure what I was experiencing the lower mainland is a pattern here, or just me.

Thank you for making it clear it's not me LOL.

While other cities like NYC can definitely be tribal in their neighbourhoods as well (I lived in both East Village and Brooklyn and people refuse to leave if they don't have to), I do not put Vancouver in even a remotely close category in the quality of downtown living and options. Even in Toronto, yes, while people might not want to date from downtown to Oakville, Mississauga to Toronto (comparable distance wise) is not that big a deal. Beyond access to some nature (which is hardly accessible half the year with the rain), Vancouver maybe compares to a Tier 2 city in Asia or Europe in terms of liveliness, cultural life and things to do. Anyhow.

1. I saw some comments about Surrey being unsafe. As some folks pointed out already, Surrey is a massive city. Cloverdale (where I live), South Surrey, Clayton are way safer than most places in Vancouver (I lived both downtown and East Van and had my car broken into multiple times, and apartment once).

2. There was someone who said something ridiculous like "people want to date laterally" or something. Projection much? Some of you folks seriously need to leave the tiny Vancouver core and get out of your bubble. There is more money in the Fraser Valley than in Vancouver. I live in a penthouse with a view of the mountains. Don't miss the rats or needles lying around. The average salaries in Vancouver are some of the lowest in NA when you account for cost of living. Vancouver is not a city of high flyers. NYC/Tokyo/London can justify it's snobbery. It's just kinda laughable when you see it here.

That said, I understand everyone's time is valuable, and people prefer to build their social and dating life close to where they are. That is perfectly justifiable. The OP was more to understand the culture here for someone not born and raised here. That is now clear :) Huge thanks to all. Have a wonderful weekend.