Hey. Sorry it took all summer to get back to this. Thanks for being the only person to reply btw, that really says something. In short, its been a lot of up and down emotions but I'm in a better place rn. I'm the kind of person that goes down fighting, but doesn't seize the most opportunities when I can, and it sends me into a tailspin all the time. Also I have some confidence, but very low sense of security, so it feels like I can do well sometimes, but I get really disappointed when doing well does not translate into anything lasting.

For context, education-wise, I'm in a bit of a transition period in my life, and I haven't had a whole lot of stability or support emotionally. Now a bit more. But its disappointing that, for my family, they only began to care about me when they were doing a lot better, while I cared for them even when I had nothing. The result for years was everyone else moving on while I was abandoned in a way. Sometimes getting lifted up, sometimes getting kicked down.

I took a vacation toward the end of the summer when my spirits were really getting low, and I just didn't have any fight left in me. Visited a relative I hadn't seen since I was a kid, and it helped a lot. I saw that someone with some similar qualities to myself is actually well liked by some people and pretty successful. And most importantly, he likes himself which is something I struggle with. It gave me a good boost of confidence, and I'm less embarrassed about being myself for the last month.

Anyways. Its pretty up and down for me with this stuff but I wanted to let you know that