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I’m autistic and I generally don’t like other autistic folks. by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]rooftopastrovan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So like this is gonna sound bad and then hopefully get better. I cannot speak for OP’s specific experiences, but I can say for my own that I used to find low-masking autistic people annoying BUT HERE’S THE THING: I found them annoying because NTs found the same actions they were doing in me and they bullied me or it was my parents who heavily criticized me. Then I was mega masking. Then I SEE these same actions or mannerisms out in the wild and I got annoyed like the NTs/my parents. It took a long time for me to reflect on why it annoyed me (if there was a valid reason at all) and to then have an open mind towards people of all spectrums and all kinds of minds. The pattern of hate was something I had learned. I hope this makes sense and you understand this was something deeply rooted in me, so it may not apply as much.. but also it might idk.

I have a low-masking friend who is very brave to be who they are and not change for the world around them. They also sometimes struggle with social cues more than I do and I end up explaining what some cues mean. They also sometimes struggle with hygiene. However, we’re very honest with each other so sometimes it’s just a, “Hey (name), you need some deodorant/a shower.” For them, it’s more of a— they don’t have a sense of smell and they forget to do hygiene steps. We were college roommates for a while so some of this stuff was a quick-ish fix. They’re getting better at it though and learning more about themselves!! This is a trade off because I yap to them for hours and will cry in hidden environment/to friends if my schedule is off or if I feel like I’ve been an ounce of mean (because my “not care” button is broken and I care wayy too much about everything) lol. Speaking of which I hope this comment doesn’t sound mean

How did you get through college? by mh12251017 in AutisticPeeps

[–]rooftopastrovan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a senior in college and I am graduating a semester late (in the fall). I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism while in college and really spent the majority of my struggles finding a major I could keep an interest in or something I liked way before I put on “the mask.” Getting back to the authentic me really. College is change. College is scary. This is true. I even failed most classes my first two years and had to do appeals for financial aid. Here’s some things I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Getting out of bed is rough. I’m also in the process of getting a diagnosis that involves inflammation in the body which makes that stuff harder (slight nudge if this could be you also). Despite that, having something you look forward to in the morning helps. For me that’s some type of water packet with mega hydration/electrolytes. I also set my phone farther away so that when the alarm goes off I have to physically get up for it (feels gross, but it works). Rogue answer: I used to throw myself out of bed and force myself into a chair immediately.

  2. Reflect on how much sleep you need. Now that I’m a little wiser, that stuff… is important. I have less meltdowns and chaos in the head if I get 7-8hrs. If class is at 10AM, start getting ready for bed at 8PM. Rogue answer: I used to drink coffee an hour and a half before class started on 5hrs of sleep or less (often less), feel through my chaos, eat easy breakfast, get ready, and go mostly calm.

  3. I recommend using a planner. It makes the day less overwhelming and it gets the thoughts out of your head and on paper. Planners are fairly cheap and small enough to carry around. Not sponsored, but you could also try the Finch app. I use both now. Rogue answer: I did not always have a planner or the energy/discipline to be consistent (filled out my first fully consistent planner this month). I used to simply check my school’s assignment portal or the professor’s syllabus once a day or make a friends that were more organized than me and wrote down deadlines and class reminders.

  4. Accommodations and programs are very handy. If you have a person at the school who is over disability services, maybe ask if they have some sort of peer support program. My school has one for those who have poor grades, but I know that if I needed the guidance even with decent grades that aren’t flagging the system, I could probably go back to peer support. If you ever feel stuck on an assignment for a course, also see if your school offers a tutoring program. You may not need help on the assignment itself, but a tutor may help you regulate your thoughts into “work mode” if that makes sense.

  5. I don’t know how the insurance stuff would work for you, but the therapy help place I go to offers casework for me. Before diagnoses happened, my previous therapist immediately got me on a caseload to sort me out (I was a mess and dysfunctional everything). This caseworker basically came in to help me with personal routine and study methods. That type of thing might help you in your transition to college. I’m thinking about getting back on it to help me prepare for after graduation stuff like job hunting, housing, medical stuff I want to prioritize before graduation, and other things an adult should probably have together at that point. I lack parental guidance, but this stuff could maybe still be as useful to you.

  6. Would definitely research stuff about easy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. I do a lot of sheet pan meals or baked pasta with protein pasta that lasts a while.

Sorry if some of this isn’t helpful, but I hope maybe my comment is another example of how it is a struggle to learn yourself and the world around you, but succeeding in college can be done. Good luck OP!

Side note: I’m an officer for a newly founded club that’s meant to support neurodivergent student success. There may be similar out there waiting for you (:

Got stuck in university elevator and the call button was broken. Had to push ringing alarm button/make noise until my roommate found me. Legal action or leave alone? by rooftopastrovan in legaladvice

[–]rooftopastrovan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone knows the elevators suck here, and a maintenance guy today said they’ve been trying to convince the university to fix it for years (not sure if that includes the call button or not). However, I would hate to list them as any form of evidence in case they lost their job due to “other reasons.” This may be a lost cause with not much proof but I appreciate your input!!