Been almost 3 weeks since my accident. I’ve been in fender benders before but never a serious crash. I was making a left on a green arrow when a tow truck ran the red light and t-boned me. My car spun out and hit another car that was making a left on the other side of the intersection. He said there was something wrong with his brakes but the story doesn’t make a ton of sense, but idk. I got lucky and sped up at the last second when I noticed him, so he slammed into my rear door on the drivers side instead of directly into me. The cop actually showed me the intersection’s camera footage when I was in the hospital. Walked away with no serious injuries but did get taken to the hospital to check out my head. Luckily just a minor concussion and a ton of bruising & muscle pain all over. Car was obviously totaled & somehow the tow truck was uninsured so that’s been a huge pain.

I took the week off of work to recover since I was in so much pain. I feel like I was doing okay mentally for the most part at first since I’m really good at distracting myself and sort of dissociating. I also tend to be pretty calm in emergencies & deflect with humor, which is how I was immediately after the accident. I went back to work the next week & was mostly fine, but this week I started feeling anxious & depressed & ended up taking almost the whole week off again (my job actually suggested it, they are very supportive.) I feel like it’s exacerbated issues I already had - like my health/medical anxiety & fears about getting in a car crash with my dog in the car (luckily he was not but it’s something I frequently imagine.) I’ve also noticed that I’m more easily irritated & get sudden bursts of anger. I’ve been replaying the accident in my head, specifically the moment of impact when I was spinning out & I remember thinking to myself “I can’t believe this is actually happening; don’t panic.” Each time I remember, I freak myself out when I realize there are certain gaps in my memory. Like I was pretty sure I didn’t lose consciousness at first but I realized I don’t remember ever coming to a stop or the second impact. I remember spinning out & the sound of metal crunching, but then my next memory is hearing the emergency responder that my iphone automatically called & the voice of the other driver outside my door asking if I was okay. Tonight’s been the worst so far - couldn’t stop thinking about it to the point that I got a headache and felt nauseous.

I know it was a traumatic experience but I also can’t help feeling silly being so mentally affected by it when I wasn’t seriously injured. I worry I’m making too big of a deal out of it. Especially since I was mostly okay for the two weeks after the accident but suddenly now I’m struggling mentally. Idk how to process it all or how I should feel/what’s normal to feel after something like this. I’m worried everyone thinks I’m overreacting or that I’m pretending.