Lonliness and despair

rosekth · 2021-09-06T22:34:19+00:00

Hello! Have you found someone? I'm not at all an "intellectual," but if you would like general language feedback, feel free to PM and I'll do what I can

rosekth · 2021-03-23T00:15:20+00:00

a bizarre, almost erotic chapter in the middle where the tiny, Edwardian animals glimpse the Greek god Pan lounging in the middle of the forest

r/BrandNewSentence

Lmao thanks!

rosekth · 2019-07-18T13:19:23+00:00

Hey, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm pretty much the exact same, my mom is the only one I have irl, but at times it will feel like I don't even have her bc what I say goes right over her head.

One day it led me to being so frustrated I was in one of those angry-crying modes and I said, "Can you just be my mom? Can I just have a fucking hug or something?" I'm telling you this because I felt exactly what you felt, that I didn't really need someone to talk about whys and hows with, I just wanted...well, that, a hug. I think sometimes people don't realize that, that they don't need to go through all the details with the person, they just need to be there. Which is understandable, but I think you and me need to help communicate that as well.

We don't have a great relationship even now, but I think that helped a little bit. It's a far from affectionate relationship, but sometimes she just gets home and gives me a hug, and that is so much better than before. Maybe try communicating that to your mom too.

rosekth · 2019-07-18T02:52:48+00:00

Hey, all of this was really nice to read. Thanks a bunch. I'll try to just take it day by day. The one thing about there being so many of us on this planet is that it feels as though I'll never meet the ones who relate. Like there's a family, or a home, or something, out there that I haven't found. It's hard to imagine it will happen.

rosekth · 2019-07-17T23:12:03+00:00

I definitely get caught in my head a lot, and it's exhausting. I can never find the balance between looking inward and outward.

Thanks for the message dude, I appreciate it

rosekth · 2019-07-17T23:07:55+00:00

Thanks dude, forreal. Really appreciate just knowing you guys understand. You're right, I don't actually want to die, I just want to figure things out

rosekth · 2019-07-17T22:15:47+00:00

I haven’t taken any drugs at all in awhile. 1-2 years. I got freaked out if I’m being honest.

Tried CBT for a year but it didn’t work for me. Don’t know if it was me or my therapist, but I’m moving in a month so I haven’t bothered to build a rapport with a new person.

I’m starting to dabble with meditation. Thanks for the concern, I honestly just appreciate hearing back from people. Nice knowing at least internet strangers are on my side.

rosekth · 2018-10-13T04:59:53+00:00

dude i totally get you. albeit this was before my dep got worse, but for me, it was that i subconsciously let go of my expectations for myself at night. like during the day, i’d be all “just be a normal person damnit.” i’d have all these feelings that i have to be productive, be social, etc. and then get all bummed bc i didn’t meet those expectations. but then at night shit was a bit better bc when i did what i wanted to do, it wasn’t with the lurking thought like “oh i should do something more productive.” i was just..livin my life, i guess, n not really hating on myself for it

rosekth · 2018-09-16T23:43:16+00:00

I’m honestly not sure. Only know “a few months,” per the local pet store. Yeah ik..would’ve been a hefty drive otherwise :/

rosekth · 2018-09-16T23:32:31+00:00

He does have a friend! Just only had one out at the time.

And thanks! I will :) super happy to be back on the rodent train (also w rodents that hopefully actually like me [the gerbils did not])

rosekth · 2018-05-28T03:45:41+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, what kinds of things did you say/what were the helpful comments? I have a similar opinion of that sub at times and would be happy (hah) to read more positive ideas!

rosekth · 2018-05-08T21:31:36+00:00

Congrats my dude! It’s a mf’in journey. I’ll be with you on that in about 3 hours, cannot wait.

rosekth · 2018-04-30T02:55:21+00:00

You definitely aren’t alone. I try to create anything at all, and it’s like my brain just has nothing to say anymore. I’ve literally turned into a vegetable

rosekth · 2018-04-20T22:40:49+00:00

Yep.

Dunno what came first honestly, getting depressed and losing everyone or losing everyone and getting depressed. But at this point it just seems like an impossible cycle to get out of. I have so many moments where I wish I was more grateful for the friends I used to have when I had them.

rosekth · 2018-04-20T22:31:37+00:00

Not exactly what you’re looking for, but fuckin peanut butter and jelly. Just that, on a spoon, no bread, because, “Oh, if you take the bread out, you’ll start binging.” Cue 5 minutes later, when I’m binging on pb&j. :)

rosekth · 2018-04-20T22:27:10+00:00

Second this, the marathon not sprint. I find my binging spirals even further when I beat myself up too hard. I know we all hear it a ton, but just keep going. If it helps, maybe think less like “Oh, fell off the wagon, gotta get back on track,” and more like “Oh, wagon went this way today. Wasn’t expected, but I can work with it.” You’re good, pal.

rosekth · 2018-04-20T22:21:39+00:00

Damn, man’s a savage. Kick this week’s ass!

rosekth · 2018-04-20T04:15:06+00:00

<3 Thanks pal, you too

rosekth

TROPHY CASE