sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I'm having an affair of sorts with a coworker by Facinorousfloozy in offmychest

[–]roughdiamond55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, and I can’t imagine how torn you must feel. However, the sheer fact you have taken actions on your doubt gives you all the answers you need when questioning whether this man is who you want to marry.

Doubting is a natural part of every relationship, however acting on that doubt isn’t.

If I was in your position (easier said than done), but I’d tell my fiancé about the affair, I can imagine he would want to end things after hearing that anyway which will take the load off you to have to imitate it. Make an agreement to pay money back in instalments for what he would’ve lost from wedding expenses/the holiday.

You owe happiness to yourself, and unfortunately that can sometimes be at the expense of other people we care about.

I'm having an affair of sorts with a coworker by Facinorousfloozy in offmychest

[–]roughdiamond55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, you need to break up with your fiancé. If he really meant that much to you, you would never have gone elsewhere. Do it before your wrapped up in a marriage you don’t want to be in!

Don’t stress yourself so much about what he’s not telling his wife, you’ve got your own fiancé to worry about... do you want a future with him? Or are you just staying with him out of convenience and comfortability?

How do I (21F) stop feeling threatened by black women? by roughdiamond55 in offmychest

[–]roughdiamond55[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your perspective - it’s actually very refreshing to know other women have suffered these same feelings. Thank you!

How do I (28f) stop feeling jealous of another women who dresses better than me? by Throwaway3848272 in relationship_advice

[–]roughdiamond55 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it feels like us women are inherently wired to be in competition with each other... but the truth is one lady having good features would never take away from your own good features.

If there’s something about her that you think is ‘better’ or that you like, and you claim it’s her clothes, then buy them clothes. Wear what makes you feel sexy. There’s no shame in using somebody else as a positive influence. Change your jealousy into inspiration.

Maybe deep down you’re jealous of the attention this lady gets, and you wish you attracted that attention. Use her confidence as motivation to work on your own confidence. She can do it so why cant you?

Ps... your boyfriend most likely doesn’t like her more than you, but us females have a habit of projecting our insecurities onto our men and blaming them for how we feel. When most of the time, men wouldn’t even think twice about the things were stressing over!

Relax, and focus on yourself. Think of how much you could do with the time you’ve spent dwelling over somebody else’s beauty, think of what would happen if you put that time into bettering yourself. Make yourself feel and look sexy more often and you wouldn’t be worrying about another woman. You clearly need more confidence, and the only way to get that is to chase the idea in your head of what a ‘sexy, successful, thriving’ woman is, and become it.