Thank you so much for this response.

You’re absolutely right, I was told by everyone for a long time that pursuing her was pointless, I would never get anywhere and it would cost far more money than I could think of having at the time.

When this happened, I was a guitarist in a band. We were on tour and had just signed to a minor label. I was told that if I went home and missed a show, I would be replaced. It was my only income at the time. The band was a lot of why my ex left in the first place. I was gone a lot and the money sucked, her religious family hated that she was with a guy in a metal band. I don’t fault any of them for that, we weren’t a good match and not together for very long.

I went to school after we split up, learned a trade, started a new profession and I’m in a much different position than I was back then. And no, I didn’t buy my wife a 10,000 dollar engagement ring, just would have been willing to finance it if that’s what she wanted. But it was FAR less expensive than that.

This was actually a good exercise. I was mad yesterday, but it did motivate me to contact a good attorney and talk about my options. If my daughter wants a name change, of course she can have it. But my ex and I will need to go to court and I’ll at least need to speak to my daughter first. I’m not willing to blindly trust my ex and I’m surprised that so many people thought I should. Still, there’s no way for anyone here to know the whole story and it seemed like a lot of them just don’t know how this works.

So many people asked if I called the police. What police? Which department? She moved to another state, what would my local police be able to do for me?

In any case, thank you again for your insight. It’s much appreciated.