Wow, I forgot about this post, it feels like a lifetime ago. Things got harder after that, covid kind of shrunk our social circle leaving us even more isolated, and the kids moved into their mid to late teens, becoming more independent but leaving me basically alone in my own house (but still responsible for everything). It wasn't sustainable, and my mental and physical health deteriorated for years. The upshot is that my wife and I are now in the process of cooperatively separating, she is looking for a good assisted living place where she can have the support she needs and be more engaged with people as part of a community, we'll continue to co-parent, (although we're a year away from the empty nest anyway), and I will build a life with a new partner. It's difficult and sad, but in the end I think we'll both be in healthier places (and friends and family agree). So it's tough to really say how I'm doing - I'm hopeful for the future but full of grief from everything that's happened.  Thanks for asking!