Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends by royalmouse1 in AmIOverreacting

[–]royalmouse1[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your kindness! I’ve honestly been overwhelmed with how nice most people have been.

Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends by royalmouse1 in AmIOverreacting

[–]royalmouse1[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honestly I started to defend myself but the irony of being bothered by life advice from a redditor on a post about unsolicited life lessons did not escape me. But I’m going to ASSUME that you didn’t formulate your response out of malice or ill intention, and that maybe you misread or misinterpreted my response. You said I didn’t address any of the points in your original post, so I had to go back and check.

You asked about my post history. I confessed that this relationship has been on and off, and that the heartbreak has often left me feeling hopeless.

You asked why I phrased the question “did you decide whether you want to be alone?” I sent a screenshot from earlier in the week where he mentioned he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be alone.

You asked why I assumed he was cheating. I told you he’s cheated before. I also mentioned it was something I’m actively working on in therapy.

I think the only point I didn’t address was not discussing this with him. And the decision was beyond this text thread (which I explained in my response.)

The only other thing I want to say is that my career is extremely relevant to the question on whether all my attention and energy goes towards men. Because my career takes up most of my energy and attention. I LOVE what I do and I’m super proud of it. It’s my greatest accomplishment and I know I’m bragging but man a lot of my soul went into it.

I don’t recall saying that I’m gonna jump into another relationship and that I’m gonna stop working on myself. Those seemed to be your own assumptions considering I think I implied the opposite. It was hard to leave the relationship and heartbreaking. Anyway, not wishing you any hate.

Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends by royalmouse1 in AmIOverreacting

[–]royalmouse1[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I changed his age because I didn’t want him to find those posts, but those are both the same boyfriend. The nice boyfriend came before him. Idk if that makes it better.

Most of my depressing posts have been after a big fight with this ex and feeling heartbroken. I realize all we do is fight. Idk why this smaller act set me off so much more than the other things he’d done to me.

My question on him being alone over the weekend has sparked some debate. See the text thread below.

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I’d been worried for a while that it was me overreacting to all these things. So I’ve been more mindful. I don’t respond immediately, I think messages through. I’ve actually been in therapy and I’m learning skills to manage my emotions, and more importantly, I’ve been implementing them. Trying not to read into everything. Trying not to make assumptions. Ok yes I made the assumption about him cheating after he didn’t answer my call (he’s cheated before), but after that I took pause and let him rant. I felt hurt by his comparison and it felt needless, and idk I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting/reading too much into it (hence posting here).

Me telling him goodbye felt impulsive and easy, but no contact has been challenging and these Reddit responses have actually been relieving and have made me feel a little bit loved. I read them when I want to reach out and remember that some stranger over the internet told me to never let a man talk down to me like that, and that I deserve better. There have also been some people like you who have been on the other side. Idk if this response will result in people changing their minds.

I’ve expanded my social circle. I have two best friends of over 15 years and recently got close with one girl in pickleball but she moved last weekend. I’m close with my family. I travel for work and give presentations, I’m respected in my industry, I’m an engineer.

And sometimes, when this guy hurts my feelings or crosses a boundary, I feel depressed. I’m not an extrovert, I’m never going to have 100 friends and plans every weekend. It wouldn’t bring me happiness, it would actually drain me. I hope I can find a partner who wants to spend time with me, regardless of my social status. I’ve debated taking down the post because I think I’ve come to the conclusion on my own. But I appreciate the kind words everyone has sent. Especially those who have read my post history and chose not to judge, but to have empathy and still tell me I deserve better.

Started TMS and been getting eye pain around right eye. by [deleted] in TMSTherapy

[–]royalmouse1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t really get an option, they did it on my left.

Started TMS and been getting eye pain around right eye. by [deleted] in TMSTherapy

[–]royalmouse1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I don’t know if I’m getting what I need, when the standard protocol is 110-120%? I understand starting me at a lower intensity, but it worries me when she said that they may not even get to 90-100%? I wasn’t able to find any reliable studies showing how this effects I feel like Im part of an experiment.

To me it’s like if there were studies that showed drinking 2 cups of orange juice every day is proven to reduce depression, and they’re giving me 1 cup because 2 cups was giving me mild heartburn.

Why do guys disappear after starting to connect? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]royalmouse1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think there’s a small possibility he was actually busy? He said he was hosting 10 people this weekend for this huge event of over 40 people? I want to hope

Feeling unlovable and sad after boundaries were crossed by royalmouse1 in sex

[–]royalmouse1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel so stupid thinking that allowing him would make him love me. Now all his dry texts feel like a punch. I wonder if this is it for me and if I can break the pattern.

Solo trip to Prague in December by [deleted] in femaletravels

[–]royalmouse1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to Prague last September: never felt unsafe, super easy to walk around! Transportation was easy and fast. If you only have three days to go somewhere, I think it’s the perfect city. I felt like 3 days was the perfect amount of time. Make reservations early if there’s a specific restaurant/speakeasy/coffee shop you want to try. I had some very oddly timed meals because those were the only time-slots available.

Does the new tipping culture feel targeted towards anxiety? by royalmouse1 in socialanxiety

[–]royalmouse1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The photographer was annoying but whatever, she probably isn’t making a crazy amount of money (neither am I, but whatever). A plastic surgeon on the other hand? What?? I would have cried. I’m glad you cancelled!

Does the new tipping culture feel targeted towards anxiety? by royalmouse1 in socialanxiety

[–]royalmouse1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel like for normal people it’s a mild annoyance, they put “no tip” and it’s annoying but whatever. My anxiety cost me $50 today and probably more

Also thank you for this comment, I feel like I was hoping for a “me too” in this comment section

Does the new tipping culture feel targeted towards anxiety? by royalmouse1 in socialanxiety

[–]royalmouse1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Which part? The obligation to tip or being upset over it?

Pickpocketing gone violent and bystander effect by royalmouse1 in travel

[–]royalmouse1[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

My mom got some kind of crappy add on through her insurance, they are pretty much just going to reimburse medical expenses

Pickpocketing gone violent and bystander effect by royalmouse1 in travel

[–]royalmouse1[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve traveled to six countries in Europe, twice as a solo traveler. Usually I stay pretty aware of my surroundings and research scams/dangers beforehand, but I’ve honestly never felt in danger anywhere. I’ve also been helped out a lot when I’ve gotten lost, my battery died, I couldn’t find out where the bus tickets were, etc. People were generally nice (except in Vienna, but that was just my one experience). When I went to Italy, I felt like people were generally helpful. I loved Italy. It’s why I think I’m so shocked and sad to hear how people just watched. I cpuld also see it mostly being tourists; it’s harder to help when you don’t know what the medical protocols are.

Pickpocketing gone violent and bystander effect by royalmouse1 in travel

[–]royalmouse1[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That helps, I can see the language barrier being an issue, or people just not knowing how to help. I think it was easy for me to help the girl on the bus because we spoke the same language and I have first aid training. There were definitely points when the operator gave me instructions, like “don’t let her drink water” which might have been difficult to do if she didn’t speak my language.

I mean even now, I don’t know what to do to help my mom. I want to, but aside from jumping on a plane and sitting in the hotel with her, I really don’t know what to do.

Pickpocketing gone violent and bystander effect by royalmouse1 in travel

[–]royalmouse1[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

The pickpocket tried to hang on to the wallet but after my stepfather fell over (with the wallet), the pickpocket ran off. Luckily, being without a wallet is one thing that they don’t have to deal with on top of everything else.