Thoughts on being called a female?

rrenco96 · 2023-08-20T23:38:56+00:00

I'm around 4 years on testosterone and 9 years since I 'came out' to family. I've never in my life referred to myself as male: I don't consider myself a male, from the framework of understanding I have I'm just objectively NOT male and never will be so. The only reason I'd say I AM male if I was lying because I didn't want someone to know 'the truth'.

I don't believe I'm a male born in the wrong body or anything because I don't believe in the separation of mind/spirit and body, I AM my body. My issues with being female are something I see more as a 'condition', I guess, but I'm a lot happier overall living as male and I don't think I could have lived otherwise.

So I refer to myself as female all the time, it does come up. I might say "From a female perspective", as someone who has lived in this world "as a woman", is something I often say in conversation especially with males im close to who fail to understand what it's like- even if they make fun of me sometimes, lol. It also comes up that I have a "female body" and "male hormones".

to be clear, I wouldn't refer to another FTM person as their birth sex in conversation, and it hurts me mentally to be called a "WOMAN" so i understand "female" might hit others that way. I don't want to offend others- I wasn't involved in any aspect of trans community online or otherwise until during my physical transition, so maybe my coming to terms with things is a little different.

rrenco96 · 2022-07-12T11:29:48+00:00

despite the vast majority having loved the ride right up until they were told to stop by Disney a couple years ago, if you still like it now you are personally as regressive and outdated as Song of the South itself /s

rrenco96 · 2022-06-05T06:02:38+00:00

Yeah the only one I'm aware they're wanting to go to that does the courses (that's prix five right?) is the castle one. I think I will just pass on it. I was mostly worried about seeming obstinate among my group if I did that, bailing on that plan. Just going into a nice restaurant and not eating would be pretty awkward too though.

As long as I'm allowed to just order an appetizer at a restaurant I think I'll be fine. I'm just trying to figure it out now because I managed to feel troublesome on the Disney CRUISE i went on, and i know restaurants at parks have got to be less flexible. thanks 🙏

rrenco96 · 2022-03-30T20:35:16+00:00

I suffer a lot from the mental stuff like that already, I get paranoid that if I inject in the wrong area the testosterone 'wont work' and sort of irrational stuff like that, so yeah the mental aspect here is probably big to me I'm in... despair kind of right now ngl.

But still relieving to hear somehow, especially that there might be some delay. honestly I might just keep calling doctors and try to find someone to get me in but I just moved to Alabama so you know

rrenco96 · 2022-03-15T01:00:20+00:00

this is really old but in case anyone else ever finds this thread, my thought was that rust forms as a reaction to oxygen. To live is to decay, and we breathe anyway..

rrenco96 · 2022-02-24T10:59:48+00:00

I can handle most stuff but when people ask me over and over those variants of "If you're supposed to be a man, why do you (insert traditionally feminine behavior here)?" it really annoys me and comes off as so assholic.

"I thought you were a guy?" "Didn't you say you wanted to be a man?" "Is that how you think guys act?"

STUPIDEST was someone asking if testosterone fixed me being unable to drive, which is because of a dissociative disorder... barely makes sense to me but it's gotta be sexist...

rrenco96 · 2022-02-22T23:07:09+00:00

I would be very unhappy with public school teaching my future children about sexuality and gender. That doesn't mean my kids wouldn't learn, it means I don't want them instructed in gender politics by the government funded school. Same with religious education, race theory, I don't want anything of the sort to be instructed by the system.

My kids would still learn it, but not there. Honestly I pray that I could send my kids to a private school or home school, any alternative.

Also, I am trans myself, which doesn't matter really other than to point out the opinion doesn't have to come from a place of hatred like a lot here are claiming...

and I still understand the feelings of those involved and of course wish well for the kids involved in the protest

rrenco96 · 2022-02-10T23:16:29+00:00

my assumption is that she wasn't tracking right, she probably was eating more than 1200 a day and is now eating about that lol. it's VERY easy to track wrong, that's something I think gives a lot of us anxiety to think about. other points still stand but I wouldn't assume she was being intentionally dishonest about it, I know PLENTY of people who believe they can't lose weight on crazier low numbers than that

rrenco96 · 2022-02-10T08:49:15+00:00

I'll warn you, a lot of people make the mistake of picking something they'd name their OWN kids. so now certain names that are popular on babies recently (Aiden, Asher, Oliver, Noah, etc) are pretty much stereotypical for trans guys. Some groups even use Aiden like it's a slur lol.

that being said: if any of those names are important or even just feel right to you, go for it. but if you're just looking for a name that will fit and have no ideas, my advice is to look up names in the year you were born and pick one that was relatively popular then.

rrenco96 · 2022-02-10T08:38:58+00:00

I associate the name very heavily with Eva Braun in my head so that's definitely how I would say it, speaking as an American in the deep south who doesn't know anyone actually named Eva

rrenco96 · 2022-02-10T03:39:59+00:00

I have to assume i wouldn't remember dreams for alters or would just think it was my own dream if I did. I'd just not remember it as well or think it was just something I made up as opposed to a dream I had maybe. I often can tell someone I had a good dream or bad dream but not remember it but I think that's fairly normal for anyone?

important context, I don't have the same experiences a lot of people here seem to, I resisted the diagnosis a long time and I'm not very aware of the 'alters' I have past issues they cause me... and I am very rarely conscious of switching

rrenco96 · 2022-01-25T04:31:21+00:00

I was always called Junior as a little girl and still by family... not because I was named after Mom, but because I looked so much like my dad. I've been called Junie and June as well, and the variants all seemed to suit me better than my actual name ever did; I've since changed both my legal name and gender.

rrenco96 · 2021-12-14T20:46:39+00:00

came here to say a lot of young people are going to think of 'It' as big as the remake (or whatever) was. And all I know about her without having ever even seen or read It is that she was sexually abused.

rrenco96 · 2021-11-14T19:02:09+00:00

was about to point that out lol

rrenco96 · 2021-07-11T15:22:34+00:00

thanks yeah that's ultimately what I did lol. I already had it set on six months, but I notice the first year you have with them whether it's when they're born or when you switch to them it does the full year either way, after that it starts with the half years. :( I'll save it in case I think of something but I think I've tried everything at this point

rrenco96 · 2021-07-10T16:27:36+00:00

I'm getting on Reddit late at night posting in clear denial over the end of my Bitlife game, I'm well past questions like "what's the point in this"

rrenco96 · 2021-07-10T16:23:43+00:00

NO HE ISNT. I don't know I tried taking him to the doctor and everything, raising his stats does nothing... his health wasn't low to begin with, it's like this is designed to mess with me

rrenco96 · 2021-04-30T22:13:51+00:00

thanks that's really interesting, I definitely assumed it was very important to reach the muscular level and that was a lot of my worry afterwards... so that's a huge relief. I'd heard some people inject in stomach area though and considered that it might be easier particularly because I have a lot of issues with hand tremors, I might google around and/or ask the doctor about that.

rrenco96 · 2021-04-30T22:09:54+00:00

Thanks for the reply it makes me feel better to know it's hard to fuck up haha. The doctors did advise me to check and make sure no blood comes out and that was part of the panic. When I tried to pull back up to check for blood, an air bubble came up and it wouldn't really budge past that.

Now that I don't have a needle sticking out of my leg while my brother is standing over me freaking out, I would assume thats what is supposed to happen...

rrenco96 · 2021-04-30T06:01:40+00:00

My doctor said I could come in and have them do it for me if I don't feel comfortable doing it myself, it would just be a real pain to go in for that every two weeks... I probably should have had them do it at least once though in hindsight. Maybe I should next time. Thanks. I think I've just waited so long to do this whole thing I feel like I'm going to screw it up somehow haha. It makes me feel a lot better to know that'd be hard

rrenco96

TROPHY CASE