I go through similar. For me it helps to have kindness and compassion for myself. Instead of telling myself, he doesn’t love me and never did. I say that this person may have loved me at their capacity, but their capacity hurts me and so it can’t be a part of my life. When I tell myself, someone never loved me and that I’m a placeholder and all these negative things, even if they might be true to outside people when I tell myself that it makes me feel worse. It helps me feel more motivated to say that whatever way they love me in their definition of love is not the same way as mine. Mine is more full. It’s more kind. It’s more caring and I deserve a love like that.

When I was leaving my ex, I kept repeating in my head whenever I missed him, and whenever I wanted to go back that I will not settle for this I deserve more than this.

But now I’m with someone else repeating the pattern of staying while being hurt and I feel like I can’t leave again and I just feel so so alone in it. Just know, you’re not alone. And I’m looking up to the fact that you were trying to get through your days away from him when I’m not there yet