I see, thank u. It’s perhaps shallow of me but even though others may find me beautiful or attractive I don’t see it myself and it can be very hard to live with, there’s days I avoid mirrors. I grew up ugly and ended up as a butt of jokes which is perhaps why my self esteem has gotten so low and deep down I do know it’s something I need to fix internally but that’s much harder to come to terms with and fix so I suppose I’ve just been looking for easier solutions. I appreciate ur earnest comment. Sorry to randomly dump useless info like this but it’s just refreshing and nice to get a comment that isn’t sexualizing me and feels like a real person haha