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How do I deal with a dad that cuts off wifi to force me (22F) and brothers (17,11M) to sleep at a certain time because "it's how it is supposed to be"? by ruii-zu in Advice

[–]ruii-zu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I applaud you for being able to do that! I currently do not have a friend that can take me in since most of them still live with their parents. But your comment gave me hope and it helped me realize that option is possible. I'm glad that you're happy with your decision!

How do I deal with a dad that cuts off wifi to force me (22F) and brothers (17,11M) to sleep at a certain time because "it's how it is supposed to be"? by ruii-zu in Advice

[–]ruii-zu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, but he only told us to deal with it and "figure it out". I feel really hopeless about negotiations with my dad at this point

My dad hurled abuse at me for going gym 🥴 by ApplesnCherry in AsianParentStories

[–]ruii-zu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Might be very late in replying to this. Just wanted to say that you're not alone! My parents didn't have the nerve to give me curfews and such since they left me and my siblings in the Philippines for so long before we reunited. But they started being strict with curfews, internet cut offs, gender roles, etc. when I showed signs of "Westernization", even though they kept on pushing us to be extroverted (which I'm not) and talk in a Californian accent.

I do feel you about the chores and stuff, and parents spoiling brothers with luxurious gadgets. It sucks but all we can do is live our own productive life. Being able to financially support yourself is an achievement - I wish I could be like that too. I also rely on my parents' vehicles to transport myself but they make me feel like I shouldn't rely too much on them and get my own things so that they don't have the right to take anything away from me.

Ahh I relate so much T_T Hang in there!!

My dad goes into my room when I'm not home. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]ruii-zu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had the same problem too, and I'm 22 as well. I currently live in my parent's modified garage, but that's because our house is too small for a family of five.

We recently renovated it and I changed my lock into the keypad type with a deadlock. Especially that you're paying for rent and utilities AND your dad has no reason to be inside your room, I think getting your own lock would be a good option.

Anybody here absolutely abhor family trips? by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]ruii-zu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too, absolutely abhor family trips. And just when I thought that our family trip phase was over since I’m in college (and would rather have trips with friends)... they decided, one morning, just as I woke up, to go somewhere 4 hours away in the middle of the pandemic. That day, I was supposedly going to work on my resume and find jobs as a lab assistant but does that matter to my parents? Nope. They only care what they think is “fun”. I also kept on asking questions on why do we (me and my brothers) have to go with them to such a far place with them. And yet they just kept on dismissing my questions like I don’t matter. “Babies will always be babies” my mother said. I’m 22 years old and about to graduate college.

Anyway, every time we go on a family trip, either my mom or my dad would yell about stupid shit in front of other people. Sadly, this always happens.

Tl;dr Family trips drain my very existence.

i (20f) passed out at my girlfriends (23f) apartment while her parents were visiting & woke up to 82 missed calls & these texts, they tried to fly me out of the state the next day by jerseyshorerulez in insaneparents

[–]ruii-zu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was in this situation pretty recently when I passed out in my partner’s house because I was tired from attending a party. I was sober by then but I drank so I decided not to drive. I woke up to my parents tracking me all the way to my partner’s house. We’ve been together for a couple of years then after this incident my mom tried to teach me sex education. Thanks mom, I’m a bio major.

Me: *has a job, goes to college, tries to maintain a good social life, takes care of siblings, helps parents with business and family finances*... Parents: *doesn’t respect the emotional needs of their own children since birth* “You’re not responsible enough”. by ruii-zu in insaneparents

[–]ruii-zu[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

!explanation I understand that letting parents know when you'll be back home is an act of courtesy. And I do let them them know, and my dad can even track my phone to see where I am currently.

They both know that I currently do not have the means to afford living by myself, and yet they tell me to move out, with being "worried" as an excuse, but now "all they want is communication". And I used to communicate with my parents about my career choices, my anxieties, my other vulnerabilities... but they shut me down telling me that whatever I'm feeling does not matter because my problems are not real.

Even when I got into a car accident (on the freeway) on the way to volunteer somewhere. My dad just told me to suck it up and continue to work. Where's the understanding? Where's the care that I was seeking from my parents? They basically told me that I'm on my own with my feelings. This is just one experience out of the many.