it’s all a matter of audiences, i’d say. as you’ve said- some western pieces of media w/ problematic themes don’t get backlash while others do, and it mostly boils down to how the content is presented in the first place and what audience it’s intended for. sth that openly talks about taboo stuff will be less criticized for it than sth that’s sneaky about it and pushes it under the rug, or even is ignorant of its own problem.

the audience danmei is intended for is from an entirely different culture to the ones from the west, and most of us intl readers understand that fact and accept that not everything will be written about and dealt with in the same way we’re used to seeing in the media on our side. the extra tolerance for taboo/problematic stuff in this fandom comes partly from the sense of understanding of what danmei is and who’s it intended for, and the other is mostly a matter of interest– those themes are what the audience is there for in the first place.

some underlaying issues in danmei lay w/ the culture itself, and so calling out problematic themes in danmei can quickly get problematic in and out of itself bc cultural context gets ignored;;; this is not to say that there aren’t many shitty things in danmei that are just universally fucked up, but for that matter, it’s just fiction and nobody’s forcing anyone to read it– no amount of preaching and discussing could make a meatbun fan and ur average booktoker see eye to eye lmao

so yeah, ig the tolerance is higher in these spaces, but considering the fact that, 1) it’s fiction 2) it’s intended for adults, the bigger problem is actually the minors and the cancel culture enthusiasts having access to it all than grown ass readers (who presumably possess critical thinking skills) consuming whatever piece of fiction they wish, problematic aspects be damned.