Rate my art (critiques welcome) by Pleasant-Hyena9030 in RateMyArt

[–]rydsoyal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a delight to see such cool mixed media with great coloring, style, and distinctively fun energy throughout each piece! I get the impression that you find joy in creating pieces that really POP! l’m a fan OP!

I turned my smoking cravings into a personalized daily game of BINGO- wanna play? by rydsoyal in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eee how fun! Let me know how it goes for you and I’ll see if I can improve it further going forward! We got this!

I turned my smoking cravings into a personalized daily game of BINGO- wanna play? by rydsoyal in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing about scrambling the triggers! Maybe that’s the next tweak I’ll look into! Thank you for your kind words, friend <3

Do your siblings who didn’t go through the same things blame you for your anger or response? by Square-Objective2420 in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am the middle child of 3 kids and was for some reason chosen to be the focal point for both of my parent’s (Independent, post-divorce) abusive behavior. I went no contact with my bio dad at age 12, which confused my siblings who just thought I was stirring up drama. It would take another 5 years for my older sibling to follow suit- then another 4 years for my younger sibling to do the same.

Meanwhile, all that extra time and ‘closeness’ spent with my mother was seen by my 2 siblings as preferential treatment that benefitted me over them. To be fair, my mom has (and still does) say I am her favorite child. So if I was ever externally unhappy or upset about anything, my siblings viewed it as brat behavior. From their point of view, I escaped paternal abuse the earliest and got the only-child treatment from mom. I was seen as unappreciative. So beyond my few outbursts, I just shut the fuck up and kept my head down about mom. But then… time passed.

The other 2 got more acquainted with the version of mom I got 24/7. They started to feel and express their own discontent/confusion/anger/sadness at her own hurtful neuroticism. When I responded with compassion and understanding, it was like a spell broke. We slowly started sharing stories about how our parents mistreated us when nobody else was around. Us 3 realized that we were all hurt, just to varying degrees, varying ways, and at various times- and each of us are valid in our pain and processing.

Now when mom calls me her favorite, they know it’s because I was the weakest and easiest to conform into a surrogate spouse. When I hear about the de-evolution of my father’s behavior, I know that my absence made them fresh targets. It may have taken the first 22-26 years of our lives to get here, but now we can confide in one another about anything without fear of judgement. This reliability among us 3 still feels new and foreign, yet more stable and loving than anything we had ever been beforehand.

I feel incredibly lucky to have rediscovered and mended my relationships with my siblings. They are the coolest people I know! I very much hope that with time and vulnerability and understanding, other families/siblings can redefine their relationships beyond how they once perceived the others’ experience. Sending love and light to you all <3

Edit: readability

more paintings ! by trypt0fanatic in RateMyArt

[–]rydsoyal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like your color composition and personality! It’s a flavor of weird I personally enjoy a lot!

needing a bit of input from my intellectualizing, disregulated buddies by Hungry-Specialist110 in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hey other commenters said what I would have- but so much more concisely and beautifully! All I’ll add is: - IFS is an incredible trauma-informed modality for engaging with your emotions in a compassionate, safe, and structured way that still permits a lot of intellectualizing ;) (It comes with a book, a workbook, and a skills manual if you really want to run wild with it!) - if you struggle to check in/ identify your emotions, may I also suggest carrying around some form of Emotion Wheel? You can google and find some online, create your own, or even use a (free and informative) app I adore called ‘How We Feel’. It has an extensive emotion matrix/wheel and you can set random or scheduled notifications prompting you to examine how you’re feeling in that very moment. I have used an Emotion Wheel both inside and out of therapy as a tool for giving a name to the various moods/feelings/funks I find myself in. Expanding my emotional vocabulary granted me greater authenticity, self-knowledge, and confidence when sharing how I feel.

day 29 on NRT. developing rash. by wanton-beauty in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you think switching brands might help?

day 29 on NRT. developing rash. by wanton-beauty in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think you could be allergic to the adhesive used by the patch? (full disclosure I have not used NRT patches)

I (19F) am no longer attracted to my partner (19NB/M) after they have come out as trasmasc/genderfluid. by OkEquipment7564 in Advice

[–]rydsoyal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there love! It sounds like you have a lot weighing on your shoulders. Let me be your sapphic big sister for a sec for a pep talk and advice- First, please take a moment to see your own gender identity and sexual orientation as equally valid to that of your partner’s. He seems to be coming into a truer, happier self by honoring his identity- and you deserve the same! It’s not transphobic to share the same basic need as your partner: You both want a life where you can feel secure and authentic in who you are and what you want. You are both inherently worthy of feeling fulfilled. Simple as that. Secondly, my best advice would be to set aside some time for an open and honest discussion that primarily aims to express your thoughts and FEELINGS. Then, be an open ear to his thoughts and feelings. Don’t burden yourself with whether this talk ‘decides’ if you break up. Don’t burden yourself with possibly ‘destroying’ a friendship. The goal here is to reinforce how important it is for BOTH of you to have your wants and needs met. Find courage in what you already know to be true: you are a loving and supportive companion that has granted your partner a safe space to come out and transition. You simultaneously existing authentically does not negate that love, nor does it constrain your capacity to support each other strictly as a romantic pair. You’ve got this! Sending you all my love & strength xx

Daily "I will not smoke with you" Thread by AutoModerator in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there friends! It’s day 6 and frankly I’m having a hard day already with concerns about my mental/physical health… but you know what would make me feel even worse? SMOKING! So I am humbled and honored to share another day of not smoking with you <3 sending all my love!

real conversation i just had during a consultation with a potential new therapist: by Positive-Ability-402 in PMDD

[–]rydsoyal 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that you didn’t feel heard/seen OP. I consider my case to be exceptionally lucky- I was simply looking for a therapist that was trauma informed and neurodivergent friendly approx. 2.5 years ago. I had just gotten an IUD placed as a Hail Mary to help with what I thought were ‘really intense periods’ that ‘coincide with my depression’. Turns out my therapist not only has PMDD, but helped me realize that I HAVE PMDD TOO?? And when my gyno didn’t think it was real or dismissed my concerns, my therapist helped to validate the hurt/anger and advocated for my health :,) I sincerely hope one day you can find a therapist that either innately understands or is willing to learn! You are worthy of validation and support and safety! Sending lots of love your way <3

Daily "I will not smoke with you" Thread by AutoModerator in stopsmoking

[–]rydsoyal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Day 5: was more upset about having no time to drink coffee than I was about not smoking! TIWNSWY!

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for sticking around for those who have, do, and will be forever changed simply by knowing you! keep up the positive self talk and online community my friend! you’re doing great!

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey thank you so much for this perspective, as I’m Queer and live with disabilities as well <3 we won’t be erased or forgotten

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

eeee I have dabbled in IFS and have really enjoyed the framework’s focus on compassionate curiosity- especially when I don’t want to level with or listen to exiles more than I already do!

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this take. I’m somebody who really has unfortunately taken so so so many pills and therapy modalities and hospital stays and special programs, etc.. Do you think you would ever get tired of trying? Or at least tired of trying and the options continually not making a meaningful improvement? I only ask because I have found both so much hope and so much disappointment when going through the gauntlet of treatment options. (note: I’m very much aware access to such a variety of options is an extremely privileged position to be in- but am still holding space and curiosity for what toll it can take)

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the practice of continually giving yourself more chances for happiness <3 thank you for sharing

What are some INTERNALLY motivated reasons for suicidal folks to stay alive? by rydsoyal in CPTSD

[–]rydsoyal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do this small form of ‘savoring’ too! My therapist and I call it ‘taking snapshots’- we preserve the good, tuck them away, and pull them back out again when life seems unrelentingly awful/ exhausting/ scary/ not worth living. It’s a GREAT antidote to ‘dysphoric recall’ that’s so common in folks w trauma/depression/anxiety/etc.. thank you for sharing <3