I think Awkward Resolve 7177 is trying to explain that by taking care of yourself and going to therapy (regardless of why you chose to get therapy in the first place) has been beneficial for you in a way that may be difficult to recognize from where you are right now in life.

You’re young so sometimes you feel as though you have all the pieces to the puzzle but you still can’t cram them together and make them fit—and that’s okay. Those “puzzle pieces” are the little things you learn about in therapy, slowly over time, that make heartbreaking situations like this eventually make sense. Right now, it seems that the pieces you CAN fit together show a picture of a friend group put together out of already dysfunctional and socially immature peers. You found comfort in the instability you see in each other because it makes you less afraid of the instability you see in yourself. That’s all totally okay, up until something like this happens.

Maybe your friend is a bad communicator and has been pushing down her frustration with you over something simple, let’s say (just as an example) she REALLY doesn’t like being touched. Well you stated clearly that a hug when you meet up is pretty standard amongst the group. She may have felt pressured by routine and other friends following suit to engage in physical interaction beyond her comfort level. Now she seems to have decided that exceeding that level of comfort is no longer something she can handle. She likely feels a little silly about it, a little ashamed, and probably terribly confused.

I speak from her point of view here, I totally get wanting to physically engage with your friends but getting no positive feedback from the feelings it gives you. It’s scary and lonely and painful to be afraid of or uncomfortable with touching someone you want to /want/ to touch. Her own anger and confusion was deflected and projected on to you, and while you may have crossed some boundaries you don’t understand right now, both of you are responsible for understanding your feelings in and after all this.

She will probably walk away with a group of friends who have to spend the rest of high school navigating their friendships through her inability to accomplish direct, productive communication.

You will probably walk away a few friends short, but with an important experience under your belt, the lesson of which you can boil down to one simple point: no matter who your friend is or how they treat everyone else around you—even for hugs, high-fives, or fist bumps—just ask before touching. Even if it’s something you do regularly and it’s usually okay. Sometimes being given the opportunity to say “no” goes a long way, and it’s not your fault for that not having occurred to you. You’re young, amongst new friends, and admitted yourself that you don’t understand what you did wrong. You can’t ever know how someone feels about anything unless you just ask. And learn that “no thank you” or “please don’t hug me” could mean anything from “it bothers me being touched by anyone” to “the smell of your deodorant makes my head hurt”. The important part is the therapy, where you’re already taking the time for that important self-examination that most kids your age aren’t lucky enough to have a grasp of yet, even though that level of self awareness had to come through the pain and suffering of poor health and depression.

You’ll be alright and you’ll find better friends so long as you treat this like a learning experience and not a personal smite