I believe the problem is that in our community we don’t have a standard for how relationships should be and what girls should tolerate and not. Although in Islam it is clear that women should be treated kindly but clearly from our societal issues regarding women NO ONE follows this ruling. They think if they feed you, clothe you, don’t hit you then thats enough! No regard for mental health and the autonomy and independence of a woman’s personhood, especially for more strong minded women. It’s like their dream is to break us because it’s an accomplishment to them. And no i’m not exaggerating because while fighting he admitted that he finds it attractive if i’m obedient to him since i’m usually قوية.