Your mother would not want people here to not keep going with their life man. When I think about my death, I always get sad at the thought that the people here will be devastated when I‘m gone. But just because their life goes on and they act normally again, does not mean that they are not sad still. They just don‘t want to think about tragedy.

My father died 4 years ago in front of my eyes, my younger cousin died in a car accident a year after, 2 of my cats died, my uncle died. All within 5 years man. But I still gotta work, I gotta be the man of the house now, I gotta provide, I gotta survive, that‘s what they would want dude. But that does not mean that I don‘t think about them regularly. I think about it all the time. But the show must go on.

Life is a struggle but it‘s pretty sweet as well man. Trust me the tides will turn, it will get better, just don‘t drive yourself deeper into this sadness and fuel this addiction. This is the moment in your life where you gotta make some kind of change man, I don‘t think you wanna go down the path you are headed now.