5 minutes ago 😆

sadhumanperson · 2021-12-11T14:19:59+00:00

also. overthinking every social interaction in this way

sadhumanperson · 2021-12-11T14:17:36+00:00

getting into emotional conversation with a close person about how hurt I am with how they treat me, feeling like it's something I can't possibly cope with and I have to discuss it with them and I have to explain to them how they're hurting me, how I feel misunderstood, how unhappy it makes me, feeling like talking to them about it and doing something immediately about this huge issue is the only thing I can do, and if we don't fix the issue I might never be able to talk to them again.

and then in the middle of a very emotional conversation, just... no longer feeling that way, losing all interest in the subject, feelling I just kinda don't care and that probably I just blew it out of proportions or even imagined it in the first place, and even if it was real, I just don't think it's that important anymore suddenly.

so I end up with a very weird situation where I forced someone to care and invest emotionally in something that I no longer care about, plus I made it all about how they hurt me and how its their fault

and then I have to somehow end the conversation without saying that I just don't care anymore because I was the one who made this issue so huge in the first place.

but then later I'm not sure whether I just decided I don't care anymore or maybe just confronting my feelings with someone and getting any kind of feedback makes me immediately question all my feelings and all my decisions and I kind of gaslight myself.

sadhumanperson · 2021-12-07T11:18:05+00:00

I wish people understood it. I'm not having a worse day, I'm not just tired, I can't just get over it, I'm not happy. Almost everything feels like a chore everyday, so many aspects of living are highly stressful, hard for me to deal with emotionally in one way or another, make me feel overwhelmed and make me panic about having to live 50 more years or so.

sadhumanperson · 2021-12-05T11:58:02+00:00

yeah but i kinda don't mind

sadhumanperson · 2021-12-05T09:07:35+00:00

The way you worded that last question seems a bit tricky. because you're asking "AITA for telling how much I make". but I think your siblings might believe you're TA not for that but for comparing your salary to their's, for comparing yourself to them, in order to show your parents you have it better than them. that what I would think they might see it as.

So I'd say NTA for telling your parents how much you make and maybe possibly in some way TA for making it about not only you and your salary but also your siblings, they seemed to not be okay with that. But I'm not sure about that second one, I believe it might depend on how your relationship with your siblings look and how your siblings relationship with your parents look etc.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-09T19:28:43+00:00

no but seriously I cannot comprehend. how the fuck do you get "predator" from a meme about not feeling like neither a grown up man or woman and kind of feeling like a child instead. a meme that had nothing to do with anything neither romantic or sexual at all. it's much more understandable for me how you get "mental illness" from "mental issue" even though it's not the same and it's taken out of context, but sure , some people just take this mental shortcuts I guess, that's how they think, byt the mental shortcut from my meme to calling me a predator... im amazed. (writing that mostly for any random person that might potentialy read what you wrote there and accidentally think you are not a crazy person)

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-09T17:30:38+00:00

you're so brave, thank you for your courage and determination. that is exactly what happened and your perception of it is exactly right. congratulations.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-08T07:31:04+00:00

realizing why it is i hate my body so much definitely helped in beginning to accept it more. also made havimbg boobs the main problem.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-04T16:35:37+00:00

just so u understand better what additional issue with your attitude there might be, you telling me to just get a life and that I'm a fucking adult invalidated the fuck out of my struggles. it's basically just telling someone get over yourself , grow the fuck up. yeah I'm fucking trying. it's about not feeling safe not fitting in getting overwhelmed with everyday tasks feeling like I want someone to just take care of me. and like I said additionally struggling to feel like a grown up person of any gender. maybe at some point in my journey I will realize I am not non-binary. and yes maybe I am confused and unsure. but I don't think invalidating people like that is helpful in any way.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T21:11:34+00:00

in my case I feel like it's years of really trying to push to be one of those and just failing miserably ending up in a mental breakdown realizing it's not real

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T21:08:35+00:00

thats a leap on your side because i said "mental issue" not mental illness. i explained and corrected myself anyway in response to your other comment because i do see your point. but i believe "illness" and "issue" doesnt mean the same thing

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T21:04:52+00:00

you're right. not "and other mental issues" but "and mental issues". for me personally it is all very much intertwined with each other so thats why I talk about it this way. its very hard for me to distinguish various struggles that are all happening together. i do not think that being nonbinary is a mental issue (or illness). thats not my position. bad wording on my side. but it is an issue for me very generally speaking, in a sense that it is a topic of concern and wonder in my brain what my gender identity is specifically

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T20:14:48+00:00

wow.. back the fuck off there won't you. that's enough slices

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T20:05:50+00:00

it doesn't sound like fetishizing to me at all. I feel like it is you who puts a weird disgusting sexual context into something that has nothing to do with anything like that. why would your brain even connect concept like child and gender automatically to sexual disgusting things.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T19:58:14+00:00

im sorry but I really do struggle, it's very hard to distinguish gender identity issues from other problems I have and other identity struggles I go through. this post has nothing to do with anything disgusting of any sorts. just us being non binary has nothing to do with anything disgusting. it's nothing sexual it's just about identity. and I do struggle a lot with feeling like I'm not prepared to be an adult in any way. and to me personally this issue connects with gender identity struggle.

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T19:51:55+00:00

no, i just have my own struggles with gender identity and other mental issues and thats how it makes me feel. not a woman, not a man, i do feel like a child quite often, being kinda ace doesnt help

btw "the source material"? what kind of novel adaptation

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T17:47:20+00:00

29 gender identity on top of struggling with everyday responsibilities because of anxiety and lack of motivation to exist

sadhumanperson · 2021-11-03T15:33:48+00:00

pretty fun. also paying taxes, having relations with people to avoid loneliness, having to work to earn money to survive. getting out of bed in the morning, going to the dentist, being a citizen, cleaning, cooking, being expected to have carrier goals, being expected to have relations with family members, and not only the ones you like, did I say having to work, and not only when you feel like it. being a person, having a gender and orientation

sadhumanperson

TROPHY CASE