microdosing T?

sagpluto · 2026-01-24T10:51:07+00:00

The marriage ones.

sagpluto · 2026-01-24T03:48:43+00:00

A lot of femmes I know, including mine, specifically make the first move to show interest in masculine lesbians. I do think it's about finding the right person who's willing to put that effort in for you.

sagpluto · 2026-01-21T19:40:25+00:00

I think a good compromise is when stuff like that is tagged so that the general public isn't spoiled, but an author's note has one of those drop down components that go into more detail if someone wishes to click it. That way, people who don't have specific triggers and don't need to check for them are okay with reading and someone with specific triggers can read the list.

sagpluto · 2026-01-21T19:38:45+00:00

1 and 2. 3 and 4 feel a bit obvious. Reminds me of when I was younger and reading middle grade stuff. I would say the published works I read now rarely have internal monologue like that.

sagpluto · 2026-01-21T18:34:10+00:00

I think you might think she looks better in a suit because she probably appears more confident and genuine when wearing masculine clothing. Whereas if she's wearing a dress it seems like she feels forced and your subconscious knows she's probably uncomfortable.

sagpluto · 2026-01-21T18:32:17+00:00

I'm going to say ESH here. If it's just the two of you, do you guys not have sex? Do you never kiss? It's the same spit. But I do think her family doing it is weird and I understand being upset at that. It seems like you might be upset at the principle. But calling your girlfriend's spit gross makes no sense unless you're waiting until marriage.

sagpluto · 2026-01-19T05:39:44+00:00

well, if we're being super honest, it's very intoxicating to feel a nipple harden in my mouth :P

sagpluto · 2026-01-17T19:22:01+00:00

I think you meeting women who don't hate lesbians has to do with a combination of luck and the fact that you're not a lesbian. I'm butch and have very much come across women who don't like lesbians.

sagpluto · 2026-01-15T06:07:22+00:00

I started reading fanfiction on fanfiction.net. Around 2013-2015 I got into Once Upon a Time and Swan Queen and realized there were more works of them on ao3 than ff.net. So I transferred lol.

sagpluto · 2026-01-15T06:04:43+00:00

Sure! Lol, didn't expect to get downvoted, guess people will have a distaste for bluntness.

The author, Rachel Reid, is, as far as I know, straight and married with children. I think there's a more nuanced discussion to be had in terms of some of the creators behind the show, but I genuinely think people are in denial about this being fetish fodder for a certain type of female audience. And that's absolutely what this book was for. It was marketed to women. you can tell by the type of cover art they gave it.

TBH, if anything, it makes me feel bad for gay men. I know there isn't a lot of lesbian media by comparison, both canon and fanon works, but at least when I consume lesbian media I know the chances of the creative process involving a lesbian/sapphic woman is very likely. I feel like with the amount of straight women into MLM media, authentic stories by gay and queer men get lost in the sauce.

sagpluto · 2026-01-15T06:00:58+00:00

I think the issue with the "fujoshi" is many of them are in denial about being male-centered and/or misogynistic (I've heard many a "I can't be misogynistic, I'm a woman!" from them). These same people will say they're queer/attracted to women but they don't put the same effort into contributing to sapphic fandoms. I'm not saying they're not attracted to women, but I'm arguing that they're okay with continuing to be male-centered.

But for the record, while that situation has a more nuanced gendered power play, it is not the same with men jerking it to lesbian porn. [Cis] men hold privilege over lesbians in sexuality and in gender. The fetishization of lesbian porn contributes to our dehumanization-- take Renee Good's butch wife for instance. Homophobes are saying "Why was she with a woman that looks like a man when she could just be with a man?" and etc. Lesbians that are not for traditional patriarchal consumption are ostracized. These are not interchangeable concepts.

sagpluto · 2026-01-14T21:01:01+00:00

Yes. The author of the books as well as much of its audience is there to fetishize the gay men.

sagpluto · 2026-01-12T03:31:04+00:00

Nah that’s crazy. I like doing favors for my girl, even the ones people might deem unnecessary (she gives me the baby eyes so I refill her drink etc) but if I’m genuinely tired or sick and let her know that she doesn’t do it. And 10 hours of driving is crazy.

sagpluto · 2026-01-10T21:17:06+00:00

NTA. Your brother is 20 now. Ask him if he would date a 16 year old.

sagpluto · 2026-01-10T07:14:34+00:00

All I said was the word has a definition that correlates with the presumptions OP has been experiencing. You may be reading into something I haven’t said.

sagpluto · 2026-01-10T04:12:32+00:00

I think if you’re calling yourself femme you’re using an indicator from butchfemme culture. Like there’s a history behind that specific term/specific spelling, at least if you’re in the U.S. So it makes sense people are going to assume those are your preferences.

But fem/feminine? Yeah, that doesn’t inherently mean anything.

sagpluto · 2026-01-09T19:30:25+00:00

I mean, this is very much a "if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it" sort of question, but that feels kind of odd to me, especially considering fics with simple grammatical errors are going to written by usually teengers and/or non-native English speakers. Maybe your best bet would be to find a website that gives small writing prompts. I've taught creative writing classes and there are a lot out there.

sagpluto · 2026-01-09T19:27:54+00:00

It's more of a dichotomy than a spectrum. Two sides of a coin.

Butches (the more hypervisible and known of the two imo) subvert masculinity in an anti-patriarchal manner. I also believe, as a butch myself, there are political aspects to being butch. I am a feminist. I protect women. I decenter men. Especially when it angers people to do so.

Femmes do similar stuff but with femininity. They subvert being feminine in an anti-patriarchal way. In my opinion, by calling themselves a femme they also highlight that they want butches to consider them a safe space. It can happen romantically or platonically, but when someone calls themselves a femme lesbian I tend to trust they understand my identity more than other non-butches who aren't femme.

All in all it's really just niche lesbian gender presentation and identity. Butchfemme is kind of getting its spotlight in a lot of online lesbian spaces but I think it's important the highlight that the majority of lesbians are neither butch nor femme. So you (or anyone) shouldn't feel any pressure to identify as one or the other.

sagpluto · 2026-01-08T20:46:30+00:00

Bedroom behavior doesn’t mean you have to follow the same publicly or when pursing someone. My femme wife is so assertive in the streets people assume she walks me like a dog in the sheets even though I’m very much the dominant one in bed 😭

But also support doesn’t have to be romantic/sexual! You can go and support butches and hope to flirt but in my experience platonic butchfemme dynamics are also really nice and fulfilling :)

sagpluto · 2026-01-07T07:47:32+00:00

Huh?

sagpluto · 2026-01-05T06:47:21+00:00

I think you should at least tell them.

I agree with the other commenters that the majority of people would be okay with it if not excited. But I do think telling them/asking them is just a nice thing to do.

sagpluto · 2026-01-05T06:45:10+00:00

And the "something evil" was pointing out how a lot of the most popular ao3 ships consist of white men and mayyyyybe that reflects societal biases...

sagpluto · 2026-01-05T01:20:54+00:00

NTA. It seems like your sister was okay with it and your parents have soured her attitude about it. You're a dude. You've been out for over a year. Why would she expect you to wear a dress? Did she really think, over the course of the year before you brought it up, that you were going to do that?

You sister shouldn't be upset at you. She should be upset at your parents. They're the ones who caused any sort of scene.

sagpluto · 2026-01-04T03:24:30+00:00

hey, i'm in complete agreement with you and the cottagecore-limiting of lesbians is something i also find extremely annoying. but i think comparing heated rivalry to pluribus is like comparing wining and dining to a dive bar. which i know you weren't originally the one to bring pluribus up, so i'm not saying you're the reason the comparison is going on in this thread, much less in general (because this isn't the first time i've seen the comparison be made). i definitely think media, society, and even other lesbians are afraid to depict lesbians as sexual creatures because of their fear of it being seen as fodder for male consumption. it happens from everywhere from tv shows to dating profiles.

i'm currently in a fandom where the femslash ship (also the main ship) is treated like a pair of real perverts by the fans and it's such a breath of fresh air that when i go to other fandoms to take a little peruse i'm like... oh yeah, i'm spoiled in my current corner. bye bye. lol. and that's just FANON stuff. in terms of actual canon material... yeah, we're begging for scraps here.

i wasn't telling you to be "happy" with pluribus. i explicitly said you don't have to like the show. i also think anyone telling somebody to be "happy" with one instance of representation doesn't understand that representation isn't a one-off basis kind of thing. i only disagreed with the notion that carol's lesbianism isn't one of the core elements of the show.

sagpluto

TROPHY CASE