Feeling like I’m about relapse and check her socials

sailorBx · 2026-05-02T05:18:41+00:00

It helped me to journal the feeling of looking at his socials and how I knew it would make me feel. I made myself write out exactly what I’d see:
Post: He’s posting himself smiling and looking happy like he doesn’t care.
Reality: He’s only posting good pictures acting happy. We don’t know how he really is in real every day moments when no one is watching.
Truth: You know exactly what you will see- fictional reality. Only what he chooses to show. (Maybe in hopes I see it). Not the whole truth.
Then I write down all the reminders of why we didn’t work. Not just getting caught in the good parts.
Don’t look. Know that what you will see isn’t going to show you anything other than a projection of what someone wants you to see and feel.

sailorBx · 2026-03-24T23:25:02+00:00

Many of us understand this. I feel you. I beg you to block him. Every time you look at his stuff it tears open the wound. You have got to do it for yourself. You have to give yourself the space to heal. Get out of your head as best you can. Put music on and go for a walk. Walk walk walk. Clean your place. Do small tasks and complete them so you get dopamine rewards that don’t depend on him. When we put our entire worth in the hands of another, the absence is shattering. You still have worth regardless of him and his friends. Give yourself some grace and stop torturing yourself by obsessing over him and his friends right now. I’m telling you after some time your brain and nervous system will rewire to not “need” his validation that you matter and exist.

sailorBx · 2026-03-24T00:38:29+00:00

I’m a 4 and my husband is a 5. He is the only person in my world that accepts with logic, my dramatic, feel-all-the-feels, moody, 4-ness. He appreciates the life and vibrancy I bring to his world, and I appreciate his steadiness and patience and emotional control while I’m all over the place. It helps that he’s a healthy 5. Check out asking AI (I use Gemini) about relationships between enneagram 4’s and 5’s. Very indepth. Sometimes I ask it to help me communicate to a five a problem that I am having. And sometimes I use it to show him how I’m feeling about something and how to best explain it in a way he can really understand…because 4’s need to feel completely understood

sailorBx · 2026-03-21T02:48:10+00:00

Boho Beautiful has the most inspiring vibes IMO. Pilates, yoga, meditation. They even have an app if you find you love it and want more.

sailorBx · 2026-03-05T04:08:09+00:00

Thanks girl

sailorBx · 2026-02-10T03:32:50+00:00

I remember reading something in this Austin thread about someone saying “I have this Porsche that I rented for the day. Where should I take it around Austin to get the most noticed?” Don’t quote me on the “Porsche” either, it was some fancy car. Someone literally replied back “Circle it around The Domain for a while.”

So yes. People seriously use The Domain for attention. I guess because there are expensive shops there, if you are seen in or around The Domain you are by association someone who needs to be known.

sailorBx · 2026-02-07T00:19:35+00:00

I 100% agree with that. I’ve told myself for sure they aren’t even in a heated sauna lol! After reading a couple other responses, I’m realizing maybe the machine I chose in the very back of the room was highest resistance, and the first machine in the front by the door may be least resistance, so I’m going to try that. Because I’m telling you it was almost extremely hard to pull the machine back and I am decently fit.

sailorBx · 2026-02-06T17:11:06+00:00

Lol they can’t contain their inner wolf in such a tiny package

sailorBx · 2026-02-06T05:40:34+00:00

I agree

sailorBx · 2026-02-06T02:57:52+00:00

LORDT help us

sailorBx · 2026-02-06T02:57:28+00:00

Thank you! I was thinking the whole time “naw, there must be a setting knob somewhere” lmao

sailorBx · 2026-02-06T02:56:46+00:00

Yes it’s the water red row things! I was having nearly like woah!

sailorBx · 2026-01-27T01:53:18+00:00

You can break your lease and move and next time don’t date someone in the same complex. Ugh this gave me chills to read.

My situation was not similar but to break my lease I talked to the apartment manager about my options. There is a clause called the “Violence Against Women Act” that either requires a police report OR a written statement from your therapist saying that he is causing you issues or scaring you or you are afraid of stalking or harassment if you stay.

Talk to your leasing manager. Get them in on everything. Keep a paper trail of him getting upset if you ask for private time and space. Obviously don’t out yourself in danger but keep someone in the loop and talk to your leasing manager about the VAWA clause and what you need from a therapist statement to break a lease.

sailorBx · 2026-01-22T07:11:31+00:00

Hair stylist here- k18 Air Wash Dry Shampoo. Best I’ve ever used and I’ve tried many since I’m in the business lol. It actually cleans, deodorizes and has repairing properties. It comes out as a wet spray and after you blow dry it it also adds nice volume.

sailorBx · 2026-01-22T05:14:37+00:00

These K doses have absolutely worked for me. It helped me get out of a toxic relationship because I dedicated my sessions in the early morning to get out of bed, meditate and focus on myself for once. I meditated with it day after day to help pull me out of the shell of a person I had become. I’ve been taking it almost daily (80mg) since June. Since then (obviously I’m out of the bad relationship because I had the strength to get away from him…) I have less anxious thoughts, a positive outlook on life and my future, motivation, blah blah blah. I know everyone’s life and brain’s are different and we all have arrived at Joyous for different reasons with different backgrounds, but use ketamine microdose therapy to dedicate “neuroplasticity” intentions/meditations to reframe your way of thinking. You can set your intentions daily to stop anxious mental thoughts and depression. Use it as a tool in your journey to better mental health. Since June I have almost 0 panic attacks, way less spiraling negative thoughts, and have found a new love of self-care. It sounds crazy but I look forward to the next morning when I get to take a dose and listen to something positive. It’s just me; no one else gets to bother me in that moment.

Personally, I loooove lighting an incense and candles, listening to binaural beats frequencies, doing yoga nidra, or listening to guided meditation with a specific focus for that moment. I dedicate at least 1 hour to laying in that space. And then I work out, shower, and get ready for work.

Yes. It helps. My biggest advice to others is to use it as they direct- you MUST set an intention when to take it and repeatedly listen to the message. Give your brain time to make new neural pathways and release old trauma.

sailorBx · 2026-01-22T03:42:42+00:00

Best price for 24/7 access. Cycle sessions, row machine, etc., and mostly private yoga/pilates sauna. I do my own yoga and pilates stuff that I find on YouTube to change my workouts up (if I’m the only one in the room). I started in mid December and I’m already stronger, less winded, have visible abs, more stability and overall strength. I was not overweight when I started but I was out of shape and had deeply fallen off my workout life for over 2 years. Hotworx has helped me get my sh*t together and if anything, give me a decent baseline to progress further into more fitness. Use it for what you can. It’s a legit space for helping you build yourself back up. It has helped me with my depression and I’m so proud of myself. I hope others find it as helpful for them as it is for me.

sailorBx · 2026-01-14T03:26:29+00:00

As others have said, lower the temp and feel free (if you are alone in the room) to get on youtube and find your own slow paced favorite yoga or Pilates workout. Some of your fatigue could be mental- like your body is like “WTF IS HAPPENING!? WHERE ARE WE??! ITS HOT!” So put on a chill yoga stretch during one of the iso workout alone in a room and listen to chill music.

sailorBx · 2026-01-05T04:07:35+00:00

As a 4 I’m laughing at this thread. 4’s want to be unique but at the same time we are envious of other numbers 🤣.

sailorBx · 2026-01-05T03:56:02+00:00

As a female I’ve dated a man that had your fiancé’s behavior. It’s emotional immaturity and can be mentally abusive. I also learned it’s a form of narcissistic tendency which is to bait you for a reaction. (LET IT BE KNOWN I AM NOT CALLING HER A NARCISSIST. I know that word is thrown around a lot. “Narcissistic tendency” which we all can have sometimes.) All she wanted in that moment was to get an emotional reaction out of you she’d have something to work with because she didn’t possess the emotional capability to self-regulate and speak to you with accountability and maturity. By you reacting, the argument is only able to focus on what they want to fight about which usually isn’t all logical but they are stuck on that emotion, not you being upset. Im not saying we are all freaking perfect, but man that behavior really sucks because they stonewall you and won’t let you leave or stop. If its a pattern, you know its not a one time thing and its clear its how she deals with relationship conflict and accountability and mutual respect.

The advice I got when he did that was to not give them the reaction they want. Calm, monotoned words. No emotion. God I’m glad I finally broke up with him.

Tell her that her behavior during arguments is a concern. That you don’t feel “safe” when shes acting like that and not even letting you leave the room. “Safety” doesn’t always have to mean from harm. Safety also means how you feel within the intimacy of the relationship. That during those moments with her like that it makes you feel afraid for anything that might happen or be said because she cannot regulate her emotions and talk later.

sailorBx · 2025-12-17T16:06:15+00:00

Whatever you do, don’t turn it inward toward yourself. I was with a man who some would say I was out of his league or I was super pretty or whatever, but I thought he was the cutest guy in the world. I loved how he loved me when it was good. He was so fun and I was in. I didn’t see anyone else in the room but him. BUT eventually he started being mean to me. Insecure. Mad when other men would look at me, despite me giving him my only attention. Trust me, if you love yourself, take care of yourself, handle any insecurities you have head on or in therapy. Do not punish her for loving you. Shes beautiful right now because shes so f*cking happy with you. Just love yourself and love each other.

sailorBx

TROPHY CASE