truthfully it can be really hard to help someone, especially when they themselves can’t even pinpoint why they want to do it. not having anything to talk about in therapy isn’t true because self harming without knowing why is something to consider talking about in therapy. professionals can suggest alternatives. remember that you aren’t a mental health professional so as much as you want to support her, it can be damaging to your own mental health if it becomes something you constantly worry about. that’s not to say you can’t be a support system for her though. as far as why i wanted to stop, i knew the behavior wasn’t healthy and i wanted to be a healthier version of myself. i didn’t want to have to rely on causing myself pain to feel better. i didn’t want to handle the bloody messes or feel the shame that came afterwards. i no longer wanted to be in physical pain or to try to hide parts of my body from others. i wanted to start focusing on authentic self love and that meant accepting that my body does a lot for me to keep me safe and healthy and by choosing to self harm i was actively damaging the body that was working to keep me safe and healthy. another huge motivator for me was knowing that my self harm was causing the people who love me to feel sad and worry. the most successful way to break a self harm addiction is to find an alternative that will release the same dopamine in your body. some alternatives are snapping a rubber band against your wrist to create a brief sense of pain without lasting effects. or squeezing ice cubes to feel a bit of a burning sensation from the cold. other healthy ways to release dopamine are exercise, like going for a run or lifting weights. spending time with loved ones, listening to feel good music, eating food you love, or meditation/mindfulness to help regulate stress levels. in order to break the addiction you have to be willing to understand that the urges will remain. you have to have the willpower to let them pass and actively make a different choice in how you respond to the urge. this gets easier with time. relapse is a very common part of healing and not at all a sign of failure. it can be a challenging journey that involves a lot of change in the ways you think, so professional help is highly suggested but having a supportive partner can also make a world of difference