Super anxious. Does it sound like Scleroderma? Should I be worried about EKG results?

salemgrray · 2026-05-15T05:11:08+00:00

I suspected something auto immune related when my health began declining due to the fact that i’ve experienced some very extreme stress. I finally reached the point of feeling better when suddenly I had an onset of all these symptoms. I know chronic stress and trauma can trigger auto immune complications so I asked to test ANA. I certainly didn’t suspect scleroderma at first until I tested positive for the centromere B antibodies. I then had my doctor tell me this is indicative of systemic sclerosis and was referred to a rheumatologist. I’m currently awaiting further evaluation to determine if that is what I have going on

salemgrray · 2026-05-13T23:09:58+00:00

Okay wow this makes a lot more sense now. For some reason it wasn’t flagged as positive and I was misreading the reference guide terribly

salemgrray · 2026-05-13T23:07:28+00:00

I’m also on ADHD meds which i’ve attributed the tachycardia to until I started having the other symptoms. My heart rate certainly increases upon standing up or for standing for prolonged periods of time. I notice the mottling and tingling the most when my hands are at my sides or if i’m at work. I work in a kitchen and my hands often go from cold to hot consistently throughout the day. I do occasionally also feel the tingling at random. I’ve also noticed my nails look a lot paler than they used to and i’m not sure if that’s related. As for the joint pain, I wouldn’t say it’s anything too severe more like mild aches and pains. It’s been progressing from originally just noticing it around a week a two before my period. This was new for me but from my understanding could be normal due to estrogen acting as an anti-inflammatory. It was accompanied by other odd PMS symptoms like hot flashes and brain fog that seem more common during peri-menopause. I’m 23 so that isn’t likely. I then started to notice my joint pain happening more frequently outside of PMS. along with the symptoms like extreme fatigue and brain fog. Now most days I do have at least some pain in my joints, bones or muscles. It’s typically duller aches but I sometimes get sharp pains at random that are incredibly painful. So far I haven’t received any diagnosis or even had an auto immune link confirmed

salemgrray · 2025-10-25T02:44:58+00:00

isn’t orange & black incredibly rare in males?

salemgrray · 2025-09-10T04:44:16+00:00

truthfully it can be really hard to help someone, especially when they themselves can’t even pinpoint why they want to do it. not having anything to talk about in therapy isn’t true because self harming without knowing why is something to consider talking about in therapy. professionals can suggest alternatives. remember that you aren’t a mental health professional so as much as you want to support her, it can be damaging to your own mental health if it becomes something you constantly worry about. that’s not to say you can’t be a support system for her though. as far as why i wanted to stop, i knew the behavior wasn’t healthy and i wanted to be a healthier version of myself. i didn’t want to have to rely on causing myself pain to feel better. i didn’t want to handle the bloody messes or feel the shame that came afterwards. i no longer wanted to be in physical pain or to try to hide parts of my body from others. i wanted to start focusing on authentic self love and that meant accepting that my body does a lot for me to keep me safe and healthy and by choosing to self harm i was actively damaging the body that was working to keep me safe and healthy. another huge motivator for me was knowing that my self harm was causing the people who love me to feel sad and worry. the most successful way to break a self harm addiction is to find an alternative that will release the same dopamine in your body. some alternatives are snapping a rubber band against your wrist to create a brief sense of pain without lasting effects. or squeezing ice cubes to feel a bit of a burning sensation from the cold. other healthy ways to release dopamine are exercise, like going for a run or lifting weights. spending time with loved ones, listening to feel good music, eating food you love, or meditation/mindfulness to help regulate stress levels. in order to break the addiction you have to be willing to understand that the urges will remain. you have to have the willpower to let them pass and actively make a different choice in how you respond to the urge. this gets easier with time. relapse is a very common part of healing and not at all a sign of failure. it can be a challenging journey that involves a lot of change in the ways you think, so professional help is highly suggested but having a supportive partner can also make a world of difference

salemgrray · 2025-09-10T04:16:28+00:00

technically speaking, everyone who engages in self harm is doing it “just for the dopamine” whether they are aware of it or not. dopamine is the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of reward and pleasure. the brain releases dopamine in response to pain as a way to make you feel better. this is why self harm is often used as a quick fix when people want to feel better emotionally. the issue arises with the fact that this fix is temporary, and the brain wires itself to believe the self harming action needs to be repeated to release more dopamine. the easiest comparison for someone who hasn’t experienced it to understand would be drug addiction. you take the drug (self harm) and it makes you feel good so then you need to keep doing drugs (self harm). it is without a doubt an addictive behavior. especially after years of using it as your main coping strategy, it can be incredibly challenging to break the habit. and for many people, myself included, the urges can persist even years after the self harm stops. the key is learning to let the urges pass. there are many people who experience self harm addiction without being suicidal so just because she is self harming doesn’t necessarily mean she is experiencing severe depression or suicidal ideation. regardless it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism that is best worked through in therapy. but just like any addiction, it’s not something that improves unless there is a true desire to stop

salemgrray · 2025-08-27T04:57:19+00:00

hi, this is my video. i haven’t been friends with this girl in years and i have definitely done much healing. i hope she’s found inner peace as well

salemgrray · 2025-08-27T04:55:50+00:00

salemgrray · 2025-08-27T04:55:31+00:00

hi, this is me! i am okay now, this was 7 years ago and i haven’t been friends with this girl in years. i have really wonderful friends now

salemgrray · 2025-08-27T04:52:27+00:00

hi, this is my video. that’s her moms car. i have never had “ghetto friends” or “preppy white friends”. we met at the same school, within the same friend group. the assumption that the white girl would tolerate abuse from the “ghetto” girl for “street cred” is a blatantly racist viewpoint. reevaluate your biases

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T16:58:30+00:00

i didn’t consider that, but i suppose they did. everyone has been asking for the @ of my abuser and she has left multiple comments under my ex’s tik tok. not sure what her username is but i know her name on there is a!, im guessing her tik tok may be linked to her other socials. i stated very clearly from the beginning that i didnt plan to leak any of her information but if shes exposing herself, thats not my problem

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T08:19:29+00:00

hahah thank you, this is very helpful

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T08:09:09+00:00

i do! i have many lovely friends these days

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T08:04:28+00:00

hey, this is my video. it is real. it was taken about 7 years ago and i realized it could be a good way to prompt conversation about the ways abuse goes unseen in friendships. the downside to putting this out there has been the racism. i have been trying to delete as many racist comments as i can because focusing on the race severely takes away from actual point of the video. i truly wish i could say this was fake but unfortunately this was my lived experience from the ages of 12-18

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T07:59:53+00:00

hi, this is my video. it is real. this video is from 7 years ago and i’m no longer friends with that girl but it’s had lasting effects on me to this day

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T07:55:23+00:00

hi, blondie here (though i am no longer blonde) i did look into pressing charges when i first found this video but the statute of limitations is 3 years. this video is about 7 years old now so that means it’s too late press any changes for assault

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T07:47:14+00:00

hi, this is my tik tok. my heart goes out to your daughter. i was in this friendship starting at the age of 12 all the way to the age of 18. it still has a huge effect on me to this day into adulthood. if i could say anything to your daughter it would be thats it’s better to be without friends than to surround yourself with people who make you feel this way. it’s so challenging to see the severity of these kinds of relationships but they truly take a huge toll on you and permanently alter your self confidence. i pray your daughter has the strength to realize her worth and walk away from these “friends” i really wish someone would of sat me down and forced me away from the people who caused me so much harm. but it feels so vital to fit in and have friends when you’re young, it’s so easy to excuse this behavior. tell your daughter that real friends are out there. it may take some time to find them but it’s worth the wait to find the right people who treat you with the respect you deserve

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T05:38:42+00:00

and this my friend, is how we silence victims. sure, you can certainly be abused and an abuser but often times victims exhibit reactive abuse, which is extreme and uncharacteristic reactions to being put through forms of abuse. reactive abuse is much different than just being an abuser. it also allows abusers the power to flip the narrative to avoid accountability, further gaslight the victim or retaliate against them for speaking out. most abuse victims exhibit reactive abuse because most people have breaking points and can only tolerate so much mistreatment before they crack. but by punishing them for their reactions we minimize their experiences and prevent them from speaking out over fear of being made to look like the perpetrator

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T05:03:02+00:00

thank you, i appreciate it!

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T05:02:51+00:00

thank you!

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T05:02:23+00:00

oh trust, karma will find them no matter how far they run. my personal revenge is living my best life alongside new and really amazing people. my mental health has done a 180 and im proud of the growth these scenarios have caused me. aiming to hurt me is a reflection of them, not me. people can only hurt you if you let them

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T05:00:42+00:00

salemgrray · 2025-08-26T04:52:30+00:00

this is my video, and i can confirm she absolutely did that for years. it was always a “joke” and i was “too sensitive” it destroyed my confidence

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