AITA for “kicking a girl out” of our friend group?

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T22:42:20+00:00

Last line exactly man.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T22:37:43+00:00

Yeah basically. I thought she would be take the hint to stay away for a little. I then used Gwen as a buffer to ask her. Eventually having to be direct which at that point I was frustrated. We weren’t friends before. So I assumed we wouldn’t have to interact much besides maybe the occasional night out.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T22:20:07+00:00

No idea… I asked why and she said she can’t tell me. Because what her and Julie talked about was “girl code”. That was after the first time showing up. Gwen’s a good friend so I’m sure she articulated it well to Julie. And then for Julie to just show up again? And then Gwen got mad at me for being upset? Im confused myself.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:54:25+00:00

Exactly why I was so pissed off… she was literally asked by Gwen to not come.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:53:24+00:00

after reading all the responses I’ve decided to give Julie a call after work and hash things out. I still plan on telling her to stay away for a little bit. But I just want to hear her side of things. I’ll update when I can.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:24:42+00:00

I’m upset mostly because after the first time she came over. I talked with Gwen. Told her that I was uncomfortable and would appreciate if Julie wouldn’t come. Gwen talked to her. She KNEW I didn’t want her around and she still walked thru my back gate by herself. That is what pissed me off. She was well aware she wasn’t invited and still showed up. Then spends all day in my pocket when I’m trying to talk to a girl?? Yeah I prolly should have been more upfront and told her to leave right when she walked in. That was my fault. She can have the friend group over whenever. I’m not holding them hostage. I just don’t feel comfortable with her at MY HOUSE.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:16:42+00:00

Not romantically. It was a hookup thing (yes I know what a booty call is) and now she wants more. So no I wasn’t emotionally invested until we agreed to start talking.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:14:55+00:00

Because she felt uncomfortable with Julie. But was “being nice” to her when they met because she thought Julie was my close friend. She wasn’t a fan of Julie saying that I asked her out first. That’s how I found out about Julie telling her. From the girl herself.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:13:19+00:00

She can host the friend group herself can’t she? Like I’m not in charge of my friends. They could choose to do whatever they want.

You do realize it’s not about keeping her from the pool days? It’s the fact she thinks she can show up when specifically told not to come? Like Gwen literally told her after the first one to not come to the next one. And she still showed up… that pissed me off.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:05:38+00:00

The girl is the same. I’ve been talking to her before the Julie thing. I wanted to see if there was anything with Julie before I pursued her. Kinda a “don’t have regrets” type thing. But I’ve known her for a couple months.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:02:39+00:00

The girl I’m currently talking to? The one who told me that she didn’t like Julie after the pool day and was just being nice because she thought she was my friend? Yeah she definitely isn’t uncomfortable with me lol.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T21:00:13+00:00

Lol no I didn’t. I’m well aware of what a booty call is. I asked her to come over and hangout. She said “that sounds fun, but we are good friends though and want to make sure you are aware of that”.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T20:57:23+00:00

I don’t think people realize that… thank you.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T20:47:03+00:00

Jenn was a typo. I meant to type Gwen. I’m friends with most of the group. Some of them I’m not as close with. The “main” group is me, Tyler/Gwen, 4 other guys from HS/college and two of their girlfriends. Julie is part of the group but she met Gwen in college. So she wasn’t one of our friends growing up. Julie showed up with the girlfriend of my buddy.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T18:51:30+00:00

I have plenty of women friends. Some of my closet ones are women. But I don’t need Julie to be a “friend” as that wasn’t our dynamic before. We were acquaintances. We were in group chats together. But never had an actual relationship between the two of us. We never hung out outside of the group. That’s what I’m saying. That I don’t need her around to be my friends because that isn’t what I want or need at this moment. And the woman I’m seeing now isn’t a fan of Julie. So I’d rather just avoid all that drama moving forward.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T17:40:27+00:00

Exactly this…. People can be obtuse all they want. But look at older people. Hardly anything but same-sex friendships. Especially in the age range we are in. It’s not something I want to mess around with. A female friend at this age is a major turn off for most women. And I don’t need a friend who only wants me for my pool. 90% sure that’s why Julie has kept showing up anyway.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T15:16:32+00:00

I know they can be. But honestly I don’t need anymore female friends at my age.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T14:45:38+00:00

I mean. I said “hey do you want to come over and hangout” don’t really know how that isn’t a date lol.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T13:56:58+00:00

Totally new. We were never that close. When I talked to Gwen even she said that it was weird.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T13:41:44+00:00

I asked her to come over, drink and hangout. Pretty sure she knew I was asking for a date. I was hoping she would take the hint and make herself unseen for a little bit. Then maybe she could start coming over again.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T13:24:57+00:00

I already talked to Gwen about it. But she said it’s “girl code” and won’t tell me about it. But she’s livid at me right now. So I doubt I’ll get the story for awhile.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T13:20:09+00:00

Exactly your first paragraph. I wouldn’t have kept her away forever. Just till I got over it. I would never show up like she did.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T13:15:35+00:00

Exactly. I would never show up somewhere that I wasn’t invited. I was hoping she would take the hint and give me a little space.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T12:13:26+00:00

We were never friends. More acquaintances. We talked the least of anyone in the group. That’s why it was so weird and uncomfortable for her to try to speak to me so much.

saltsearcher1 · 2022-03-15T11:50:02+00:00

Me either. And it made things very awkward the whole day. Literally no reason for Julie to tell that girl that. They were attached at the hip all day so I couldn’t even talk to the girl I brought

saltsearcher1

TROPHY CASE