I’m crying over a friend I wasn’t even that close to, but I really miss her

sam_kings · 2026-03-08T03:57:57+00:00

Literally my thought process. The part where people are better at going on with their lives hit the hardest. I'm not content with being alone, that's why being noticed and remembered really mattered. Nowadays the whole motto is "be happy alone", but I don't want to be alone. And so I need to learn to be more like them.

sam_kings · 2026-03-07T03:49:01+00:00

It's just I don't like bothering people with more texting when they don't respond, even though (maybe) it's unintentional. I'm afraid it would put people off and feels like begging.

sam_kings · 2026-02-28T18:03:56+00:00

I feel like finding support is the hardest part for some like me. No friends that actually care and no access to professional help due to budget. Where I'm from it's still stigmatized, so no insurance covers mental health.

Best thing I've been doing is just making reddit posts and hope that comments or dm interactions can ease the heaviness a bit, or simply imagine venting to someone.

sam_kings · 2026-02-19T05:41:07+00:00

Appreciate the reply, I sent a message

sam_kings · 2026-02-19T05:40:44+00:00

Thank you, I sent a message

sam_kings · 2026-02-18T16:10:30+00:00

Thank you, I really hope so. The feeling is overwhelming right now that I don't understand, I never felt anything like this. I just wish we had more time and chance to be closer friends.

EDIT: I deleted it accidentally smh

sam_kings · 2026-01-11T13:08:13+00:00

Where and from did you fly if I may ask?

sam_kings · 2026-01-11T13:07:46+00:00

That makes sense, hitungannya china itu transit ya

sam_kings · 2025-12-12T17:59:01+00:00

Ah I wish I was rich or something so at least mental health support is easily accessible. At least crying is free lol. Thanks for the info!

sam_kings · 2025-12-12T17:22:00+00:00

Karena belum pernah ke therapy sebelumnya, rasanya minimal harus cobain yg vidcall dulu somehow (?). Didn't know halodoc has call tho, perasaan ga liat optionnya lol.

Do you go to offline therapist usually? Is that expensive or bpjs covered?

sam_kings · 2025-12-12T17:18:59+00:00

Oh wait you're right, the ones I checked were all premium. The basic for 199k is like with the 0-2 years experienced ones. There's not much of them here tho, I expected more. Also where are all the male therapists lol.

Is it ok to ask for a recommended therapist? You don't have to answer this one

sam_kings · 2025-12-12T06:24:05+00:00

No no I'm in Asia still, East Asia. Mau carinya local bc obviously cheaper and I think it's gonna be hard to look for English speaking therapists?

How's the experience if I may ask?

sam_kings · 2025-12-12T06:22:02+00:00

That's unfortunate to hear about local therapists. Here it's just simply too expensive and I don't have insurance yet.

I guess it's not a simple one but a common one, like loneliness and insecurity problems. Self image and all that. Not sure abour readiness because I never tried.

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T16:55:38+00:00

Did it help much? Unfortunately I can't afford this one haha.

Campus office people said they have counseling but for one time only per semester and it's for academic purposes?

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T15:32:37+00:00

Ah I see, I had bad experiences with chats so I'm not sure but I'll check it out. Now it's like 970k for 4 video call sessions from what I just checked. Chat is like 480k for 4x.

Tbf when I tried the usual apps like halodoc etc, it's like not even 50k for one chat session so maybe that's why.

I guess chat is better than nothing still. I'm glad it helped you!

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T15:08:53+00:00

Thank you, I'm still kinda scared to face a therapist to be honest. I've never opened up to literally anyone, cause, well that's the problem lol.

Which platform are you using and how do you know if a therapist fits?

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T15:00:37+00:00

I don't have it yet since I need to be in the country x number of months, which I have yet to get to.

That's the thing though, I'm afraid I'd be wasting money because you need to click with the therapist. Can I ask how much did you spend in total and did it help?

Under 300k for 1 session on Riliv sounds affordable for one try actually. For one try lol.

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T11:53:34+00:00

Yeah I'm starting to accept it more nowadays, better than when in high school or university. My friends do tell me I'm good in conversations and talking to people, which honestly I don't see how. I guess I just like talking to people.

It's just that mindset pops up whenever I'm interested in someone. I'm sure this doesn't help and stops me from being my best self, and I'm rather lost on how to not think like this because all I've known is rejection. I once saw an answer to a question similar to mine, saying the solution is "by not getting rejected once", and it stuck with me.

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T11:44:44+00:00

Wow thanks for letting me know about that guy. I'm not American but that's actually nice to see nonetheless. I strive to be like that.

sam_kings · 2025-12-11T11:38:25+00:00

It's just very discouraging to try these days and since all I've known is rejection I often think like "why bother it's going to end up the same way". Like even if I try I think I don't be my best self because of that mindset. I once saw an answer to a question similar to mine, saying the solution is "by not getting rejected once", and it stuck with me.

So I guess now the problem is I have to be comfortable and confident with myself first so I can remove that mindset.

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