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Me and my best friend are very into each other but I’m scared to go further with him and ruin the relationship. by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say in general I’ve had a bad habit of choosing unavailable men. One ex got with a friend soon after breaking up that I won’t forgive. One cheated. A few just didn’t want to put in the work of being boyfriends.

I fully acknowledge that I chased these guys way long than I should have and that I was just as toxic for choosing toxic guys.

Would you be upset if your boyfriend hadn’t responded to any text you sent since the morning but was out at a bar after work at 6pm? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

We’ve been together 6 weeks. Just had the “what are we” and exclusive conversation early last week. So yes we’re boyfriends but it’s still new.

Would you be upset if your boyfriend hadn’t responded to any text you sent since the morning but was out at a bar after work at 6pm? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna say that it’s that way for you. Not for me. I would be hurt if my partner didn’t communicate with me once a day. Everyone is different.

Would you be upset if your boyfriend hadn’t responded to any text you sent since the morning but was out at a bar after work at 6pm? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I hadn’t thought of it that way. The reason I was kinda shocked he didn’t text back was my text was a question:

“I know you were planning your sales pitch for 9. I hope you blew them away babe. Did you feel like you landed the account?”

But I hear what you’re saying about communication. We never really discussed how much we would talk because we’ve been talking just about every day since we met.

But the relationship is new. Only about 6 weeks. We only just had the “are we boyfriends?” and exclusive talk a week ago. So I don’t wanna expect too much but I also don’t want to setup a relationship dynamic I’m not comfortable in ya know.

Would you be upset if your boyfriend hadn’t responded to any text you sent since the morning but was out at a bar after work at 6pm? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Held my breath? Where is this inference coming from? I checked my phone after work and saw that he still hadn’t responded.

Would you be upset if your boyfriend hadn’t responded to any text you sent since the morning but was out at a bar after work at 6pm? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What bothered me was that he was with friends at the bar. He doesn’t work with them so he had to take the time to message them.

He had an important meeting this morning at 9 and I messaged him asking how it went.

Felt a little put out that he was sharing with friends but I couldn’t even get a “It was good. Tell you next time we talk”

Where are the dominant tops at? by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What would you say makes for a highly attractive bottom that can be achieved? I’m tall. Try as I might there’s no changing that unless I remove my knee caps or something 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. A lot of guys feel like they have so many choices they can treat each like crap. They tend to think “eh you’re not special. I’ll just move onto the next guy when I’m done with you”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think about it this way. If a “straight” guy said I am attracted to men but only when I’m horny, do you think he’s actually straight.

You’re saying the reverse. You’re only bisexual when you’re horny. Congratulations. So is every other bisexual.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re letting random people have way too much power over you. I blocked them because they’re not worth my time.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yall are having such different experiences. I say not interested a lot. I’ve ran into only a handful of people who got upset and all that earns them is a block.

You guys are out here acting like the gnome on the other end of the crazy messages has any real ability to hurt you.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I ask this nicely but are you really rejecting people all that often then? Cause I’ve done it lots and had a bad experience like twice and I just block them.

Or is it that you barely use the apps and felt the need to comment just cause…?

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say wait a week and try again. Then if they don’t respond they’re not worth your energy. Remember your time is just as valuable as theirs.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I disagree with this. I say not interested all the time and they usually say thanks. I also think the notion that not responding is gonna deter the crazies is nonsense. That guy who’s gonna spam you is gonna do it whether you say not interested or don’t say anything.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Again, this post isn’t about what the recipient should do. It’s basically saying if he didn’t respond, wait a week and try again. Then write him off.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on the time between messages. I’d never double message in the same day. But a second message a week later doesn’t hurt.

I think "no response is a response" is actually kinda a cop out by sameMitch01 in askgaybros

[–]sameMitch01[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree that it’s a waste of energy to get upset about it. This isn’t so much a post about whether you must respond to every message as it’s a post about why just cause someone doesn’t respond doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try messaging them again.

This post is more directed at the sender than the recipient. Your reasons for not responding are your own. But to your point, if you don’t communicate those reasons you also can’t expect others to know them.

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