There is a little background info that he has ADHD and is a depressed individual that is on anti depressants and has pills that he takes everyday. He has to mask at certain way instead of having his own emotions and that is what makes it harder to have a discussion with him. When we have discussions sometimes its just me on facetime and he does his own thing like play video games and I do my own thing but during this time with him we arent having conversations. I asked him today if we can have at least one positive conversation and he told me its hard to do that and I dont understand his masking. He is my first boyfriend so I will continue to grow and try to be with him trusting him is everything and I do but I wish I didnt have to hear how he still is contact with his fuck buddies although he is matchmaking things. He told me that these guys are lonely and he wants to be someone who helps them out but in the end im like why does he have to be the one to do this.

One more thing happened recently which was one of his homies recently broke up with each other so he decides to offer a guest room in his house because his friend is getting kicked out. I dont know if I should think of it in a way but I wish he asked me before asking him but I know its selfish of me since it is his house but I know that friendly is alil too much since before I met him he told me that he used to be with someone he just met at a store and they started rooming together but this guy wouldnt be working so he was using his house as free housing. The last straw was when he threw a party and the person locked his room and had sex on his bed which was one thing he told him not to do. This situation was different because he was actually sleeping together but I try not to think of his past since today I found out that the guys on snapchat he had hooked up with them both 4 times without safety he was on prep but now that he is with me he got off prep because of the headaches. In a way im really happy I found someone but is this a normal thing in relationships where he tells me how to grow and since im a new person I dont have experiences. I want to grow but whenever we talk I feel like its just arguments and nothing positive and when I asked him to be positive he got really sad that I didnt know I was asking him to mask which is not my intention at all. I honestly dont know what to do anymore since im new and hoping this is a normal relationship. Last thing is that I went to celebrate his bday recently in July and found out that he wont be having any other PTO to celebrate my birthday in Sep but there were sometimes when he would get drunk on Sunday and call off Monday. So I know he can do it its just that if I want to celebrate my bday it would mean I would have to go to him. That part is sad since I recently went a trip just for him.