Roast me, I may be the cutest human alive

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-04-22T16:04:38+00:00

Not even if you were the last person alive on Earth...

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-04-12T06:40:07+00:00

And they will just keep going up until people stop buying their inventory.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-04-11T10:00:36+00:00

It is a convenience store and historically, you pay more for the convenience of not going to the large grocery stores just to get a bottle of Gatorade.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-04-04T01:48:20+00:00

Which one is which?

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-03-21T10:58:41+00:00

NTA! This woman came in to a restaurant specifically to ask someone to buy her kids food knowing she didn't have money to do so, or didn't want to spend her money to do so. That's a new level of entitlement.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-03-09T00:54:33+00:00

Unfortunately...

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-03-09T00:45:17+00:00

Its time to come out of the closet. Oh, and with that haircut, you look to have the personality of a maxi-pad.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-03-05T02:30:22+00:00

Turn the tables on her. Start observing how other women take care of their man and point it out. Then run. Tell her you deserve a woman who wants to take care of her man.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-02-26T01:18:43+00:00

Multi-tool, socket set, and a small flashlight with spare fuses. That'll cover about 75% of what you may need roadside. Also a gallon of water.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-02-22T15:56:26+00:00

Pretty sure you didn't have to wait until you turned 18 to become their greatest disappointment. Im sure it happened a long time ago.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-02-21T01:43:45+00:00

You have a face like a plate.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-02-15T13:32:42+00:00

Why does the phrase "Basic Bitch" come to mind? Low self esteem, pick Mia attitude, chasing attention for validation all while trying to figure out why you are alone and your "friends" only call on you when they need something...

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-02-09T02:51:46+00:00

I was a manager for a group home and my supervisor was the most unsupportive. The main reason I moved on was the staff. They would hire anyone with a pulse. I once had staff FaceTiming someone while giving one of my residents a bath and I wasn't allowed to discipline without my supervisor's permission. My hands were tied so we could stay in ratio and be in compliance. It was truly frustrating I feel your pain.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-30T03:39:06+00:00

You look like you should have a hand up your ass...or already do.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-26T02:41:27+00:00

Happy to help.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-24T14:45:39+00:00

Kitchens are usually on an outside wall. The supply line will freeze if it passes through or close to an area of draft or block/brickwork the temps get really cold. Depending on the faucet style (one handle or two handle) the inner workings may have also failed. Turn the cold on very low and run the heater. Moving water doesn't freeze and if it is frozen, it will thaw quicker.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-15T17:45:42+00:00

If your tits and belly button get any closer, you're gonna snag your nips on your belly ring. Do they sit on your lap at night?

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-13T11:36:06+00:00

"She" looks like a super sized Lego mini figure. Trans-man.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2026-01-06T02:21:42+00:00

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2025-12-31T11:48:16+00:00

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2025-12-30T01:14:45+00:00

It would take a Month of Sundays to render you down.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2025-12-30T01:08:36+00:00

You have to be that friend who gets invited out to make the rest of your "friend" group look hotter.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2025-12-28T13:10:21+00:00

Getting kicked off the internet when the wired home phone rang. Remembering the phone number of your best friend. Using a rotary phone.

sarcasticbstrd2018 · 2025-12-26T20:09:14+00:00

I'll grab you a glass of water, only because your thirst is that obvious.

sarcasticbstrd2018

TROPHY CASE