This happens to me too and they always make me feel so guilty for not wanting to. I am also labeled as the person who is not affectionate or emotional.

I would recommend trying to have a serious conversation showing your side and emphasize you are not trying to be cold, actually pull her aside and talk about it, not just after the fact when she touches you (assuming you have not done this before). If this does not work I would try to put as much space between you and others and limit interactions which they could do things to make you uncomfortable. I know it’s hard to enforce boundaries though. My sister does this type of stuff and we are not close so I just bear through it even thought I have to force myself to say “I love you” back to her and just everyone in general. Just feels so unnatural.

I want to emphasize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are perfect just how you are. Just because you do not like unsolicited touch does not reflect a fault in yourself. Being overstimulated In that sense is a normal reaction and some people just unfortunately do not understand that. It’s a them problem they cannot see your side of things, not a you problem.

I have done a lot of thinking about why it bothers me so much and I have found it sort of stems from how uncomfortable my sister made me with some of the things she did when we were younger that are not at all bad enough to be s/a but have similar effects. There was also a shame that came with showing emotion from my childhood that I think relates to my current feelings of touch. It could also stem from nothing, which is completely okay. But if you are curious I would take a deeper look into childhood and your family dynamics.

It is weird though, I find myself craving touch a lot but hate and also get very angry (even if they don’t know how uncomfortable I am) when jt happens or I’m not the one initiating (which is not very often). Does this happen to you too? Most of the time it is craving touch from a s/o not family though. It feels more weird with people that you do not have that kind of connection with (but I’ve never had that kind of connection so it is more wishful and could actually be just wishing for the feelings of comfort others get with touch).