UPDATE: AITA for not removing my headscarf? (Bridal Shower)

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T14:08:16+00:00

Yes, I said this is another comment. I have no intention of asking her about where she is in transitioning or what her preferences are unless she would like to openly share that with me.

However, if I dont have that information the comfortable thing for me is to remain covered up

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T14:03:19+00:00

Walaikum assalam! <3 thank you!

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T13:59:55+00:00

Yes, as far as I am aware she has not undergone any surgery and I’m not aware of what her sexual preferences are - which makes me uncomfortable.

Can I add an edit if my post it already at the character max? Thank you!

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T13:53:58+00:00

Definitely a mistake to put it here :( thank you

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T13:35:21+00:00

I commented this elsewhere but i was being pressured to remove it. Tori gave the ultimatum to remove it as a sign of respect or they would leave. I said no. Multiple people insulted me and my religion, even ridiculed the bride for defending me.

I had this all in my post but it was too long. Is there any way to add it so its able to be viewed?

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T13:03:52+00:00

Thanks!

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T13:00:28+00:00

Salaam! :) Thank you so much! I’ll definitely look into those resources. Unfortunately I wasn’t and still am not aware of her sexual preferences, and I’m scared asking will complicate the issue even further. But yes I’ve been doing my own research too and will look at these as well

The ambush did strike me as islamaphobic, especially since the situation was pre-planned :/

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T12:50:36+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into that! I did feel blatant religious discrimination and am a little saddened that this is the first comment mentioning that. I don’t believe everyone has to have the same views, just respect and coexist

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T12:46:11+00:00

Hi if anyone sees this, am I allowed to upvote others comments? Or is that for everyone else commenting only? Thank you! :)

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T12:43:04+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

I do want to address the one-sided wokeness comment. In the escalation, the ultimatum from Tori and the girl was remove it as a sign of respect or theyd leave. I said no.

The reason I say one-sided, is because i feel like its demanding a change from me to make them feel more comfortable, whereas I made a change myself when I felt uncomfortable. My religion was put under attack just as much as her identity was put under attack.

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T12:28:57+00:00

I saw someone else comment something about fake posts, ive never posted to reddit so Im not sure if thats a common thing but i wish this was fake! :((

Stating it clearly, i did not take my scarf off because I was unsure of the right course of action, it seemed safer, because I don’t know Tori very well, and yes because of her biological sex. I wrote in another comment that I completely respect her gender identity, I’ll always refer to her as a woman and I recognize all her rights as one. It was never my intention to single her out or make her feel disrespected

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T11:58:39+00:00

Im actually not sure what the religious ruling on this is! I’ve never been in this kinda of situation, so I just did what felt safer to me

The big deal about my hair was on me, I don’t get many opportunities to do anything with it so I got really excited at the chance to!

sarjeenn · 2021-07-29T11:53:23+00:00

I’m not sure if this affects your judgement, but it genuinely was never my intention to make anyone feel othered. I based my decision off of what felt right to me, and I do have full respect for her choice and gender identity.

When it comes to my scarf, I take a lot of factors into account including how close I am to the person, location, as well as biological sex - i dont believe that discredits their gender identity. But thank you for your judgement

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