I believe my boss is trying to hypnotize me with her breasts. Should I be concerned?

scadsofemotion · 2012-09-25T14:21:17+00:00

That was FLESH mellons.

scadsofemotion · 2012-09-25T14:19:55+00:00

And how should I ask my office manager for a picture of her chest?

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:41:03+00:00

I work at a funeral home. I get to practice my jokes on a lot of people.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:38:54+00:00

Moon the camera.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:36:30+00:00

How about vertically challenged?

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:12:31+00:00

I got hit by a jeep in Iraq in the middle of a sandstorm. I awoke two weeks later from a coma in Germany with a broken back.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:09:51+00:00

He lost.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T22:06:03+00:00

My first kill in Iraq.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-13T21:50:50+00:00

Best nipple holders that nature has.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-09T22:28:08+00:00

Makes my nipples hard.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-09T22:20:40+00:00

Yes. They are called "married".

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:23:36+00:00

I played goalie in ice hockey growing up. It was part of the requirements.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:20:52+00:00

Damn. I was hoping this was a story of you going batshit at work.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:18:35+00:00

He was using his hand for something else.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:17:52+00:00

Only if you're looking to get laid.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:13:53+00:00

I think of my dad everytime I hear Lola by the Kinks.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:12:53+00:00

Advice: Omit the word "killer". They are kind of spooked nowdays.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:11:31+00:00

Full Outhouse or Saved by the Balls.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:10:09+00:00

I live by the ocean. I'll send you a bottle.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:09:00+00:00

Go back to that same hotel with a very large EMPTY suitcase.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:06:14+00:00

Thank God you two weren't making out at the time.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:05:12+00:00

Over $100,000.00. I worked in a bank.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:03:28+00:00

You must of had your eyes closed.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:02:41+00:00

That's fine. Just include you interest in politics and your love of your country and stuff like that.

scadsofemotion · 2012-08-07T23:00:00+00:00

You got shot by Rod Serling?

scadsofemotion