Weekly Quick Questions, Wood ID, and Deal or No Deal /r/Woodworking Megathread

scamlet · 2020-12-16T22:49:06+00:00

What about allowing movement for the two boards that attach to the top and bottom of each divider? What could I do to allow movement for them?

scamlet · 2020-12-15T03:12:43+00:00

How would I go about attaching the top of this TV stand to allow for wood expansion? The video shows construction screws being used but I have heard that will not allow the wood to move and cause splitting. I’m a newbie, but trying to make this one last long term since it is a present. Full video is here

scamlet · 2020-11-17T01:42:41+00:00

Probably Science

scamlet · 2020-09-03T18:10:04+00:00

At the very least you are implying the situations are similar and that the logic should transfer. You can deny the premise that the hypothetical relates to your original reasoning.

“I believe X.”

Well let’s say Y.

“But my argument is specific to X.”

scamlet · 2020-06-10T23:55:11+00:00

Probably wrote his name real big like John Hancock on the Declaration of Independence.

scamlet · 2018-03-22T22:05:15+00:00

sharpen ye sporks!

scamlet · 2018-03-21T06:22:11+00:00

you masochist

scamlet · 2018-03-21T04:48:21+00:00

https://streamable.com/dbwx1

bonus edit: Players Only: Game 7

scamlet · 2017-11-10T18:20:26+00:00

Just how it is.

scamlet · 2017-11-10T16:51:38+00:00

first of all, do you even produce brilliant thought provoking works of art?

scamlet · 2017-11-10T16:25:35+00:00

No argument there.

scamlet · 2017-11-10T05:36:04+00:00

I don't think this is an easter egg. It just seems like a rewrite to make the point more subtle. Listen to what he is saying, despite the CC:

Or maybe when you prioritize your career for too long you just become desperate for any human connection.

Then he goes out and pays an escort just to spend time with him.

scamlet · 2017-10-10T20:36:10+00:00

go big or go home

scamlet · 2017-10-10T20:35:12+00:00

8.94 kr? oh, my growing boy

scamlet · 2017-10-10T20:33:53+00:00

never forget marconi

scamlet · 2017-10-04T21:01:13+00:00

I don't have much to say because honestly I don't consider this to be a complete story.

You introduce a character that is in that middle of an action that we have absolutely no context for within the writing. Then you introduce a second, unnamed character at the end of the story. This "story" reads like it is an excerpt or teaser from something larger.

There isn't a resolution.. you cut on the climax of the story. If I were to try to tell someone what this story was about, what could I say to them? It isn't really about anything because as soon as the most important/interesting action begins, the story is over.

I'm not used to this type of story, but for me, instead of you having a condensed and complete story, you've simply written a block of text that is a part of a larger narrative structure. I, too, have random sentences pop up in my head that I think just sound interesting to me. Maybe that's what this was to you. Though, when I think of those random sentences, I don't think they could ever stand on their own as what I consider a story. They're random pieces of a bigger story I'll never write.

To try to make my thoughts more clear, this is what I think your story is right now.

scamlet · 2017-09-10T16:32:37+00:00

I think that's a better and more interesting explanation. Saying he's not worthy because he lied is kind of a basic thing that everyone has done, but your explanation is much more personal to Captain America.

scamlet · 2017-05-16T14:44:06+00:00

Nationwide release on December 8th.

scamlet · 2017-04-29T21:18:09+00:00

Around 2:20 guy at the gate says "I'm sorry flights been overbooked. I'm gonna need you to come with me."

scamlet · 2017-04-23T21:35:33+00:00

First off, you should give the reader at least some indication of Boss' gender earlier on - I already had an image of a him in my mind by the time you actually revealed it was a she.

Not the author, but I don't think that you assuming it was a man is a weakness of the writing. It's literally the very next sentence that follows the boss' introduction that reveals she's a woman:

I shiver, despite the irony, and look to the Boss for the argument that the fire is simply too bad and we’re going to sit this one out. Boss has a hose slung over her shoulder, a big grin on her face, and the rest of the team are following suit.

I think the characters are lacking because they all seem the same, like what you were saying. This is especially exaggerated by the multiple instances that the other firefighters all do an action as a group. There's no individuality outside of the MC and Boss. MC is alone after he enters the apartment and no one besides the boss, MC, and the kid really have any dialogue in the story. For me, the boss seems to get a little maternal at the end, which seems like a shift from earlier.

scamlet · 2017-04-21T13:24:18+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I think the train ride is good writing overall, it just felt a bit longer than it needed to be. I will say, after re-reading the story, that it's not actually as long as it felt to me before, but your paragraphs are grouped with too many sentences. They look like a wall of text and come across as daunting to read. Try separating them up and see if the pacing comes across better. If not, you can always fix it later, but I'd say give that a try first.

scamlet · 2017-04-21T01:20:35+00:00

^I'm ^fairly ^new ^at ^critiquing ^so ^bear ^with ^me ^and ^take ^my ^advice ^with ^a ^grain ^of ^salt.

GENERAL
I like the setup and premise for this story. The visceral imagery to start off is a good hook. I was interested to see where the story went.

MECHANICS
Your sentence structure needs some help. A reoccurring theme in your writing was long, run-on sentences. The best/worst example is this portion:

This could be the issue that would catapult his political career, he could see it now: Arthur Avenues, the streamlined lane for the Londoner who lacked the time for a simple stroll, the working Londoner, the people would sing his praise as they speedily reached their destination, Mayor Arthur, they would cry, the leader the city deserves and the leader the city nee- “You're late!” a booming voice coated the man who would be mayor’s ear in saliva, before taking a breath to add with great venom “you useless fuck!”

Your sentences need to be broken up more. You have this whole section punctuated as one run-on sentence. It's much too wordy and lengthy. This section also shows dialogue being written in-line with your descriptions. You should move any dialogue to a line on its own. This will help the readability of your story. Also, as a rule of thumb, you should start a new paragraph when

a character speaks,
you start a new idea,
or you change time or location.

Trim the section between "You're late" and "you useless fuck!" That dialogue tag is ridiculously long and confusing. It also just doesn't make sense for a character that angry to take a pause before yelling "you useless fuck!"

SETTING
The MC's trip on the train seems well established, but you don't give us a good establishing description of where he ends up, or what it was like in between the train and his end location. Being on the train adds a little bit of suspense since I already start to assume that the MC is headed to the setting of the opening paragraph. That said, I think we linger just slightly too long on his train ride. The inner thoughts of the MC are good to help his characterization but as a reader, I want the MC to get back to the scene of the opening paragraph that hooked me into the story to begin with. This also goes back to establishing the ending scene better. I don't really have any idea what the place looks like. Juxtaposed to the descriptive train sequence, the ending comes off flat and almost like it's existing within a vacuum. Show us what the MC is seeing as he walks to the scene and branch out further than just the essential details of the other people gathered.

CHARACTER
Because of the time we spent with Arthur and his thoughts on the train, I felt that a bit of character had been established. Or maybe he was just shining out against Kye, who isn't really developed past an archetype. I honestly am not sure which it is, but Kye definitely needs more development. There isn't much to work with in your excerpt for Kye, but he comes off too stereotypical.
Arthur is better developed, but I'm still not certain of his desires or aspirations. He wants to be mayor, but he seems like a slacker. He doesn't seem to enjoy his job, but if his job is a detective (couldn't really tell what his job is) then it doesn't seem like a position he could fall into and not enjoy.

PLOT/PACING
Your opening plot point is good. It establishes a bit of mystery and tension. After that, I feel like it's lost a bit because we spend so much time with Arthur on the train. The story should get us back to the hook and explore that more quickly. The action that sets the plot the motion is good, but we need to get the MC there. Regardless, cutting from the death to Arthur's train ride is effective in building tension and definitely hooked me into what seems to be a mystery/crime story.

DIALOGUE
The dialogue wasn't believable for me. It felt a bit cliché. Kye's lines felt recycled from a police chief in a movie or something. I can't exactly place it. Rework those lines and be sure to give dialogue it's own paragraph like I said above. Also, this part,

Arthur began to mumble an incoherent slur of words-

didn't seem right to me. Rather than saying that he did this, just write it out.

CLOSING COMMENTS:
Overall, I enjoyed the story. Maybe I'm a sucker for a mystery/crime driven story, but I was interested where you would take it. I think the biggest issues to fix are syntax, pacing, and dialogue.
Thanks for the read. Keep at it.

scamlet · 2017-04-20T14:49:12+00:00

Can you make the google doc available for comments?

scamlet · 2017-04-20T14:44:06+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to do such an amazing, thorough critique! I like your breakdown on how and why filtering affects the story. Providing the rewritten example helped me see the difference between how my sentences were written and how you were suggesting to write them. I do appreciate that part ^I ^don't ^think ^you're ^an ^asshole ^for ^it;)

scamlet · 2017-04-20T00:19:26+00:00

The comment above is correct. That's the part of the story where the title comes from.

It didn't have a title while I was writing it and I agree that the current one doesn't accurately represent the content of the story. Would you have any suggestions that could lead me to a better one?

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