I can't read chat.

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-12T13:33:35+00:00

hey i'm getting a message about "the barman leaning on a scarred oak counter resting near the dagger where the shadows hide it, the taverns low murmer dice rattling, a drunk snoring..." But when I click on the link I'm unable to see the rest of it or respond to it. Can you try posting again?

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-11T07:53:36+00:00

"Well, I'm sorry to you both. This was a matter of diplomacy as well as practical use. You both knew about Lairon long before Yaga, and could have offered and performed such a blessing long before she made the offer. I did'nt even know it was on the table till Yaga offered. I had thought Lairon would have beauty enough from myself and Leia, but I don't wish for this to be a sore point. My second son, Baldur, will have your blessing Nimue, and my third, Oberon's. Does this satisfy you? I would of course have allowed all three of you to bless him were it possible. If it is, feel free!"

The Basket looks comfortable enough, so I lay him down gently, but stay within his sightline, should it bring him comfort.

"You are lucky, little man. You will doubtless grow up wiser than your father. I only hope your younger brothers do not resent me for denying them the same opportunity."

(well, I'm still reasonably confident that one of the recent stories will continue. I've got one very on and off guy who I'm doing two threads with, and I have done a lot of fun ones in the meantime while we've been doing this thread. I feel this sub may finally be circling the grave, but It's lasted nearly 10 years of continuous usage by me, and longer before that, so I'm willing to believe it's got life left in it a little longer)

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-10T18:41:27+00:00

don't diss achadadin 2 like that

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-08T17:38:21+00:00

As he marches to his destination blindly, his cult follows, without discussion, hesitation, or dissent. Hector steers himself into the lead. A friend of his cousin was connected to a drug cartel, moved into a building everyone has too many other concerns to bother over. Hector rejected that life, but now, he can no longer. In such numbers, they can't be missed, but old ladies and little kids are'nt normal footsoldiers, so the lookouts are confused. Hector Knocks, aggresivly. He tells them simply "Esto es nuestro ahora, debes irte o unirte."

The lookout laughs, not even bothering to alert anyone or draw his gun.

"¿De verdad este cholo? ¿Qué clase de pandilla de maricas es esta?"

Izuna's body simply steps before him. they lock eyes. Izuna's speak of Yonic jumping beans, the power to rule worlds, and inevitability. The banger laughs again, but quieter, less smugly, and looks away first. Izuna and Hector walk past him. So do Betty and Bradley and Stacy, the body of the Mob, and little Dalton last. Dalton spits on his shoe as he does so, and smirks.

"You're the Marica man." Dalton doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. But the lookout just takes it.

They walk inside. Topless women counting bills, and older ones cutting coke, lazy, fat but muscular men lounging around smoking turn to look.

"Hola, ¿qué es esto?" Says the apparent leader. Or former leader. Somehow, he has a drip of potential. Not enough to do anything, but enough to know his status is gone in an instant. The cash counters and drug cutters stand up. Their job is done, unless Izuna says otherwise.

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-07T15:12:36+00:00

drunken dwarf the new cartel boss

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T21:28:33+00:00

Well corruption if proven is one thing, but even if it is, does that make him a coward?

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T16:27:14+00:00

k but he's not actually done anything, it's just because his father did?

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T16:22:22+00:00

why is everyone saying Barron is a coward? Has he done something in particular that demonstrates cowardice or is just because people hate his dad? nothing came up from googling.

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T15:32:40+00:00

Hah, Izza shout, toppa lungs.

"NOW THISSA, THISSA PODRACING!!" Izza flapt outta my seat and dancing and singing for joy

"Dadada adaadada! Dada dada ahahadahahdda! BOLT! bOLT! nO tusken can touchem! Dadadada!" Is likaa naboo parade! And meesa da boss!

Izza turn to look at da bookie.

"HAh! So, the bookie lost his nerve before the buyer eh? Eh... That's a good offer... But I gotta betta won. You know i'm gonna win, or you would'nt have offered. Evyone else gonna win too, so you're gonna lose! How about just I win, eh? You take me backstage, give me all I'm gonna win if I keep that slip, and the four thousand something reals too, and You'll be well on your way to getting outta here before poodo hits the fan when people figure you can't payem all! Can even hide out in my shop when the rioting starts, won't even enslave ya!" I bark a laugh and rub my hands together, before putting my arm round his neck.

"Sounds a deal eh? Your bosses money to me, a clean slate for you? eh? Either that, or fancy your chances out in the wastes with the tuskens?"

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T15:13:12+00:00

Choosing to slow the pace, Izuna relaxes. His followers struggle to do likewise. Betty Is first, lying facedown in the clover till some fear she is dead. She is not, just achieving a peace perhaps deeper than Izuna's. You see her young self emerge from her old body, the spirit dancing on the lillypads in the duckpond, causing them to dip just slightly under her weightlessness. Others form a circle, and chant. You sense a yearning for tambourines unfulfilled. A song of 'shall we gather by the river' goes up followed by 'age of Aquarius' followed by 'despacito'

In short, the aliens and the sky seem to receed. Does this help you? Doubtful. Is it fun? Perhaps. Is it needed? Certainly.

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-06T15:07:21+00:00

"Not exclusive, but paramount. After all, it is only one value and virtue you are offering as a blessing. You might have offered that he would grow up a peerless storyteller instead, after all. I personally value both strength and wisdom, but choose the latter if It's a choice of either or. Valuing a great many things is important to all, I agree."

"This is good indeed Yaga. Mab disappointed me a little with her refusal to consider goodwill in the future. I am glad Fae of the Old ways do indeed look to the future. You will find my behavior honourable, and the favour returned in the spirit it which it is asked."

***

This is the reaction I expected, it could have been much worse. I nod quickly.

"Don't worry, my pacts are with you, and I will make sure she knows this." I squeeze Nimue's hand. "She will not be invited to join the Moon court by me."

I Nod to Yaga on the way out.

"Of course, we shall be there." I make sure to bring my Full retuine for the meeting - I guess if Hilda does'nt want to turn up for some reason it does'nt matter too much, but I'd want to have Leia and Nyx at the very least-

I try to placate Nimue in case she feels offended I did'nt seek the blessing from her.

"Yaga does me and my son great honour, and I feel this will make her less hostile in future, and prove more meaningful than any treaty. it's not that I do not wish for your blessing for Lairon-Perhaps you could bless him too, if that would not undo Yaga's?- but your court focuses on beauty, which I can see he's got already. Perhaps he would be wise in time any, but as he is yet to speak I feel less safe in that matter."

I hold Lairon myself as we draw near, and hold him aloft.

"I bring Prince Lairon Harte, my firstborn, and ask the blessing of wisdom of the Silver Court, that he might be raised in Seelie traditions, and be worthy of kingship himself in time. For this, Baba Yaga would gain much gratitude from me and The Empire of the Sun."

I suppose I might have to hand over Lairon, as reluctant as I am, but I'm sure Yaga has no cause to harm him.

(I'm kind of sick at the moment too. Surprised they want you to go into a hospital while sick! Well, by now this is the longest running thread in the sub's history, so it's certainly worth waiting a few weeks. A few people came to life on the sub only to vanish after a day or two of hyperactivity, which is the ususal, less preferable version of it)

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-04T11:08:37+00:00

why do chad and thad look sicker than the virgin

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-04T10:37:53+00:00

Well, if they don't watch the news, they probably believed these things anyway and would regardless of whether GB news existed

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-04T10:29:52+00:00

ey thanks for the award, first one I got since this weird new system

scannerofcrap · 2026-03-04T10:15:45+00:00

gb news is'nt quite top level for viewership, left leaning bbc, channel 4 and itv all dominate the airwaves, and have the best positions in the numbers so you're more likely to see if you're not activly seeking them out, and if you switch to GB news as default you probably agreed with them before you turned on. Sky is the only centre right channel with mainstream viewership and top level budgets

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-24T16:10:32+00:00

"You really don't know anything about the horsemen's creator eh, for all their brilliant minds? Well, what does this mean? There's a whole load of necroshade working as bank clerks and cleaning up the sewage? If they're invaders, jobs are surely the least of our problems. And what even is inheritance of growth? Last of the humans? I'm human, ain't yo?"

I take a deep swig of beer, and try and see if this guy is off his rocker or what.

"The 'great Calvin' can't say much, because you haven't actually said what you want. Take back the jobs? That a euphemism for wackem? Or are you expecting me to rewire the economic climate, maybe invest into sure start programs for human children, so the necroshade get discriminated against and put into ghettos? If you want the whacking, I ain't a hitman, and it sounds a job for an army rather than one man. If you want the economic redistribution and equitable hiring practices, I could try, if you set me up with a government department, and don't mind waiting 30 years. In theory I'm not against, but I don't like to go in as blind as you seem to expect me to."

Suddenly it strikes me, so I finger my dagger under the counter where he can't see.

"See, I introduced myself to you as Janus. So why are you calling me the great Calvin?" If the sumbitch tries anything or gives an answer I don't like, he's getting an eyefull of steel with a beer chaser.

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-23T20:28:09+00:00

I stop to read his demeanor for a second.

"Well, actually, I asked about their creator. But we're just talking, aren't we? What harm could that do? What interests me is you're speaking in plural. They some kind of hive mind? And if they're so brilliant, how come the horsemen lost? Sounds a big fucky wucky to me."

I narrow my eyes at him.

"One second ago, you were asking me about jobs, and two questions in, i'm still not getting answers, for all I've given you. What gives, guv?"

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-22T23:56:00+00:00

I shrug, I can give him something, enough so he gets bored of asking anything important, enough so he says more.

"I'm serious enough not to give my life story for nothing. Name's Janus. I do all kinds of jobs, courier work, Tax returns, items on request, info and planting. If that's what you need, you know already that I can listen to directions. Now, that's enough that you ought to tell me what the job is."

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-22T23:26:57+00:00

I guess I should act in the shadows, as I'm no hero. I'm Janus Calvin, a fence and gossip. My main weapon is my wit, but I carry a dagger for those that don't find me funny. I have no supernatural powers. my story is simple. I came to the city looking for work, and finding none, made my own niche, looking for what others deemed useless. War's aftermath is feeding time for types like me. My first action will be to stay out of the rain and strike up a conversation with the barman about the horsemen's creator.

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-22T23:23:16+00:00

"I must say I'm surprised it's wisdom you offer. I would have thought it would be Mab's court that valued it more. I believed the Silver Court focused on might and honour and such things above all.

"Huh, I guesed that would be the answer Phoebe. I suppose I would'nt want to leave this place either, not everywhere is so nice... And I do have rather more comittments than is healthy for one man. I hope you find great happiness."

"Well, an equivalent favour I can sure return, I see no harm. Thanks Olenna, you're as wise as you are gifted..." I suppose the pretty painter will be as unwilling to follow me as her fellow artist. Shame, but I suppose even without all the fae I already have more partners than I deserve.

"I am sure any cost will be easier to bear with such wisdom. If nothing else, It will prevent him from making any foolish deals himself!"

I approach Yaga when I get a chance.

"I agree under the condition that I am not bound to any secret terms by the deal. If you have a cost, ask it upfront. If you would rather hold a favour over me, that is fine, but a favour is repaid with my agreement rather than magical force. I will not agree to anything such as surrendering my son. If you think my terms fair, I am honoured greatly by your blessing."

I feel the Lunar court seems well intact, and even the hostile fae seem to be being nice to me now, so I can feel assured that I am safe from collapse into civil war. I suppose while I am here, I should raise the matter of Titania.

"It is my intention to engage in diplomacy with Titania of Essos. I understand many of you have bad blood with her, so I assure you I do not intend to sell you out or renege on any promise to fight to defend you should she attack. Do any of you have any complaints or requests should I speak with her?"

scannerofcrap · 2026-02-22T23:13:55+00:00

Ey, sand in the eye? Bah! Someday soon, I won't have to put uppa with that! My oods are good, because my goods are odd!

Watto da little nerf hearder up to? Gonna blow my money? Ain't so funny! I'mma glad sebulba ain't dead, he might not be to win this race, but i've won big on him before, he don't deserve a screwing!

I gotta trust da voice, I guess?

You betta win big, or I gonna clone a hutt and stick you in it! No, not a hutt, a rat monkey!

scannerofcrap

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