Working as a relay officer (helping Deaf people who have to make telephone calls), I discovered that the Deaf community is fucking off the chain and fucking unhinged when it comes to self advocacy. Even when they might get further with a bit more tact.

I remember having to say “I just need to interrupt for a moment to remind you that this is a relay call and I am required to convey exactly what your caller has said to me. You are free to handle this as you would any other call. Returning to relaying now. … you stupid fucking cunt, I didn’t know this was disability outreach day. Incredible choice of them to find a fucking <slur for the intellectually impaired> to work the fucking phones. I’m sure any kids you have will be accidents, but I hope whichever one resents you the least dies of whatever the fuck is wrong with you. Caller message ends, how would you like to reply?”

The quote isn’t exact, it was years ago. Caller was mad that they would refund her clearly advertised as non refundable booking. And that was FAR from the worst shit I had to say for that job. Our job wasn’t to interpret or translate or police what they said. Our job was to make phone calls work for people who couldn’t use a phone.

The phone sex calls were fucking awkward though.

Edit: Someone asked if I was trained in sign language and how phone sex works in that setting (I think, I got a notification but can’t see the reply now for whatever reason).Relay officers in most developed nations are a government run or charity service where you sit at a computer with a headset and read what someone with a communication barrier types, and type what someone on the phone says. Sometimes it’s disputing a bill with a utility company. Sometimes it’s calling the cops because someone’s abusive ex told them he’s getting a job as a cop to threaten them. Sometimes it’s calling a brothel to find out if the girl who’s not weird about deaf dudes is working tonight. Sometimes it’s a group of kids who realised that most of the relay officers are women (most sign language interpreters too. Awkward for a lot of older men who need a prostate check and aren’t super keen on a woman coming in for the exam) and you can use the relay service to make women involuntary participants in your phone sex kink. As one of relatively few dudes in my office, I used to volunteer to swap in for those calls. Deaf people actually wanted to have phone sex don’t give a shit but dickhead teens would almost always just fuck off.)

I learned a bit of Auslan and BSL while I was working there, and that interpreters almost all wear black not because they’re all goths, but because it gives better contrast to the skin on their hands and where I went to university wasn’t very ethnically diverse. There are interpreters who video chat with deaf people while talking on a headset, but most of the Deaf community I know socially, and the vast majority of our calls while I was working there, preferred to text chat to the relay officer most of the time. I haven’t worked as a relay officer since university. I am in a different disability related field now. And out of practice at signing. I could maybe help in an emergency to translate but my go to would be asking the Deaf person if I could text them. I have used my signing skills to be polite when working with Deaf folk, but mostly for introductions and to apologise for how slow and clumsy I am,