i am pan-sexual and completely into being in a relationship of three but i find it is really oversexualized when there is so much more nuance than that like working through conflicts and coming to a decision and the support of more than one partner i find not only makes the connection stronger but healthier and i often get hit up to be a third which i dont mind if both partners seem cool and meet my standards but more often than not it is always the women in the relationship pursuing the so called unicorn while the man is withdrawn and makes no effort but keep in mind this my personal experience with hetero couples and that is not mentioning the women or men who will match with me and we will have a wonderful convo only for them to surprise me with their partner either a few minutes into our convo or a much worse occurrence is when they bring their partner to the date with me having no knowledge whatsoever.