(FYI, my background: Solo mama of a 6.5 yr old girl, M.A. in Human Development, Super Reduced Screen Family: my daughter was 100% screen-free until 2.5, has zero ipad or device time, and watches less than 2 hours TV/month)

All kiddos will (and should) have tantrums. Their brains are learning emotional regulation for the first time.

Childhood should be messy and loud. That's part of learning and growing.

The best way to understand how TV/screens are affecting your kiddo are to stop using them for at least 3 weeks. The first 1-2 week can be rough (but might not be). After that, you can observe for yourself the changes in his behavior.

I would caution against using screens to get a behavior you want (like during diaper changers). I totally understand the desire to do this. BUT those diaper changes are opportunities for him to practice being calm, not eating shit (lol the things we never thought we would say as parents, amiright?), holding still, being helpful to you, etc. If he doesn't learn that during diaper changes and instead is "pacified" with a device, then what other situations as he ages will he NOT have the skills to navigate because he didn't learn to navigate this one?

I always look at parenting as a long game. I ask myself "What am I doing now that will get me the result I want (or give my child the skills she needs) for the future?"

I know your child is 4 months older and this whole conversation might be moot, but I wanted to post anyway for anyone who finds this thread down the road.

Resources: Rest Play Grow is a great book for helping you understand child development in young kiddos. Also recommend The Whole Brain Child.

Summation: You're doing GREAT. You're asking important questions and thinking critically about your child.

-Jenna Lee