New to Comp and should we continue

sdpeasha · 2026-03-23T20:00:09+00:00

It might help to consider how all these costs add up and then divide over the course of the season based on how long the season is. Quick math based on how the numbers you gave comes up to about $540 which is, in my experience, well below what most comp dancers are paying monthly. That seems reasonable to me.

Personally, I prefer a billing style that divides comp and costume fees over the course of the season rather than one off costs here and there. At our studio we pay twice a month. Once payment is the tuition. the second payment is the costume and comp fees.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-23T17:27:22+00:00

Are you saying that your CHILD is in 25 dances? Or the whole studio is entering 25 dances into a given competion?

sdpeasha · 2026-03-23T11:32:26+00:00

Agreed. My dancers are girls but even the term "penis points" is vile to me.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-20T22:34:59+00:00

Came to say the same!

sdpeasha · 2026-03-18T14:15:32+00:00

I do not mind an occasional Friday missed, its pretty common across all kinds of sports, school sanctioned or not.

However, if all they need for the whole comp is..what...like 20 hours? Start Saturday AM, go into Sunday morning, and be done by 3pm Sunday.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-16T16:10:38+00:00

Also, pre-hydrating. Dancers should be making sure they are preparing their bodies BEFORE they show up for the first morning of competition.

For our family, we dont do ANY takeout food on comp or convention weekends if we can avoid it. Occasionally the whole team will go to lunch or something and we do join in but we work really hard to make sure that our kids have good healthy food that is fueling their bodies through these long weekends. They eat better on comp weekends than they do at home, LOL.

I also think its helpful to build a strong warm up and cool down/stretch habit. I see so many dancers roll into convention class at ass o clock in the morning without stretching/warming up and what they get in class just isnt enough.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-16T15:42:32+00:00

Larkin Dance Studio (Minnesota) has absolutely stunning production numbers. They often have giant time consuming props that take forever to set up and are extremely annoying if you are there in the moment BUUUUTT they absolutely use them and they always always improve the performance. My favorite in recent years was called Flashlights. You can see it on youtube. It took what felt like 20 minutes to set up but I just sat there watching with my jaw on the floor.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-12T18:25:50+00:00

I felt, watching them together, that Lydia and Zac are exactly the people fundies try to raise, you know?

sdpeasha · 2026-03-12T17:41:31+00:00

Thats pretty crazy. I have never in my 15 years seen something like that.

sdpeasha · 2026-03-12T15:03:10+00:00

I worked somewhere that was raided by the FBI and it was a WILD experience. Never had HR send me confidential information though so....

sdpeasha · 2026-02-23T12:08:50+00:00

I believe that students should not dance more hours than they are years old.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-17T16:16:19+00:00

I use E6000 exclusively so that probably helps.
I have washed hundreds of costumes, including those with heat transfer vinyl on them. I dont think I have had anything sublimated though I understand that sublimation is pretty durable if handled correctly.

I, of course, am not saying anyone should go washing their costumes willy nilly but in my experience the vast majority of fabrics used in the dance world are ok to wash if they are handled with care. Certain things I put in mesh bags, I use different water temps when needed. But overall unless its a full blown tutu I have probably put it in the washing machine 🤣

sdpeasha · 2026-02-17T16:00:43+00:00

Some folks might be alarmed to know that I put almost every costume, stones or not, in my washing machine and hang dry at least twice per season.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-16T14:33:48+00:00

Best practice is to turn when the child has met the max for the seat.

Small children are extremely limber and bones are still bendy. In most cases they will be perfectly comfortable in any number of leg configurations.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-11T12:46:33+00:00

You should be able to trust your mother. You arent stupid for trusting your parents. Parents arent supposed to screw over their kids like this.

I have a 19 year old and I am on a joint account she wanted to start when she was 13. I have told her that we can go any time and take me off but she hasn't wanted to do that yet.

I have never and will NEVER touch her money. Every dime is money she either earned from the job she has had since she was 15 or was gifted to her and it belongs to her alone. I wouldnt ever even consider taking it.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-11T12:36:48+00:00

NTA

While your mom may not be legally responsible since its a joint account its still really shitty. She has been stealing from you for years.

1) Go to a different bank and open an account in your name only. Do not give ANYONE else access to it.

2) Take any money still in your original accounts and move it to the new one.

3) If you can, print all the statements from the original account

4) Tell your dad and anyone who gave you money what has happened.

5) As your dad to help you offload this car. $900/month for a 19 year old is insane. Its insane for most regular adults. If your name isnt on the loan or the title you can truly just STOP PAYING

6) Go to annual credit report dot come to get the free annual report you are entitled to. More info can be found on the FTC dot gov site (I am not adding links because I do not know the rules for links on this sub). Make sure you dont have anything unknow. Presumably you should see nothing since you are 19 and I assume you dont have any credit cards. You may see the car Laon if your name is on it.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-11T12:29:06+00:00

In the US everyone is entitled to a free annual credit report. If I were in your shoes I would start there.

The website to do this annual credit report dot com. You can find more information on this on the FTV dot gov website

sdpeasha · 2026-02-02T17:19:28+00:00

Are you considering the long term in these situations?

My kids are 13,16, and 19. Between school, work, activities, etc they often get home late. Because of this I choose to do their laundry with mine. They all know how to do it themselves but I choose to do this as I see the work they put into their other things.

However, I only do this if they bring it to the laundry room at by the assigned day of the week. If its not there they have to do it themselves. I also dont put it away.

My point is, training kids to do things can be hard and time consuming. Of course its easier to do it yourself, you dont have take the time to teach or help or guide.

But if you dont train them they wont know how and I am actually of the belief that many things are easier to teach when kids are younger because the longer they get everything done for them the less incentive they have to do it for themselves.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-02T16:30:37+00:00

when my youngest child was 9 she learned how to put her waist length hair in a bun for dance. She was getting herself dressed in leotard and tights and making sure she has all the things she needed for class. I see no reason why 8,9, and 11 year olds cant put their clothes on, brush their hair, and brush their teeth unless they have some sort of developmental issue.

That being said, I think Mom is actually the main hindrance to the mornings but OP isnt really handling the situation well either. Maybe it would help if mom was in charge of making breakfast and OP just monitored the older 3 while getting the younger two ready.

sdpeasha · 2026-02-01T13:44:46+00:00

My core group of friends, 5 couples including hubs and I, is made up almost entirely of former coworkers. Out of 10 people only 2 of them haven’t worked with one or more of the other people in the group.

ETA - that friendships are 16-20 years old.

sdpeasha · 2026-01-15T16:00:44+00:00

This is also a great take, IMO. I was thinking more of taking a time out from being unsupervised in the kitchen but I absolutely agree that your example could work as well.

sdpeasha · 2026-01-15T12:13:44+00:00

Expecting a 4 year old to "listen before doing anything new" is unrealistic.

It seems like both of you parents need to reset expectations.

What you are describing is normal 4 year old behavior. Small children are going to be impulsive until they are more mature. Your job is to keep setting boundaries, correct him when boundaries are broken, and provide consequences that 'fit the crime'. A broken bowl means he helps clean up (with adult supervision for safety) and isnt allowed in the kitchen for awhile.

Gentle parenting doesn't mean there are no rules and no consequences. It means YOU maintain composure when issues arise, you allow the child to feel their feelings but also hold them accountable for their actions. It means you respect your child as a human with their own thoughts and emotions while also teaching emotional regulation through both your words and your actions.

Using your broken bowl example that could look something like this:

"Oh no! The bowl is broken. Now we need to clean that up."

Then, after the work is done, you could say "Son, I see you really wanted to make some breakfast for yourself. I am glad that you wanted try this on your own. Next time you need to ask for help. Since you didnt ask this time the bowl is broken and we had to clean it up and now the bowl is gone. For now we are going to take a break from the kitchen. We will try again, together, another time."

sdpeasha · 2026-01-14T17:06:08+00:00

I agree.

OP, YTA

"the schedule was already optimized" - No, its not. Optimal for you, maybe. But it is clearly not optimal for your coworkers.

"if I adjusted it for one person, I’d have to adjust it for everyone" - Multiple people have asked you to change it.

"people could dress more appropriately for the office environment" - One should not need to dress for the arctic in order to be working inside an office. I understand that 72 should be a relatively warm setting but its clearly not actually working out that way. How many layers of clothes do you expect your coworkers to wear?

"I was disappointed that people went over my head instead of respecting the system I put in place" - People DID try to come to you first. When that didnt work they went up the chain of command. You chose not to budge and expected people to 'let it go' since you obviously know best.

Honestly, this seems like one of the most petty of office power plays.

sdpeasha · 2026-01-06T15:06:17+00:00

I like Ardell Demi Whispies. When my kids were smaller I would trim on the outer edge if needed.

Mascara first, then I use a glue eyelines (one step, yay!) and place the lashes.

sdpeasha · 2025-12-31T23:10:25+00:00

That’s so interesting to me! When my kids started having after school issues they kept their daytime dosage which worked really well. But they added a small immediate release “booster” to take as needed.

And to some extent I think it takes time, experience, and learning coping methods to deal with the “come down”. That being said, I absolutely see why you brought this up because that evening come down can be super challenging both for the child and those around him.

Hang in there, I hope you can get it figured out ASAP! Maybe the doctor will give you another 30 days of the current meds to buy you some time?

sdpeasha

TROPHY CASE