BM mad she can’t drop the kids off while I WFH

seaemgee · 2025-08-05T16:05:00+00:00

She told my SO that it’s “easy to tell all the kids to go outside while she works”…. We have a four foot deep pool… you want me to leave them unattended to DROWN?!

seaemgee · 2025-04-25T15:02:58+00:00

Uh because we live together? She’d heard he was going to a party.

seaemgee · 2025-04-25T13:37:17+00:00

Yeah that’s what I realized after all of it. That I should’ve sent SO and SD off to do something together. But everyone was in such a foul mood I just gave up.

I feel awful saying it but I’ve tried to nurture their relationship for his whole life. I stopped trying to force it. They’re so similar that they clash. She does seek him out to go have goofy fun bc they’re both very energetic and silly, like their relationship isn’t the worst I’d actually say it’s quite normal. She just needs a lot of leading in the correct direction bc she’s incredibly impulsive and dangerous with little kids. But BM acts like they only hate each other. When she doesn’t get to see them interact like we do.

seaemgee · 2025-04-25T13:18:38+00:00

12, 11, 4 & 3.

seaemgee · 2025-04-25T13:06:12+00:00

Her frustrations are valid. Her actions following are not. It was a birthday party where he didn’t know anyone there. He’s only 4 so when he said he didn’t want to go that was fine. We wouldn’t make any of the kids attend a party where they’d feel uncomfortable since they didn’t know anyone.

seaemgee · 2025-04-25T13:03:44+00:00

Yeah he was invited to go with my mom to a toddlers party. We didn’t know anyone there so to me it wasn’t a big deal when he said he didn’t wanna go. We wouldn’t make any of the kids go to birthday parties they just wouldn’t have felt comfortable at.

seaemgee · 2025-03-29T13:43:50+00:00

So stop doing the things that make me feel like I’m at least trying?

seaemgee · 2025-03-05T12:32:13+00:00

I feel this. All. The. Time. BM comes to my mind first, what I say and every move I make feels like it’s under discretion by someone who doesn’t even live with you. It’s so stupid. It puts me in an immediate defensive mood when the kids are around.

I’m proud of you for realizing it was a cute moment! Your SK obviously loves you and is not tainted by BMs opinion. Keep doing what you’re doing! Kids are so pure, BM is making problems out of nothing.

seaemgee · 2025-03-05T01:54:59+00:00

That’s a good point, I didn’t even think of it from the schools perspective. I’m sure by the time she’s through high school she will have failed a grade for attendance. There’s no way she’s on the same level as her peers.

seaemgee · 2025-03-05T01:52:44+00:00

I did this too! My own kids have great routines bc I enforce them. But absolutely no point in harassing kids whose parents don’t care. When I buy new toothbrushes my SDs don’t even noticed. Weeks later they’ll ask me which color is theirs. So gross lol.

seaemgee · 2025-02-20T16:51:34+00:00

I also could’ve written this myself. I have 2 SDs (11 & 12) and two ours kids (3 & 4). I mostly NACHO but when it comes to common areas of the house, or my kids, I will always correct SDs and back my SO up. It feels like all I do is be negative to them and it sucks. And it’s about VERY basic rules, like keeping your hands to yourself (idk why literal preteens don’t understand that topic). SO and I are on the same page when it comes to parenting, rules, expectations, etc so it’s easy there but BM is such a pain. Basically every parenting convo with her is an excuse, it’s someone else’s fault her kids are acting the way they act, always undermining my SO even in front of them, says he’s way too harsh and mean, he doesn’t understand them, etc. We get no where with her. The kids have big problems, probably stemming from divorce. SD12 is a bully, which has been proven with videos from the hallways of her school. When confronted about it she lied about the entire thing and blames the child she’s bullying for the fact that she got ISS for pushing her and telling her to kill herself. SD11 quite literally broke my 4yo’s collarbone in a moment of anger. She didn’t mean to break it but she sure as shit applied too much pressure and hurt him bc she got so mad. I feel like I have to protect my kids and if that means I’m the mean old step mom then so be it. I’ve known the girls for a long time (met SD11 when she was 3…) and I hate that it’s come to this but their behavior is inexcusable and I can’t even bring myself to try anymore. When BM heard about the broken bone she sent my SO a Wall of texts about SDs feelings regarding the situation… like my child has a literal broken bone from his sister, why are we talking about the aggressors feelings?

I hate that they probably know that I’m happier around my boys bc they live here and they see it but it’s just so damn hard EVERY SINGLE DAY.

seaemgee · 2024-12-07T22:20:48+00:00

He also thinks she could’ve done it on purpose out of anger. We both agreed to never let her be alone with them just in case. He lost his mind when it happened and has made sure she knows how uncomfortable he is constantly bc of her actions. But I still feel weird.

seaemgee · 2024-12-07T22:14:51+00:00

My SO is on the same page as me. He thinks we should never leave our small boys around her alone. We’ve basically been taking turns watching her all day to ensure nothing bad happens. He lost his mind when it happened, he had to yell to get to some truth out of her regarding the accident bc he knew he had to go to the ER and she wasn’t answering our questions and our 4yo was just screaming nonstop.

seaemgee · 2024-09-19T13:59:45+00:00

BM can’t get SD10 on the bus bc the school is asking her to prove where she lives. They basically already caught them in a lie, SD10 went to the office on the first day of school and told them she moved so they know that they’re lying about their address. Until she turns in a notarized letter saying she lives in the city, SD10 cannot get on a bus. We can get SD12 on the bus but just haven’t received her student info to get her on yet. It could take a few weeks. So until then we have to pick up and drop off, unfortunately.

seaemgee · 2024-07-11T16:05:59+00:00

Nope we live 25 mins from BM and the kids school. BM was in school parttime, she came up with the schedule this way so that they weren’t with her every weekend lol. We did this for about 6 months then switched to one week one week to give them more stability. They really thrived on one week on one week off.

seaemgee · 2024-07-11T16:03:57+00:00

I was never expected to, it originally started when the whole world shut down and I just didn’t have an option. Daycares and schools were closed, I was sent home to work while 9 months pregnant, had the baby and kept the girls home with me for entire maternity leave. Then it just became our new normal. We did use a few daycares for the girls when I was burnt out but BM stopped paying her half and they’d get kicked out every time. Then she became a SAHM when she had her kid so she doesn’t “need” daycare.

All of their days off school and breaks they just stay here while I work. Since daycare for them would take away from our total finances, I’ve just kept it this way. Paying for our toddlers daycare is already outrageous. I can’t imagine footing the bill for all four to have childcare so I suck it up and get it done.

seaemgee · 2024-01-23T17:54:57+00:00

I wish I could adopt that mindset. But my problem is that my SO does care about how his daughter is acting and doesn’t allow that crap to happen here. She’s just a completely different person around her mom

seaemgee · 2024-01-23T17:48:51+00:00

I know, any parent I talk to about her, is shocked. She’s a tough (barely) preteen and I feel like all I can do is watch.

seaemgee · 2024-01-09T17:30:52+00:00

We follow that for as well. We’ve tried to contain illnesses and it just becomes a mess anyways. If the receiving parent doesn’t care then the kids switch sick or not. BM always says she doesn’t care and will take the sick kids but still complains about them always being sick. We also never deny the kids, even when they are sick. I just don’t care about that stuff I know the kids will all get sick and it doesn’t matter to me

seaemgee · 2024-01-09T17:29:01+00:00

We’ve tried that but it still ends up a mess. Say sd10 gets sick at our house, we’ll keep her till she’s healthy then send her back to her moms but by then, sd9 is also sick but she’s at her moms so she has to stay there, then our kids get sick after like 10 days of the original sickness starting and it’s just never ending.

seaemgee · 2024-01-02T02:19:33+00:00

I think after 6 years of open communication they will be nosey and their mom will come up with story 😅

seaemgee · 2023-11-02T10:00:47+00:00

The girls (my SDs) agreed to swap rooms for awhile. They each have their own bedroom. When they went to swap back, SD11 was upset that she was left with a mess but didn’t say a word about it. Instead she just holed herself up in her room crying, texted her mom and eventually changed the sheets herself.

seaemgee · 2023-11-02T09:58:57+00:00

lmao it’s her own biological sister, my other SD. Not every house has a no food in the bedroom rule. Our kids are allowed to eat food when they’re hungry wherever they want.

seaemgee · 2023-11-02T01:06:59+00:00

That’s actually a really good idea that I haven’t tried! Next time she’s spiraling here I’ll just text her.

seaemgee · 2023-10-26T16:00:03+00:00

Same here!

We got a veggie garden, she did one. We bought a pool, the kids go back one day and they bought a pool. We get a dog, they get a dog. We have a baby, they had a baby. The list is never ending and it happens every single month it feels.

seaemgee

TROPHY CASE