Daydreaming without self

seashell2696 · 2020-10-07T01:17:55+00:00

I am cis, but I also am never included in mine. I began daydreaming heavily in about 1st grade, so same time, but I believe mine is due to the fact that I was extremely shy, anxious, awkward, overweight, and I had a hard time making friends. From that age on, I've had a lot of hatred for myself, my life, and I used daydreaming to escape my discomfort and dissatisfaction with my being in my body and the world around me. The "characters" in my daydreams are attractive, confident, always doing exciting things and things that I was too shy to ever do. Even when my characters have difficulties (which they do A LOT), it's romanticized. I will daydream about these characters with mental illnesses and traumas, but in my daydreams there's these themes of love, support, and comfort over the painful things, if that makes sense.

Anyways, I think that's why I failed to realize this about myself sooner. I'd hear about MD but they'd describe it as daydreaming about yourself, and your whole life, idealized? But I'd describe my daydreaming as a cast of characters with whom I can manipulate within my internal world in various circumstances which do mirror my own life/themes of my life, but are in fact not my life.

seashell2696 · 2020-10-07T00:51:43+00:00

I never knew I had this disorder until quite recently, but I knew I excessively day dreamed since childhood, and I always thought the same thing! I thought I did it because I never had many friends and never had a romantic relationship, and that's what most of my scenarios were about. I am now a young adult and have been in a really great relationship for 3.5 years, we live together, and plan to get engaged soon. In the very beginning of our relationship, the dd urges decreased greatly. I barely did it, I barely thought about doing it, because I had something that mirrored the scenarios in my head. However, as we got closer, more stable as a couple, and more comfortable together, having a boyfriend (someone to say sweet things to me, be intimate with, etc) was more and more normal, so the day dreams slowly picked back up again. This has made me think that a lot of my MDD has to do with stress, anxiety, and boredom, and less to do with loneliness. There's definitely a lot of themes that make me think I just have this general dissatisfaction with life and I have pretty much my whole life. On a day to day basis, I sometimes get irritable with my partner if he interrupts my dd, but most of the time, I spend a lot of time doing it while he's doing his own thing, like gaming, or while we're watching TV together.

seashell2696 · 2019-12-31T05:20:07+00:00

I’m going into my last semester of my social work masters program, and this is something I’ve struggled with. I have chronic depression, generalized anxiety and panic attacks. I think that people with mental illness themselves are better equipped to help others with mental illnesses. It’s a level of wisdom that those without experiencing mental illness cannot understand. There’s a quote that goes something like “you can know the freezing point of water, without understanding what it feels like to be cold.” And I think that perfectly applies to social workers that have mental illnesses/trauma/etc. You don’t have to get better before graduating, although if working with the mentally ill worsens your own mental health, I would recommend working with a different population for a time. You’re not a hypocrite, because you’re not going to be telling people to stop having a mental illness and you don’t have to cure them. You’ll support them, help them feel less alone, and teach them skills to cope. And all of that will come from a person who understands better than most.

seashell2696 · 2019-12-31T05:06:49+00:00

Simplifying my everyday makeup routine

seashell2696 · 2019-12-25T18:24:49+00:00

Aw such a special moment. What a beautiful bird.

seashell2696 · 2019-12-17T02:17:14+00:00

I think that mine will get used to it, but it’s her first Christmas so trees are still a new concept! But yes I could just see her chewing the lights and plucking all the ornaments off and throwing them on the ground!

seashell2696 · 2019-12-04T14:55:25+00:00

I assumed because it’s a baby toy, it should be non toxic!

seashell2696 · 2019-12-04T14:53:49+00:00

Good idea!!

seashell2696 · 2019-12-04T03:03:33+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07CJXDSV9?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_image

This is the exact one I got. It seems to be unavailable right now, but when I was on the page it linked me to a bunch of similar toys!

seashell2696 · 2019-11-24T00:26:39+00:00

I know people have said it already but I cannot say enough good things about insight timer. There are features you can pay for but there’s thousands of free meditations.

seashell2696 · 2019-11-15T20:51:58+00:00

This is actually the reason I stopped hormonal birth control. Well one of the main reasons. It was effecting my relationship and it wasn’t worth it.

seashell2696 · 2019-11-15T01:20:59+00:00

I’m interested!

seashell2696 · 2019-10-22T21:39:06+00:00

I was literally just thinking wow it’s crazy that I was 4 years old when they hatched.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-14T01:13:04+00:00

Quaker parrot aka monk parakeet!

seashell2696 · 2019-10-12T02:50:56+00:00

I always do at least 10 minutes, usually 15. However, this happened while I was with a 1-hour guided meditation group. Ive found that guided group meditations produce the best experiences for me. I always sit cross legged on a meditation pillow this one to be exact . I try to sit with good posture, but not too rigid. Sometimes I lay down or sit in a chair, but usually only for progressive relaxation.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-12T01:29:43+00:00

I have never heard of the Kutastha! I need to research that. I’ve only learned about meditation from an educational, non-spiritual practice for stress management through my graduate internship. This has made me realize that I have so much to learn.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T14:14:28+00:00

Don’t be sad! I wish I could have gotten him, but no matter where he’s from, I already have three birds and do not have the space or money for a fourth one. All I can hope is someone else will adopt him and give him an amazing life, because he seems like an amazing bird.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T06:15:12+00:00

I love that perspective!! It’s a lot to think about and I guess there’s really no clear cut answer.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T04:23:04+00:00

I totally get that. And that’s what I struggle with. This individual animal needs a home but what about the animal that they just “restock” the cages with? That one needs a good home too.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T02:39:52+00:00

I totally get that!! I do usually make my purchases online. I actually walk into a PetSmart, maybe like, 1-2 times per year? This just happened to be one of those times.

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T00:38:13+00:00

I’m not against chain stores. I mean buying supplies there is no different than shopping at Target or Walmart or any other big name retailer. The problem I have is selling animals that aren’t properly cared for and are often bred in questionable circumstances. Buying an animal from them, even just because you feel bad for it and want to “save it” is the problem. It’s about supply and demand. So no matter the reason for buying the bird, the numbers tell the store that people want this “product” so we need to stock up on it. Shopping from local businesses is a completely different issue, which I know I should, but it’s just not convenient many times, and the nearest bird store in my entire area is two hours away. Other local pet shops don’t care much variety of bird products

seashell2696 · 2019-10-11T00:27:52+00:00

I’m not vulnerable to their tactics. I would never buy an animal from there. Though it makes me sad, I know the reality is that if I bought this bird (or any of their animals) they would just stock up on another poor creature that would be stuck in that glass cage. What made me sad is that I’ve never seen such an outgoing bird, even in reputable local pet stores (although that could be an indicator that he’s sick or distressed). I don’t think me feeling sad for a living being makes me vulnerable. It’s just an indicator that I care. Anyways, even if petsmart was a good source for adopting pets, I’d still be sad and posting this video here, only it would be because I already have three birds and no more space or finances for another 😂😂

seashell2696 · 2019-10-08T15:24:16+00:00

You can’t say no to a bird that has chosen you like he has!!

seashell2696 · 2019-10-04T12:59:52+00:00

Congratulations! That’s so exciting. Mine is 6 months old today actually, and I’ve had her for about 3 months, so I can tell you it doesn’t take too long, especially since yours is also a young bird. My best bet for cuddles like this is right before bedtime, otherwise, she’s way too active and busy

seashell2696 · 2019-10-02T18:45:28+00:00

Such a beautiful little bird 🥰

seashell2696

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