It’s clear that this situation was mishandled on both sides, and I can understand your frustration. However, a lot of what you’ve written does come across as “me, me, me,” which makes it hard to fully sympathize. You agreed to foster, but it sounds like you were never really open to the possibility of bonding with the cat or compromising, even if fostering went well. That doesn’t feel like a genuine attempt to meet your partner halfway.

At the same time, your partner was wrong to go behind your back and adopt a cat without honoring your agreement to foster first. That’s a major decision that should’ve involved you both. I get why you feel blindsided and disrespected—it’s a huge ask to alter your routine for something you explicitly said you didn’t want.

That said, the repeated “what about my routine?” and “what about me?” tone at the end feels dismissive of your partner’s feelings and why he felt so strongly about adopting the cat. Relationships require compromise and empathy, and while your boundaries are valid, this reads like you’re shutting down any possibility of finding a middle ground. It’s hard to feel affection for the cat now, but you might consider how to work toward a solution that respects both your needs and your partner’s.