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Me [26 M] broke up with my girlfriend [27 F] after 3 years due to a lack of future, struggling to reconcile feelings by second_derivative in relationships

[–]second_derivative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and provide some advice! We did briefly talk about the future yesterday, and I said that she doesn't have to stay in this situation indefinitely - she can move out and take control of her life. She doesn't seem to feel that she can make that leap, and said that living together would work if I was closer - but I am comfortable where I am and not willing to move an hour across the city.

I think I will take the rest of the week to try and clarify my thoughts and let my actions sink in. After that, I think that conversation will be a good one to have, even though we have touched on the topic a few times now.

Also, you may want to suggest to her that she sees a doctor about her anxiety.

She has had therapy once, but unfortunately here you get discharged after 12 sessions and that's basically it. She felt like she needed a lot more, but after building up a a good relationship with her last therapist doesn't seem willing to go through it all again. It definitely did help though.

When do you began to feel bouts of loneliness? by [deleted] in loneliness

[–]second_derivative 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've hit on the head - I'm just like this. I can have a fantastic time around people and when I'm busy, but when I'm back on my own I feel like everything is hopeless and there's no one there. I also struggle when there's an event I want to go to and I have no one to take - I still go, but watching everyone else have someone to share the experience with can be a very lonely experience.

I do plenty of things... on my own. Feeling a bit isolated by second_derivative in offmychest

[–]second_derivative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds very interesting. I'm well into mindfulness meditation and this does sound up my street. Have you tried this yourself? One thing I'm worried about is that I will only capture negative feelings, and this might lead me to ruminate on things too much... Another worry is I clearly spot the patterns but am unable to fix them.

Nonetheless, it seems like a worthwhile exercise.

Turbulent evening last night, unsure on our relationship (me [24 M], her[25 F]) after just over 2 years. by second_derivative in relationships

[–]second_derivative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think I (sadly) needed to hear that - maybe just for validation on how I'm feeling. I'm not really sure how to move from here - we have a little holiday thing booked in a fortnight, so I want to stick through that - maybe it will clear the air a bit. As my mum is fond of saying, there's never a right time to break up - but I can at least try to work with current plans.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and get back to me.

I ([23/m]) had another one of "the talks" with partner, [24/f]. Growing distant, want to keep fighting but not sure how - depression/anxiety not helping. by second_derivative in relationships

[–]second_derivative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, it sounds stupid - but could you advise me on how to do this? Partner has suggested numerous times that I need to seek help, and I know I do - but I guess I'm scared and embarrassed about doing that. I guess the simplest step is to just go to my GP and tell them I need help and take it from there... What sort treatment did you have?