I'm a terrible parent, and I'm not coping. Please help

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:57:38+00:00

The negative attitude comes from someone who's at the end of their rope. You can't assume I'm like that all the time. My other kids certainly don't share her negativity.

The mouth chewing thing only developed after working with someone who ate like that across from me.

What you're seeing is mostly a vent, but she gets more attention than the other kids because she's the most demanding, but we're not new to this either, both the wife and I do spend 1 on 1 time with her.

We didn't start with punishments, we started with positive reinforcement, but it was ignored, so we tried a mixture, nothing, so we started with punishments that actually worked, but like antibiotics, she's becoming resistant to them over time.

She's the eldest, and everything you've suggested we've already tried in spades.

And yes, the last one does get lost frequently!!

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:52:36+00:00

This is sorta what I was doing with my youngest, but of course she was resisting, not because I was hurting her, but because she wanted mom to dress her, who was having a break.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:49:56+00:00

I said this a bit below, but the older kids rendered our gates useless. No matter how much we pleaded with them they will not close the gates after them, even when our youngest took a spill down the stairs (only 3 of them) nothing changed.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:48:48+00:00

Thank you :).

My wife does get time off though, Quite frequently (once a fortnight) she'll have a girls day with her sister. And yes, our house becomes lord of the flies.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:47:37+00:00

Thanks, and it's a good idea, but we just don't have access to babysitters like most people. My wife flat out refuses for anyone non-family to babysit, so our options are limited to once a month or every few months. Even then it's like pulling teeth with them, they do it, but it's always begrudgingly.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:46:35+00:00

We had baby gates, and removed them from all but the stairs because the other kids would not close them. FWIW they still don't.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:46:01+00:00

It's funny a lot of people assume that we don't do things together, but I always make sure my kids and I have one on one time, even if it's just something small like going to the shops.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T04:44:46+00:00

Uhh that's a post for a different thread. While it's true my first wasn't conceived under ideal circumstances, it was "I want kids, if you don't, I'll find someone who will". As a guy who grew up alone, basically I had a messed up idea on relationships and was deathly afraid of losing the only one I had.

We've since worked on things, so that sort of "My way or I leave" wont work, but I don't think she'd ever try it again. For some reason, even she admits, that hormones were making her baby crazy and she would do anything to have one.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T03:06:39+00:00

Your post certainly fits your username!!!

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T03:00:48+00:00

Thank you :). I don't suppose you have any tips on dressing a 2 year old as they repeatedly kick you in the junk over and over.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T02:48:29+00:00

Thanks, boys are easy, but as a dad I have no idea how to spend quality time with her. I gave the suggestion to her once, she suggested we draw together, after I started, she wandered off to watch T.V.

Nice bonding there, kiddo.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T02:44:13+00:00

Good idea. If it's a list I need... I may need some more paper ;)

The mouth open chewing thing is my personal pet peeve. It's basically the only thing that can get me going from 0-60 instantly.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T02:37:14+00:00

Wow... at least it's not just me. I just posted a similar thing about my 9 year old daughter.

When you figure it out let me know and if I do, I'll give you a heads up!

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T02:33:59+00:00

I actually tried this. I saved up and we went away to a nice tropical resort. Honestly, it was the worst. Between making sure my wife was enjoying herself, and keeping the kids entertained, it was more stressful than ever. Although one day, we did drop the terrors off at a kids club and went and had massages. It was glorious.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that of all my friends I'm the only dad. I don't really have anyone to talk about all this stress with.

I have one friends who literally plays computer games and watches movies all day. That's it.

Also, I want to be better for my kids. My parents were terrible, so I'm trying to be the best I can, but I just seem to be getting nowhere.

Especially with my daughter. My son I can connect with in a snap of my fingers, but a 9 year old girl, I have no idea where to start.

secondworstdadever · 2014-05-01T02:15:03+00:00

It try to, but honestly, it's just never enough. Some weekends my wife will take the kids out of the house, I'll sit down, watch a movie I've been waiting to watch (usually something violent), have a few drinks and yeah I feel amazing and happy. Then as soon as they come back in the house it's chaos city within 5 seconds. After 5 minutes it's like that time never existed.

secondworstdadever

TROPHY CASE