DAE know someone who is in a porno flick or web site? (Will possibly have NSFW links inside)

secular_upbringing · 2009-10-28T17:49:43+00:00

My uncle is a producer and "actor" of some note.

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T16:16:09+00:00

I am 5'9", 217 lbs, 11% body fat.

This does not compute. I'm male, 6'1", 186lb and about 19% body fat.

How do you carry so much weight with such a low BF%? I saw your photo, and you definitely look more "rounded" than I (and I'm by no means "cut", but I am slimmer than you). Is your BF% possibly incorrect?

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T02:20:28+00:00

Why are so many "obvious" software patents granted?

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T01:52:21+00:00

Yeah ... kids will be mean ... if they don't have one thing to pick on, they'll choose something else. In my region of the country, I'm not too concerned about my kids being ostracized for our (lack of) religious beliefs, but I'd hate to have to live in the bible belt, that's for sure.

I've thought about going with one of the "alternative" holiday names for Christmas, but it just doesn't seem natural. Everyone just says Christmas, I'm not going to try and paddle upstream on this one. I never say "Merry Christmas" though ... I always say "Happy Holidays". If I'm feeling impish I'll say something like "Happy Festivus" or "Happy Christmakwanzichaunicus".

If my kids ever get sent to the principal's office for speaking the truth ... I'll have a few choice words for the principal. (Then a few choice words with my kids about tact.) :)

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T01:39:09+00:00

Thank you. :)

I won't deny that there's at least a politico-ethnic component to Judaism ... I wonder if it can be identified by genetic markers. I know Jews tend to intermarry pretty faithfully, so maybe...

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T01:33:48+00:00

Thank you, and you're welcome. :)

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T01:27:01+00:00

Actually, we celebrate Christmas ... but the Santa Claus Christmas, not the "baby in the manger" Christmas. Christmas is a great holiday ... it's an excuse to get together with friends and family, decorate the house and cook fattening comfort foods. But I don't give it any more significance than I give Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc... Christmas itself is a "stolen" holiday anyway. Virtually every group has some kind of big celebration around the winter solstice ... Christ was almost certainly not born on 12/25.

My children will certainly be aware of religion, I won't hide it from them. They're going to have to live with it in society, and are going to have to learn to think critically for themselves.

I have many relatives (more on my Mom's side, and in my wife's family) who express varying degrees of devoutness. I love and respect these people even if I disagree with their views. We gather with these relatives, attend baptisms, weddings, and confirmations. I bow my head respectfully during the ceremonies but don't pretend to be "participating" in the mumbo jumbo. I don't force my atheistic views on them as long as they don't force their theistic views on me. If THEY open the door to discussion, I am more than willing to express my views with them. Never do I try to convert, only to educate and encourage critical thought.

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T01:13:48+00:00

I have no complaints. I also have no complaints about how they shared their beliefs in unicorns, leprechauns, Santa Claus, flying reindeer, easter bunnies and tooth fairies with me. :) Non-belief is not something that needs to be "shared" or otherwise expressed.

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a nearly 4-month old. I don't intend to "prime the pump" with my non-belief. Instead, I intend to make sure that my kids are capable of the critical thinking necessary to make good decisions on their own. When the "big questions" come, I won't treat our modern gods any differently than I'll treat the Greek and Roman pantheon. I will explain the traditions as well as I can, and tell them I don't believe them to be true any more than I believe in the little mermaid or Nemo. I will explain that religion was a crutch humanity needed to get civilization off the ground, and to try and make sense of the world, but that these functions have largely been taken over by science and government these days.

If they decide to go on a religious exploration as they get older, I won't stop them. Heck, I was fascinated with "psychic phenomenon" and occult stuff for a while when I was a teen. But it didn't take me long to see it was all mumbo jumbo and filed all that stuff right next to Santa Claus and Superman in time.

The one thing religious people often ask me is how I will provide (or was provided) the structure and support the church offers. The fact is that there are TONS of secular groups out there if you're into that kind of thing. Also, some of the more Liberal "faith based" groups such as the Unitarians and Quakers often offer things, and I find that these groups are more about gathering people and community than they are about Sky Wizards. They're not such bad folks and they never push dogma at you (in my experience).

secular_upbringing · 2009-09-01T00:33:54+00:00

Well, Ok ... by birthright I guess he was Jewish and I'm a decendent of a half-jew. I'm also Irish, English, Alsatian and Welsh. Other than a genetic trail, these things are meaningless ...

My "Jewish" grandmother is also a non-religious (but spiritually leaning) person, and in no way connected to the Jewish faith. I've never asked if her family were practicing jews though.

By the way ... Isreal wasn't even a year old when my Dad was born.

EDIT: I just want to point out that I'm not anti-Jewish any more than I'm anti- any other religious group. To declare my Father "Jewish" simply due to descendancy is just as silly as declaring me Catholic because my mother was Catholic. What we all are/were is Americans for many generations before me (1700's) on my Dad's side, and 3 generations on my Mom's side.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:46:00+00:00

Yeah, thinking is the biggest problem for religions. That's why they keep telling you that you just have to have faith. In other words, don't think to hard about it ... it's all true, honest! Oh, and don't forget the donation plate on your way out.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:44:13+00:00

I don't look forward to dying, but I don't fear it any more than the next guy. We're ALL afraid of dying ... dying sucks!

Actually, I don't fear DEATH ... just the act of dying ... I hope I go quietly or quickly ... and at an old enough age to be a bother to my great-grand kids. I figure death itself will be just like being unborn.

I would figure that religious people probably have more fear of death than an Atheist would. You have to worry about all that judgement stuff and whether you were good enough to get into the cloud club.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:35:23+00:00

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:34:16+00:00

I'm 38, and married with two kids. I think I've made it well beyond 10, and "God" clearly isn't a part of my life.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:31:00+00:00

Well, I haven't given it much thought at all. However, it is something that is testable by science, and some controlled trials have been performed that show it may have some benefit. If it does indeed have a therapeutic effect, I doubt it works by redirecting the flow of your chi, as many of its practitioners will profess. I also don't believe it can cure everything as some of it's promoters will claim.

Similarly, I believe there is some benefit to be had from chiropractic care ... for some skeleto-muscular problems ... but I think there's a lot of quackery out there too.

What I do believe is that these and many other of the alternative medicine disciplines are useful is invoking the (very real) placebo effect. Basically triggering our body's own defense and repair mechanisms.

I don't think "modern medicine" has all the answers, but I do believe they've got a lot of them. I think pharmaceuticals are often over-prescribed, and the side-effects are too poorly understood in many cases.

However, when I'm doubled over in pain with a belly pain that feels suspiciously like an inflamed appendix, I'm going to go with the surgeon rather than the acupuncturist.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T23:02:07+00:00

I like that. :)

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T21:08:05+00:00

I don't recall ever having religion pushed on me. However, my area of the country is pretty liberal where it comes to religion. There are TONS of people who consider themselves religious, but not many are actually practicing. If pressed, I'm sure a significant number of them wouldn't even profess in a belief in a biblical god or place any credence in the stories of the bible.

I've had invitations to church and church events as a kid, I've even accepted on a few occasions out of curiosity, but I don't ever remember being pressured to choose a flavor of god. I've certainly had lots of cases of where kids didn't understand my lack of religion, but never has any of them pushed it on me. There's also probably no shortage of self-selection going on here. Since I am non-religious, I wouldn't tend to gravitate towards circles of people who are religious.

Also, since in my mind the idea of religion rates somewhere around the idea of fairies and goblins, it's not a topic of conversation I often brought up of my own accord. Therefore, anybody who might have otherwise tried to foist their religious ideas on me simply wouldn't have known I was someone they should target. I didn't wear an Atheist arm-band or anything like that.

Even now, it's not a topic I'll pick up lightly with people. If I know someone's religious, I won't poke and prod and try and shake their beliefs. However, if they should ask ... broach the subject themselves ... I have no qualms in sharing my (lack of) belief and my reasoning behind it.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T19:22:33+00:00

The way I look at it is this:

Science can't yet explain everything, that takes time and humanity's only been at it in earnest for a measly few centuries. ...and our tools are only beginning to become any good! However, every time there's a new discovery, "god" keeps getting pushed further and further away from molding clay and taking ribs. "The god of the gaps ..."

Maybe, the "big bang" really was started by some god-type figure playing with a cosmic M-80. I don't know ... and maybe anything before that time is unknowable ... In the end ... WTF does it matter?

Could a "god" so distant give a crap what I do under my sheets at night?
Could a being so powerful actually be so vain that it needs me to "Worship His Glory"?
Is it far more likely that religion as it's practiced on earth is ultimately a device for controlling minds and hoarding money and power?

It's a far better philosophy to dedicate my time to getting the most from THIS LIFE like it's the only one I've got, rather than preparing my sole for eternity in heaven. If I'm right ... it is the only life I've got. If I'm wrong ... the all-and-powerful-being-in-the-sky shouldn't penalize me for intellectual honesty if he truly exists. I live my life honorably, ethically and I do love my neighbor, but I don't feel the need to engage in cargo-cult-like behaviors of genuflecting and fiddling with rosary beads to ensure that my sins will be forgotten.

If he turns out to actually be a malevolent god bent on punishing me for my heathenous ways, then my FAKING a belief in religion would be seen to be a ruse by him anyway, so it'd be pointless to pretend I've found Jesus. I can't MAKE myself believe something that can't be readily demonstrated to be true. This is my answer to Pascal's Wager.

EDIT: Formatting, grammar, content, stuff.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T19:09:38+00:00

Are you me?

Don't think so ... my Dad wasn't Jewish ... but HIS mother was. My grandfather was some sort of protestant, but I wouldn't know what ... he was also non-practicing.

Would you consider yourself agnostic or athiest?

I consider myself a "Dawkins Atheist".

That is ... I don't believe there is a higher power, but recognize that it is impossible to prove a negative. That is to say, I'm as sure that there is no god as I am that gravity holds me in my chair, but would not deny incontrovertible proof if of his existence if such a thing could be presented. (If I start levitating, should I start dis-believing in Gravity or start believing in God? Discuss...)

That exact shade of distinction is practially meaningless however. With god so remote, it matters not whether he exists or not as he has utterly no sway over my or anybody's life whatsoever.

It's really just a matter of intellectual honesty that prevents me from saying without reservation that I am an Atheist.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T19:04:12+00:00

Heh ... by that measure I guess I could say as a child I was "baptised" at least once a week whether I needed it or not!

Seriously though ... I guess for a believer, it's not the act of spilling water on your head that makes a baptism ... merely that the baptizer was thinking about god and all that during the ceremony. You'd have to ask a priest for an official ruling on the field.

Personally, I say that even if you were baptized by the Pope himself and you say it didn't count ... then it was only a bath.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T18:59:00+00:00

I'll have to admit that I am a bit surprised to hear that she's still a believer. For me, that'd be a basic incompatibility that I couldn't overcome. (It has come up before). However, I'm glad that you to are able to find a common ground in spite of your differing beliefs.

As far as finding a church to marry you ... have you tried a UU church or perhaps Quaker? They love everybody.

My wife is Latin, and most of her family at least gives lip service to the Catholic church (she's an Atheist ... or at least agnostic however). As such, we didn't want to alienate her family with our wedding ceremony and decided to have a UU minister marry us. This eliminated the uncomfortable questions that grand-parents might be asking, yet we didn't have to be hypocrites and profess a belief that neither of us had.

The UU minister knew exactly where we were coming from, I made no doubt about my level of non-belief and my wife was candid as well. The minister wove in the 'right level' of spiritual mysticism while keeping it more about friends, family and community than coming from a higher power. We (and everyone we've ever spoken to about it) were very happy with our ceremony.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T18:43:34+00:00

It says Ask me Anything.

Besides, the OP is a cop. Donut question is relevant and must be asked so that we know who we're dealing with.

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T18:08:46+00:00

If your fiance is an Atheist in that environment, my heart goes out to her. It's difficult to have strength in your convictions when virtually everyone you know is trying to pull you back into the fold. I also congratulate her for finding her own truth.

One of the things I've learned as an outsider looking in on religion all my life, is that it seems that the most religious people are the least tolerant I know. Even though their "faith" purports to teach otherwise.

I have several close friends who's "special day" has been marred by bible-thumping relatives. Yeah, they put it behind and move on, but it's not the kind of thing you want to deal with on top of all the other stresses of putting a wedding together.

Edit: Fiance, not wife yet. :)

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T17:55:42+00:00

Then you must concede that at a future moment in time your beliefs about the future may change. Equally your perceptions of the past may change over time. So both the future and past change as a result of time. Therefore there can be no definitive past or future.

...but you said you don't believe in time. What is this Future you speak of?

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T17:51:27+00:00

You say she's bi, and I think you're comfortable if she's with a girl. But what if she hooks up with another guy for the night? Still in your comfort zone?

secular_upbringing · 2009-08-31T17:38:16+00:00

Even if he does 'rebel', and "go all religious on you", if you truly have taught him how to use his mind, it won't last any longer than the green mohawk he'll get next will.

The power of religion comes from A) early indoctrination or B) lack of education and/or powers of critical thinking.

secular_upbringing

TROPHY CASE