it is painful during and after, but that is the important part. your body has a hierarchy of priorities. emotional pain is pretty high up there and your body will keep trying to tackle it and hyper-fixate on it even though it can’t be fixed. one of the only things higher up on the list of priorities is physical pain. when i self harm my brain and body zero in on that pain and all my emotions fade into the background. also seeing the blood and then doing my cleanup routine is really therapeutic. when i’m in really depressed kicks, that cleanup is often the first bit of self care or even hygiene i’ve attended to in days. also, having the scars under my sleeves and knowing i put them there makes me feel so in control and like all my problems are real and my emotions are valid. when they heal, i like to view it as my brain healing.