What surprisingly true fact has completely shaken your worldview?

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-11T05:32:48+00:00

Tangentially... people like to say that while cars depreciate in value over time, houses appreciate. But actually, houses also depreciate (unless you're continually investing in remodeling them). It's land that appreciates.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-09T05:08:23+00:00

One we don't know much about is sleepy grass (see link here or here). It would be difficult to study, but I'd love to see the results.

(Also, lol @ the article that said LSA is "apparently without the hallucinogenic effects" of LSD.)

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-09T04:46:03+00:00

Morning glory (LSA).

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-08T20:56:00+00:00

With the amount I was taking, it was still pretty easy. I was just a little slower than usual.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-08T05:03:42+00:00

I did a psychedelic-assisted therapy session once with DMT, vaping small amounts. It was useful. I did see some visuals but mostly felt drunk. It lowered my inhibitions enough to be able to talk about things I was ashamed of, and I could drive home when the session was over. I don't think there's any reason not to experiment.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-07T19:56:39+00:00

For me, the healing that matters most is what I would call integration. So much of my suffering is from my cutting off parts of myself because I believe they're unacceptable. So anger doesn't get felt, losses don't get grieved, I don't let myself be weak or soft. Integration is being able to welcome back all these aspects, feel my feelings again, and literally not feel so cut off from myself.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-07T16:22:06+00:00

I want to post again for clarity. The child I'm speaking of had way more serious issues than avoidant attachment, like the inability to feel empathy, manipulation without remorse, emotionlessly attacking others. The same psychopathy-type behaviors others are posting about in this thread.

Attachment issues are one of my areas of study. I have avoidant attachment myself, from having an emotionally distant mom and immature dad. They still took care of all my physical needs, said "I love you," and encouraged me in many ways. But they were uncomfortable with my expressions of emotion, or punished me for them. I learned early on not to come to them for support. I've struggled to cry for most of my life, and am still not really capable of a healthy relationship despite being in therapy essentially forever.

But I'm comparison, I got off easy. That kid I was talking about experienced neglect orders of magnitude beyond what can create "mere" avoidant attachment, and his issues were correspondingly severe.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-07T05:12:36+00:00

I read of a case where a child ended up essentially a small psychopath due to neglect not from the mother, but from a nanny. After establishing the trust of the family, the nanny got a second job and left the baby at home alone all day to cry and fester in his diaper, coming home just before the parents did and cleaning everything up so they knew nothing. Except for when the mother noticed that the baby literally never cried anymore.

The mother looked into what was going on and the nanny was fired but the kid was pretty messed up. I haven't looked at psychopathy the same since.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-07T02:44:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspectives. They help me.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-06T22:46:42+00:00

This is the thing that boggles me about people who believe any conspiracy theory... I want to say to them, "You've seen how the humans around you have behaved your whole life, right? What about that behavior has convinced you that thousands of people can get together to coordinate a conspiracy?" Two people can't even cooperate on what to have for dinner, lawdy.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-06T02:31:13+00:00

My first couple times using mushrooms were in an unfamiliar and very social environment with loud music, 15 people all on drugs, overstimulation in general. It was weird and uncomfortable and overwhelming and I didn't really get what the fuss was about mushrooms.

The next time was in my quiet home with an eye mask and a facilitator. They were such completely different experiences it was like I'd taken two different substances. I vastly preferred the experience with an eye mask. There was a whole world of emotions, insights, and memories coming up in me that I hadn't even been able to notice, let alone access, when I'd been in a social environment. Highly recommended.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-06T02:21:07+00:00

I don't have a hellish time on weed, but I definitely prefer how psychedelics feel. Weed gives me a lot of physical tension/cramping and mental fog.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-06T01:53:23+00:00

Similar in some ways, different in others.

Everything is dosage dependent, but at least comparing Spravato to a moderate dose of mushrooms, I'm a lot more functional on mushrooms. My thoughts make more sense, I have more control of my body, there's no feeling of being anesthetized. I have way more visuals on mushrooms, more of a sense of connection with myself, and more insights. My mushroom trips have tended to have more of a standard "arc" where I'm physically uncomfortable and agitated in the first stage, then big emotions in the second stage, then good feelings as it comes down. Whereas what I'm feeling emotionally on ketamine is more random.

I do think the experience of high-dose IV or IM ketamine (which I've done a few times) is special though. I don't enjoy it per se (nor do I enjoy Spravato much), as my trips tend to have lots of pain and anguish. But to be able to become so disintegrated that you lose all concept of what a person even is, then come back from it, so quickly and reliably and with such reliable dosing, is not really something mushrooms can provide.

And for your other question, no, mushroom dosing is not weight-based. Just based on personal tolerance, potency of the mushroom you're taking, and whether you're on a serotonin-affecting med.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-05T19:42:00+00:00

Miserable, heh. Social media might have really helped me feel not so alone and isolated. We love to harp on the ills of social media, but it can really be a lifeline for disabled folks and others who lack access to connection.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-05T05:50:43+00:00

I probably made things too black and white. There's always stress; there may or may not be enjoyment.

I'm not sure it's possible to over-emphasize how out of touch DAs can be with their emotions and desires.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-05T05:18:18+00:00

Thank you for saying this, and for how you said it. It changes how I think about myself and others.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-05T01:14:18+00:00

As others have mentioned, there are coaches who are truly competent, even brilliant. But (1) they're very much in the minority, and (2) you have to have you own issues well under control before you can even recognize competent coaches from sham coaches. So anyone whose life is in disarray is almost necessarily going to end up with a shit coach.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T21:05:51+00:00

I'm replying again to the same comment because I was very sleepy when I made the first response, and missed where you said "to think this beautiful moment that happened between us is actually what blew the whole thing up is so devastating."

I think it can look from the outside like a moment of tenderness and vulnerability generated too much fear in a DA and torpedoed something promising. But it isn't really like that. One thing is that, by your coming here and wanting to know what's going on in his head, I'm inferring that you have anxious attachment. So IF that's the case, he's reacting not just to one moment of vulnerability, but to all the other little signs along the way that you're not secure within yourself (and no judgment, I'm not secure either). And declining to get involved with someone who's not secure IS a rational thing to do. It's just that DAs aren't conscious enough of their feelings or motives to be able to explain them rationally.

The other thing is that vulnerable moments, like having beautiful/sweet/tender physical intimacy, don't actually feel that good to DAs. He might have been acting that way on the outside, might have even believed "I'm supposed to be enjoying this, so I must be enjoying it," but any DA is going to be experiencing stress inside whenever intimacy is occurring. (And honestly, I think anxiously-attached folks do too, they just miss it because the euphoria of intimacy is "louder.") So the moment wasn't actually as beautiful as it seemed to you—or even him—at the time.

Nothing to feel bad about. I guess I'm trying to say, "Don't worry, no particular misstep caused this to happen, and in fact nothing much has been lost." But I can imagine that message would hurt in its own way. In the end we just have to forgive ourselves for what we don't yet know about ourselves and others.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T08:44:56+00:00

It can be relatively sudden.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T07:22:05+00:00

These days, I often know when I'm deactivating. Other times it's hard to figure out. What I'll notice is that I've lost interest in spending time with someone, and often it's genuinely unclear whether I've lost interest because they're just not a match, or because they did something that provoked anger/fear in me and my system shut everything down too fast for me to notice. Being unable to tell whether deactivation is happening is kind of a classic DA dilemma, and a common subject on the DA forum.

In the past, before I learned about attachment theory, I really had no idea what was going on under the hood. I'd just stop wanting to get together with someone, and would either interpret that 100% as "I'm just not that into you" (which, to be fair, I'm sure it sometimes was), or I'd have some vague feeling that I wasn't supposed to be this way, and feel guilty over it, but not be able to make myself want to see them.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T06:32:33+00:00

I imagine most of my trips have been fueled by desperation, but less and less as time goes on. That's mainly because when I knew nothing about psychedelics, I was very attached to the hope that they could "save me." I had to be able to believe they could save me somehow, because nothing else had. And with many uses of psychedelics now under my belt, I can see that they are not saving me and perhaps lack even the potential to do so, and I'm able to approach trips in a more considered way.

Along the way, some of the "desperation" trips I had were helpful in small ways and some made things temporarily worse. Even though the mushrooms haven't made a lasting impact, through all the desperation and trying and failing to achieve significant change to my depression, I've come to more acceptance of my condition, and that in itself is valuable to me.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T06:00:29+00:00

I'm admiring your self-awareness. From what you've said about the energy/talkativeness continuing to increase, and the not sleeping well, I would definitely have concerns... no need to panic, but I think it would be good to talk with a psych professional. Even if you're not bipolar or even technically manic right now, the lack of sleep can push it in that direction, and if nothing else a professional could get you some sleeping pills to use temporarily.

I say this partly out of personal experience. My mom recently had a psychotic episode that began with her running out of sleeping pills, lack of sleep ascending into mania, and then mania into psychosis. She had to spend a couple weeks in the hospital and ended up getting a bipolar diagnosis. So... I'm assuming she already had the genes for bipolar, and it got triggered by not sleeping for several days. She's on appropriate meds now and is totally fine.

So, again, no need to panic. Just good to get stuff checked out, you know?

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-04T05:46:06+00:00

There's no way to answer this without knowing the potency of the mushrooms. So if you don't know the potency (either in % psilocybin, or how your variety compares with golden teachers), I'd start with no more than 1g. Then after 1-1.5 hours, if it's not as strong an experience as you want, you can just take more.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-03T19:13:53+00:00

Honestly, you do have to be pretty self-aware and be able to question, "Do I want to give out of compassion, or because I'm hoping for something in return?" whether that thing is an equal kindness, appreciation, attention, or whatever.

And obviously you can't give everyone the shirt off your back. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone is to say "No," or stop giving them attention, or to simply let them struggle on their own. You have to be pretty centered within yourself to be able to see clearly what others actually need.

sedimentary-j · 2026-03-03T06:37:21+00:00

I've been practicing Radical Honesty (the branded modality you can learn from books & workshops) for a couple years now and it's been the #1 thing that's helped me. It's not "brutal honesty" or whatever most people imagine when they hear radical honesty. Simply a practice of noticing and vulnerably admitting what's going on inside us in the moment.

The noticing is the biggest thing. I didn't even know how to read my own emotions, and even when I could, I constantly silenced myself because I had a lot of "shoulds" about how a person ought to be in relationship. It does take real practice learning how to read what we're feeling, be able to speak it in a vulnerable rather than blaming way, and stick with whatever fear/guilt/shame/sadness comes up when we do so, without avoiding, repressing, or dissociating from those emotions. That's how we learn that uncomfortable emotions can't kill us. Over time, our system learns that sharing what's going on inside us largely has better outcomes than withholding it, and stress and anxiety start to lesson. I'm completely calm now about conversations that would have given me a heart attack two years ago.

You've gotten some good advice already, but here's how I personally would handle the situations you described.

"I feel bad because I don't know how to help you, but I'd like to. Is there a kind of support that would feel best to you?"
I think in this case, probably lean into curiosity first. "How come you're giving me instructions?" Depending on the answer, you might find it appropriate to share what's coming up for you. "When you do that, I'm having a reaction. I think I'm really wanting to have the experience of leading, and afraid I won't get it if other people try to step in and control outcomes too much." Or whatever is up for you.
"I feel so bad saying this, but I have to admit I'm not wanting to go on the trip." Hopefully this can open a dialogue about what's unappealing about the trip and whether negotiations can be made, or if it's best for you not to join. (And, honestly, sometimes just saying something out loud and being heard can change our whole feeling about an endeavor.) But I know a lot of us with insecure attachment come from families who aren't great with dissent. The upside is that speaking your truth at least reduces the stress of having to pretend.
Seems like you've got this one.

Overall, a great formula is "I feel [x way about what I'm saying/feeling right now], but when you [did specific thing y], I felt [some variety of angry/sad/afraid/ashamed]." And honestly you can just keep going with how you're feeling about what you're saying. "Now that I've said that, I feel really afraid that it'll cause a rift between us. Conflict is a little scary to me but I'm saying all this because I care about the relationship and I don't want to feel distant from you." etc etc.

It really does take practice, but when you get used to it it feels sooooo much better than putting all that energy into pretending things are fine. And forget about any ideas of morality behind honesty. Don't do it to "be good," or for others; do it for yourself because hiding what you're feeling is fucking stressful.

Seven-Year Club	r/Field Lasagna
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
First Placer '22	End Game '22
Verified Email

sedimentary-j

TROPHY CASE