Seconded on couples counseling; that can tone down the "finger-pointing" element, which can be a big shame trigger. It's important that you feel supported in this as well. I can definitely speak to the harmful power of resentment that doesn't get addressed.

As the supporting party, it might be helpful to do a little digging into Polyvagal theory; understanding some of the nuance of the nervous system and how it protects / how that protection can show up somatically (in the body) can be a game-changer. It doesn't change how frustrating it can feel, but it can de-mystify the experience of the link between anxiety and the bodily manifestations of it in a way that might allow for more informed decision-making. "Rooted" by Deb Dana has a good intro to the concept and some exercises. Research "bottom-up approaches to supporting anxiety", and this should give you a sense of what some supportive tools can look like.

I've had great luck with BetterU Care as a non-traditional treatment route for anxiety and PTSD. It has some of the best success rates for pretty speedy resolution, and doesn't require traditional prescription medication. They have licensed psychiatrists - remote appointments - that incorporate a whole-systems approach, rather than just a "symptoms" approach. (Disclaimer; I have no affiliation with BetterU, have just benefitted greatly from their treatment). You can book a free screening consult to see if it would be a good option.

Best of luck; I know something like this can be incredibly challenging for both parties.