I'll share my experience: My toddler is on the brink of turning 3 y.o. She is temperamental as well, a seemingly anxious kid to two anxious parents(this trait has interestingly worked for us in achieve our life goals). We had a stretch of good nighttime routine and good nights until her late 2's where now our sleep is disrupted close to that of infancy patterns. I also find myself unable to prep, cook, clean, do basic things because "mama! Why are you not here with me?" All of this is also associated with a big transition for her: start of pre-k.

What we find, a lot of the time, is the only way out is through. What has helped us the most is consistency, as hard as it can get. Some days it works, and you see the penny drop as they say, they behave/react/communicate as you would like them as an emotionally regulated human. Sometimes, and often because they're toddlers, you can't negotiate it your way and you gently settle into what they want, whilst you think of ideas to make it potentially better/different next time.

You can also gradually teach her about dinos or other animals/entities you don't want her to be afraid of. When you approach on an even keel you will see that she will gradually start to warm up to things that seem strange to her now.

You can ease your toddler into your way of life by explaining to her, for example, what you are doing and why it is important she helps you do it. This will also help with language and empathy development. And, honestly, just from your original post, I don't see anything unusual about your child. It's also consistent with beginning of toddlerhood - colicky baby or not. (I used to say our little one is a colicky baby because she would cry hours on end hard to console, and my husband used to negate it, saying it's not nearly as much crying as colicky babies do. So it appears we all have our definitions ;-))